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Question

My orogianl question was:
I was in a long relationship and it has been more than three months since we broke up. I would like to date other guys, instead of staying at home. Three weeks ago, Friday, I met this bartender. I was at a bar with my girl-friend and we noticed that he was looking at me (checking me out). So I flirted with him a little, but it ended there. So I went to the same bar on Saturday and I saw him look at me again. I went there after that and I couldn't even buy a drink from him, and the first night he even gave me a free one. I would like to get to know this guy, but I do not know why he is avoiding me now. Should I say something to him first or just wait for him to come to me, and if he doesn't than to look for someone else? Could it be that someone said something bad about me?? The waitress was looking at me in a weird way the first night. Maybe she likes him and said something??? I do not know. I am confused!!! NEED ADVICE

Thank You so much for answering. I was hoping that someone would give me an answer before i make a fool of myself.
Here are more details
I will start by answering your questions
Yes he was flirting with me. He was looking at me and we exchanged eye contact a lot of times. Once I saw that he wasn't coming to me by himself I called him over. When he came I told him that my straw fell into the drink and asked him if I could get another one. He smiled and brought it to me. After that we exchanged eye contact again and I smiled at him. I called him over again. When he came I looked at him in his eyes and said that my straw fell in again. He leaned over at the bar and gave me this very deep look into my eyes and said "what did you do this time". I put an innocent smile on my face and said that I had nothing to do with it that it happened on its own. That is when the waitress came over and said something to him. He was still looking and me and smiling.

She looked at me and gave me a fake smile and turned to him and said something to him again, but I couldn't hear what it was.
After that i ordered another drink, but he told me that he only makes "Sex on the Beach". After that I ordered another drink and he didn't charge me for it. The bar got very busy than, so I left. I didn't want to be a distraction at his work.
Next night I thought that it would be best if I sit at a table far away from him, but where he can see me. So that is what we did. I wasn't paying attention to him, but my friends were keeping an eye on him. He was still looking at me, not my direction but at me. We exchanged eyecontact a few times, but not as much. I wanted him to come over to me if he was interested, or so I thought that. When I went home that night without him asking for my number I was very dissapointed.
As you know he was avoiding me after that.
I would like to get to know this guy so I went up to him.

She looked at me and gave me a fake smile and turned to him and said something to him again, but I couldn't hear what it was.
After that i ordered another drink, but he told me that he only makes "Sex on the Beach". After that I ordered another drink and he didn't charge me for it. The bar got very busy than, so I left. I didn't want to be a distraction at his work.
Next night I thought that it would be best if I sit at a table far away from him, but where he can see me. So that is what we did. I wasn't paying attention to him, but my friends were keeping an eye on him. He was still looking at me, not my direction but at me. We exchanged eyecontact a few times, but not as much. I wanted him to come over to me if he was interested, or so I thought that. When I went home that night without him asking for my number I was very dissapointed.
As you know he was avoiding me after that.
I would like to get to know this guy so I went up to him.

I went there, and called him specifically to take my order. When he came over, I ordered my drink but before he left I asked him "Are you the type of a guy that waits for a girl to make the first move or you are just not interested."
The answer I got, I wished I never asked.
“Interested in you?"
I looked at him and didn't know what to say, but I wanted to keep my cool. I said something, not sure what. I think I said “no not me, who do you think?"
His answer was "When I am working I am working"
I asked "So when are you not working", but since we were both speaking on each others ears over a very loud music, he asked me what I said. I didn't want to repeat it so just said forget it
He charged me for those drinks. After that I didn't want to let him know that it bothered me. I ordered a drink from him again, this time only for myself. He gave me the drink and didn't want to take money for it. He said "It is on me". I wanted to say "take me out and pay for it."

I was at the bar again this weekend, and he gave me another free drink.When one song came on he looked at me and raised his drink. Was this guy hurt by a girl?? Does he not want me??? I WANT HIM!!!

Thank You so much for answering.

Guys do not date this waitress. She is the perfect girl for one night.

I am the kind of a girl that doesn't go up to guys. Guys come to me.
- I have the looks and attitude
- I have a very respected job
- I get asked for my number, not force someone to take it.
-- I WANT THIS GUY JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ME

Answer 1

I have a feeling its part of his work policy not to get personally involved wid the bar's customers (you). So that cld be why he's holding back on asking u for your number. but there is no doubt he is attracted to u. You could make the first move here ya know. :)

Answer 2

Seeing as you sat away at a table and didn't look at him he might have thought that you weren't interested in him, and also seeing as he is a bartender there is a possibility that he couldn't come over to your table, hence giving him the Idea that you were avoiding him. He probably has a totally different impression of you than what you were trying to give him. Oh, and ignore the waitresses fake smile, she could have been telling him a drink that needed to be made and gave you that fake smile because he was flirting with you instead of working.

Answer 3

I know its very hard to get out of a relationship.. and want to be with someone else.. but you cant rush it too much, just because you arent with a guy doesnt mean you have to sit at home on the weekends.
Also, it seemed like fun at first, but it seems like you're taking it WAY to serious.. so just calm down, and chill.. know that there are SO many other good looking guys to flirt with.. (even bartenders I'm sure) if that was what you were looking for.. you know what i mean? there are SO many people.. that you cant rush into it with some guy who gave you a free drink because he liked ya..
If i were you i'd just wait for him to come to you, if you're still interested in him.. wait for him.. and if he comes over asking for a drink.. get one and then talk to him, use you're charm on him and im sure he'll give ya some free drinks.. get to know him some more.. and im sure that after he makes drinks for other people he'll keep coming back to talk to you..
if he doesnt come back.. dont sweat it.. at all.. there are so many people.. i cant stress that enough.. and you can go anywhere and find a guy to flirt with..
just dont hurt yourself by rushing it, and or putting too much of your feelings into it (mainly because you're on the rebound) know that you'll have someone way better then your long term relationship was.. they're waiting out there.. and when the time is right.. it'll happen, it'll all work out.. and you'll be in love (again). :)

Answer 4

Unless your looking for a one night stand don't bother, All he is doing is playing a game with you he new you like him so he showed you all the right signs and know hes backing off so that you will want him more it a easy trick and it work so dint bother or you will get Hert

Answer 5

obviously the waitress is a big part of that equation she might know his girl or wife so you should ask him if he's single next time,,u can even ask if the waitress hates you or not, as a guy i would tell u. and that will kill 2 birds wit one stone, now he knows you are interested

Answer 6

as for me, and i'm a guy, guys don't want to make a move unless were sure that our move will be not for nothing.
Meaning if you make the first move i will make the following moves.
The straw move is just for fun and nothing but just a plain joke. If you really like the guy walk straight to him and start a conversation with him. Maybe he like you too.

Answer 7

keep flirting with him if you are very interised in him, if anyone told him anything and its not true he will soon see for himself and warm up to you, on the other hand if he become interised in you then after awhile i think he will come out and ask you about it so he could hear the truth from the person herself, hang in there

Answer 8

Sounds like he's dating the waitress

Answer 9

bartenders are players. they've got to keep themselves entertained at work, right? and they have scads of hotties making googly eyes at them all night. if you wanna be the one he gets to know my best suggestion for you is to be the one who's there and convenient for him when it's time to close down the bar at the end of the night.

Answer 10

Seems to me that he enjoys looking at you but is not that interested. If he hasn't come on to you by now, I don't think he is interested. Maybe he's committed to someone. I suggest you look elsewhere.

Answer 11

umm when you make eye contact when your sitting at the table give him like a "come here" with your head.. or write your # down and leave it for him when you leave.. sometimes guys are shy!!! i kno i am!! good luck! anyway!