Is this a good joke to tell on a date?

Question

Here is the joke:

"A lawyer and doctor walk into a bar. The lawyer orders a martini, and the doctor orders a scotch and soda. The bartender comes back and says 'I bet one of you is a lawyer or doctor'

They ask 'how did you know?'

The bartender says, 'well, a lawyer always orders the most expensive drink, and a doctor...well, a doctor knows that if you are sane and in pain, then there is no gain on drinking on the main.'"

So is this a good joke to tell on a date?

Answer 1

Try this one:

One day johnny is in math class and his teacher asks him, “If there are three birds on a fence and you shoot one, how many are left?” To which Johnny replies, “None.”
“Why none?”
“Because if I shoot one the rest will fly away.”
The teacher, looks dumbfounded for a second and says, “Thats not exacly the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you think.”
A little while later in class Johnny asks the teacher, “If there are three women sitting on a park bench eating icecream, one is licking it, one is biting it, and one is sucking on it, how do you know which one is married?”
The teacher looks embarassed for a second and then replies, “Well, the one sucking on it I suppose.”
To which Johnny says, “No, actually its the one with a wedding ring on… but I like the way you think.”

Answer 2

If you want her to think you're an idiot... yes.
Bad joke.

Good joke ->

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

Now THAT's Funny.

Answer 3

How about this one:


A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

Answer 4

I'm sorry NO. Look for a better joke on the internet. This joke would just make me want to get outta there. But good try

Answer 5

Drinking on the main? I don't get it. The lawyer part wasn't even that funny.

Answer 6

Yes for icebreaker since it is quiet and you have nothing to lose

But as long as your date is not a lawyer or a doctor..

Answer 7

i dont get it n im educated but sure go 4 it if it isnt funny at the time then make a joke out of it just go with the flow

Answer 8

NO!
Dont tell "learnt" jokes. Just be witty if you can (but not over the top)
Otherwise be polite and "listen"... women love men who listen because its a task they have alot of trouble with.

Answer 9

It's a great joke to tell on a date if it was a blind date and you wanted to get out of it because you didn't want to be there but other than that please don't tell this joke in public.

Answer 10

It's not raunchy.. your date will appreciate it. It sounds like you want to impress your date and are taking pains give her a fun time.. Kudos to you.. You sound chivalrous.. you are living proof that chivalry isn't dead... Good luck on your date..

Answer 11

Lame!!!
But i guess it will be good to tell on a date! Will actually help you to make eye contact with her,when she will stare blankly at yor face when you finish this!