I freeze, help, so much angxiety?

Question

Whenever I go to ask a girl out I freeze, I loose my words, and freak out. Then I run for my life.

like that guy in Dragonball if you ever saw that show.

Why amd I like this, what the **** is wrong with me, who can help?

Answer 1

you need some self confidence.

Answer 2

OK. Go into your closet, take a look around, take them off the hanger and put your "big boy" pants on. I don't mean to be harsh but, asking a girl out isn't any more difficult than asking for directions. Either the person you're asking is going to have tehe right answer or they aren't.

You know....there's nothing wrong with you. You just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and dive in. It soounds as if you've got some issues with self-esteem but I'm sure that if you sat down, looked at yourself really hard in the mirror (seriously) you would see a great person, who is sensitive and not full of himself. It's obvious, by your questions that you have a lot of self-doubts but the only way to get over them is to face your fears straight on.

My suggestion for a face-to-face approach is this: She's there in the same room with you. She's alone or with friends (it doesn't matter) and you go up and introduce yourself (if you don't know her) saying: "I saw you over here and I wanted to come up and ask if you'd like to go get a cup of coffee (or soda or whatever) in the next couple of days. I think you're pretty, funny, cute, have great hair, beautiful/warm eyes[whatEVER it is that attracts you to her] and I figured that going for coffee is a good way for you [her] to get to know me [you] without any major pressure." Unless she's dating/engaged or married, chances are she'll say yes.

If it's a girl you know, tell her that you've been thinking about her and would like to buy her a cup of coffee. If she asks why, tell her that you think she's cute, funny, warm, (whatEVER it is you're attracted to) and you'd thought coffee would be a good way to break the ice and see if you should go out on a "real" date the next time.

I don't know how old you are. I don't know where you live. I DO knnow that women respond to these sorts of invitations a little more often because a coffee or say a lunch date isn't a big a deal as say dinner, drinks and stuff. Casual is ALWAYS a good way to go for a 1st date and it makes asking for the first date easier in my opinion.

You can also use the same "approach" if you're calling for a date or emailing/IM'ing. I will offer these observations about how you present yourself:

In all scenarios, let her know where and when you first say her and what you thought at the time.

In Person:
1. Take a shower, put on clean clothes, brush your teeth and don't use cologne. Let your pheromones do their thing.
2. Look at her, not the floor, the wall, your hands or feet or another person. It doesn't have to be in her eyes, but at her face.
3. Try complimenting her on her hair, something she's wearing-but not too heavily.
4. If you don't know her, and she's said yes, you can offer to give her your phone number to call if something "comes up." Let her know that it's ok if she doesn't give you her number.

On the phone:
1. Have a "cheat sheet" with what it is you want to say. Don't read it word for word, but keep it handy if you feel you've forgotten what you were going to say.
2. Don't worry if there's "dead-air". It happens. Keep the conversation brief. Try not to repeat yourself.

By email or IM:
1. Re-introduce yourself and let her know how and where your met (for you to have gottenher email/IM address)
2. Keep the note simple and check your spelling (if it's an email) Girls look at that sort of stuff.

Just relax. You may have to ask 20 girls, but #21 might say yes. Try and learn something each time you get turned down. AND, try and learn something from each girl that says yes, but ends up being a dud. In time you'll learn how to pick the best apple in the barrel.

Take care. Chin up, shoulders back, chest out, eyes forward and MOVE IT. You can do it.

Answer 3

I am so sorry you have this problem but I really don't understand why you guys are so afraid to talk to us girls. Just ask yourself "whats the worst thing that can happen if you ask a girl out?" Yeah, she could say NO but No never killed anyone that I know of.

Answer 4

try practicing on a girl that you aren't all goofy for. find one that you think is ok but who doesn't get your tongue all wrapped around itself and you will probably turn into a much smoother guy. there's nothing wrong with you that isn't wrong with everybody who tries to approach a situation when he has not yet masterd his passions. don't worry, that will come as you get more experienced.

Answer 5

Idk, it depends. If you're 15, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you're 25... I would suggest you just relax about it.

Worst comes to worst, the girl says she isn't interested. If you're respectful of the woman, she'll be respectful back, even if she turns you down.

Answer 6

just remember the most they can do is say no, in that case you don't them any way because you would not have been good enough later on to keep them happy.

Answer 7

You must be insecure or unsure of yourself somehow. If you figure out why, perhaps you can do something about it from there.

Answer 8

Take a deep breath, breathe in and out, tell urself that u can do this, and go for it!

Answer 9

i know. practice ur skills. ask a girl out when she's alone...