I lied to my mother about having a crush on a guy I've been friends with for 3 years. This is the only thing I've ever kept from her, I don't know why, and she doesn't believe me. She has good reason to, but now she's telling me that she's going to question our whole relationship, and now I feel absolutely horrible and don't know how to make it right. I am not prone to lying, I can honestly say that I've almost never lied, but now it seems like it was all for nothing.
2006-07-12 17:02:04 · 15 answers · asked by caitymercede 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Not knowing how old you are ( but presuming you are very young ), personally, as a Mother myself, I think I would very appreciative of a daughter that had only "committed " this one thing.
All young girls have "crushes". I know I did.
I think your Mom may be being a little hard on you for such a small infraction, to say that she is now going to have to question your whole relationship now.
Maybe she just said it to assure that you don't ever lie to her again?
I'm sorry that you feel so horrible. But, believe me, "this too shall pass".
And, don't feel that your being honest has all been for nothing.
Maybe you could just wait until your Mom calms down about it, and then sit her down and tell her that you NEED to have a serious conversation about what happened. Tell her just what you wrote here. You have to let her know how upset you are about it.
Good luck, and be brave. And even more importantly, keep being honest. That is a VERY important quality in a person.
I'm VERY sure that the two of you will work it out.
A Mothers love is unconditional, regardless of how upset we may get at times.
2006-07-12 17:21:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with her. Tell her the truth, explain to her why you lied to her (maybe because you didn't want to be embarrassed by her in front of him, or maybe for other reasons). But honesty's always the best way to go.
However, I'm not sure your mother should question your whole relationship. This is really a minor situation. You could have lied to her about something else, like marrying some dude you just met yesterday, having twins, and failing school or something like that. It should be pretty easy for her to get over, I'd think. Regardless, I suggest telling the truth.
2006-07-13 00:07:42 · answer #2 · answered by rliedtky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down privately with your mom and spill it. Tell her you didn't tell her the truth, and that you are coming clean now because you were so hurt by the damage this one untruth has caused to her view of your whole relationship. Tell her why you withheld the truth, too, because your reasons can help her believe that you are telling the truth now. Don't hold anything back.
And when you are finished, tell her that you love her, and ask for her forgiveness.
Don't make excuses, or try to place any of the blame on her. You were the one who made a choice to be dishonest - accept that responsibility, and let her know you are accepting it. Tell her that if there are any consequences for your actions, you are willing to accept them - and mean it. This is a chance for you to grow as a person. Becoming an adult is all about learning to handle responsibility for your choices. This is a hard way to learn this lesson, but at least you chose something that didn't need to be handled publicly!
Good luck!
2006-07-13 00:11:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a with-hold.
All you can do is choose to ignore it and let it gnaw at you or come clean.
If you choose to come clean do it simply. State what you did and what was driving you to make that choice. You don't need to make up a story or excuse (the skin of a lie packed with a reason).
Finally look deep to see if it is a pattern - if so acknowledge that pattern and state that you will make a new choice to break it - and be true to your word.
There is nothing more to be said - don't ramble. If there is a consequence for your action bear it willingly.
The stuff we hold in keeps our excellence at bay - we can never be perfect but we can always get better...
If your mom is normal she'll appreciate the open approach - even if she reacts badly keep in mind people react or respond to situations and that is on them NOT you - you've already come clean.
Good luck!
2006-07-13 00:11:43 · answer #4 · answered by Steve D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds perfectly normal not to tell your mother when you have a crush on someone.
Explain to your mother that you just wanted some privacy and were confused about your feelings, and didn't feel able to discuss them with anyone, not even her.
I'm sure you can rebuild your relationship.
2006-07-13 00:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a bit much for her to go that far over that, something that isn't any big deal where she is concerned. Well, since you know that she knows, may as well just tell her that you just simply didn't want to say! That you'd have rather kept it to yourself a bit longer.
2006-07-13 00:29:39 · answer #6 · answered by Indigo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry your mother's feelings are just hurt.
Regardless of whatever your mother said she knows hat you are a good girl and she will forgive you. Believe me if anyone is going to forgive you.
Your mother will.
2006-07-13 00:12:37 · answer #7 · answered by s. life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kept it from her to begin with. There was a reason you did that. You can't lie to yourself. There is probably a reason you didn't tell her to begin with. Fess up and be truthful to yourself. This will help your relationship with mom out as well.
2006-07-13 00:08:15 · answer #8 · answered by sean1201 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the only thing you have ever lied about...you are good! Don't stress!! Mom shouldn't stress either! But, don't make a habit of fibbing...it can be bad!
2006-07-13 00:07:15 · answer #9 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all.. why would your mom care so much over a crush?
Second... sit her down & tell her the truth.. and also your rational behind lying... Maybe is't none of her business...
2006-07-13 00:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by dot_216 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋