"Love"
Love is complicated,
Love is fine,
Love is a sweet thing
like a fine wine,
My love is for you alone,
which no one else shall recieve,
I love you my dear,yours my heart shall forever be.
i want ur opinion u think this was a good poem?
and yet i ended up wastin it on a girl who left me for a guy she met on criuse last summer
2006-07-12 16:48:27 · 18 answers · asked by Gollum 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok...
you need to work on rythm.
also if you're going to do alternating rhyme keep it up.
however I do not recomend it. it cramps your ability to express yourself.
the type of meter, rhyme and rhythmic setting I recomend is this:
none.
poetry is something
where the words,
sound good togather
it doesn't have to be complex
or difficult
nor does it have to rhyme
all the time
or at all either.
what you need to do is loosen up.
give it a go
put your heart into it.
want to see one of my poems?
for the girl I love?
her name has been removed to preserve her privacy.
_______
you to have
you to hold
you to love
you as my friend
forever.
no matter
what you
think
say
do
how you
look
or
speak
I'll still love you
it's you I love
and you I want
to have
to hold
forever
see
that poem
is in a free verse
rhythm and rhyme
are not nessicary
they merely force you to conform to a pattern
while this may be nice under some circumstances,
I recomend you simply do a complete thought on each line
like this one:
once again, I have removed her name, to preserve her privacy, and mine...
I can't thank you enough for listening to me.
It makes me feel so much better,
to know that somebody cares.
It means so much to me
that it's you who cares.
You make me feel
so much better. No matter what.
You listen. You try to help.
Even when it can't be helped.
You light up my day,
and make me happy
you are the light of my life
you lift me up, when I am down
and help me along the way.
I wanted to thank you;
but words seem too meager,
to explain, what you do means to me,
what you mean to me.
Thank you, _______
make your own
you never know.
I may just copyright them
also, may I coment on your writing and grammar?
Ur was a city in babalon.
Wastin is a town
criuse isn't a word (cruise)
spell check is your friend!
2006-07-12 16:51:36 · answer #1 · answered by The greatest and the best. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's heartfelt and sweet. Not bad for a guy...and the fact that you put forth the effort is endearing. Sorry it didn't work, but things go that way sometimes. At least you tried and that's what matters.
2006-07-12 23:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by neener68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds sweet - "my precious"
Keep the poem ... another girl is on the horizon
2006-07-12 23:51:46 · answer #3 · answered by BigBadBoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg that is sooo sweet
poor baby i feel soo bad 4 u she left u 4 sum guy she met on a cuise!!
that asshole
2006-07-12 23:52:24 · answer #4 · answered by happylittlewhalewithpinkpants 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, but Im not really understand the message from the poem
2006-07-12 23:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by zaidos83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really like this poem!
did you actually write it for that girl though?
that sucks that she left you like that!
you could find someone better that acutally deserves for you to write them a poem.
2006-07-12 23:56:18 · answer #6 · answered by Jo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, its a great poem, and yeah, women are whores. just wait for the one who isnt (they are out there).
2006-07-12 23:55:53 · answer #7 · answered by Marines 4 Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its nice but it looks like it came from a hallmark card.
2006-07-12 23:50:15 · answer #8 · answered by lonely girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its OK kinda cardy but still cute . too bad u wasted it
2006-07-12 23:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by Andy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't waste it you only practiced on her. its still a perfect poem .
2006-07-12 23:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by territheterribleliar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋