Can you tell me a really, really good joke that makes milk come out of my nose?

Answer 1

The Bricklayer

To: Safety Committee
Gentlemen:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information.

In Block #3 of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should "explain more fully" and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 lbs. of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof; swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 lbs. of brick. You will note in Block #11 of the accident reportirg form that I weigh 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In.the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tight to the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of.the barrel. Devoid of the welght of the bricks, the barrel now weighted approximately 50 Ibs.

I refer again to my weight in Block #11. As you might Imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks; fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay on the bricks In pain - unable to stand, and watching the barrel six stories above me - I LET GO OF THE ROPE!!

Bob Berger

Answer 2

An old farm couple were standing on their porch looking out over their hundreds of acres,their animals and farm help. The old man grabbed the womans crotch and said, "If you could lay eggs like those chickens, we wouldnt need those chickens." She said, "Yes, you are right."

A little later he grabbed her boob and said, "If you could give milk like those cows, we wouldnt need those cows." She said, "Yes, you are right."

A little later SHE grabbed his crotch and said, "If you could get that thing up, we wouldnt need to hire extra farm help!" He didnt say a word!!

Answer 3

This joke just posted as a qstn:-
WIFE: If I died, would you get married again?
HSBND: Definitely not!
WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?
HSBND: Of course I do.
WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
HSBND: Okay, I will.
WIFE: You would? (with a hurtful look on face).
HSBND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: Would you live in our house?
HSBND: Sure, it's a great house.
WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
HSBND: Where else would?
WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?
HSBND: Probably, it is new.
WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HSBND: That seems like the proper thing to do.
WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?
HSBND: NO, she's left-handed.
WIFE: -- silence --
HSBND: Sh*t.

Answer 4

Only if your drinking Milk.

Answer 5

this one is not that funny, I just remembered it.
a kid goes to ask him mom, mommy mommmy
the kids at school make fun of me, they call me wolf.
The mom looks at him and says, well thats silly you're such a good boy... now go and comb your face.

Answer 6

What did one condom say to the other condom when walking into a gay bar?




Lets get **** faced.

Answer 7

know how to keep a dog from humping your leg? suk his dk

Answer 8

knock knock

whos there

boo

boo who

dont cry cry baby

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Answer 9

not really