How can u tell if a guy is really a thug, is trying 2 use u 4 your money or sex, esp if he is good @ pretendin

Question

g to be in love with you or like u when he doesnt. Then all of a sudden he turns into the bad guy and your left feeling deceived and like a fool. How long if they are pretending to b somebody their not will they eventually show their true colors? Girls has this happened 2 u? how did u become better at detecting deception and lies? In short how do u know when he is lying, what if he is good at it?

Answer 1

Some guys are good at it. There is no way to tell.
Dump him quick if you find out.

Answer 2

This has happened to me..
YOu can tell by if you have to do all the chasing, it probably isn't worth it and you are going to hear a few lies. I think you get a feeling in your gut. I think most older men are jaded and its hard to find one that is sincere. But then there are the young whores as well. How can you tell? Usually a good friend won't lie left and right.

Answer 3

A good way to detect a guy like this, is if he calls you names, asks you for a lot of money at once, or pushes sex on you all of the time. I have had a friend in this type of situation. I detected it by seeing the way he treated my friend and I told her straight out what was going on.

Answer 4

Don't ask the girls- You should be asking the guys this question... From the door don't allow yourself to fall for him for a while. At least try to use my three month rule. Watch him closely and if he is bad, his lies and deciet will show. But if you slip and fall for him, you will be taken in by his game. You'll start telling him he's changed, and accepting sh-- that you would not have accepted when you first met him. Don't get pimped pimpin.

Answer 5

You dont know until it happens and when it does you drop him and move on to the next one.

Welcome to the uncertain world of the dating game, good luck and thanks for playing.

Answer 6

if he is tryin to use u for sex hell keep emotcionally blackamilin you. hell say stuff liek that if u love me then ull have sex with me.

Answer 7

I think one of the very best ways is to have another friend observe you two together. Sometimes, when our hearts get involved, we cannot tell if we are being played or not.

I know a woman who has lived with her drug-dealer-jerk-loser-user-player boyfriend for years. He has her hooked on heroin right now. Despite the wonderful things she told me about him before I met him, it took me all of 5 minutes to figure out he was trash, and he was not only on his best behavior with me, he really turned on the charm. He was so kind and flattering and wonderful to me, but I could still read him like a cheap-a** flyer.
Unfortunately, she didn't listen to me, and she didn't listen to any of her other friends, either. Now, I don't know what we can do to help her, short of reporting him to the police so he get arrested and goes away for a while. He is currently using her for everything from money and sex to pimping her out when he's buying drugs and trying to cut a better deal with his supplier. It's really a very sad situation.

The main thing is that everyone else could clearly see what was going on, eventhough he is excellent at charming both women and men. I think people like that are just the same as any other person who is ugly on the inside; their ugliness is like a cancer that eats them inside, and sooner or later, it shows through to the surface. It's just that when your heart is involved, whether you are a man or woman, you cannot see quite as clearly as someone else can. That's why friends are indispensable. Have one of your close friends, one that you really trust, hang out with you and a guy. It doesn't matter if your friend is a man or a woman, just that they be good at paying attention to small cues. Give them a chance to get to know him, and let them tell you what they think. Chances are really good they will be able to read him better than you can.

The really hard part comes when it's time to listen to their advice. I know I have gotten so wrapped up in a man before that no amount of warnings about him being bad could have reached me. That's why it's important that you pick a friend that you really trust--it will make it a little easier to listen to their advice later on, especially if the news is less than pleasant.

Users, both male and female, are sometimes so darn good at it that they manage to pull it off for a long time before anyone spots how fake they are. Those ones are hard to deal with. The best advice I can offer on them is just drop them the minute you figure it out. Don't let them manipulate you into letting them back in your life.

With all that said, I do think there are a few things you can do that help you kind of see where a person's head is, especially in respect to sex and money, but also in respect to how much they care about you and your welfare.

1. It's okay to pay for stuff, but don't give a person money, or lend them money if they ask for it. Just tell them you don't have any you can part with, even if it's just for a few days. Do this regularly, because a person that is just using you for money will definitely take off if they aren't getting the money they want from you.

2. If you are wondering about sex, set it up so you aren't always available when they are in the mood. Someone who really loves you wants to be with you because of who you are, not because of how often you will have sex with them. Users who are after sex will quickly tire of being told, "Not right now, honey," and they will split.

3. If you want to know if they respect you and your feelings, ask them to do things for you that they might not normally want to do. Ask them to go to family functions, or go shopping with you, or help you with some big project around the house. One of the ways I knew immediately that my husband was a good guy was because he was always doing stuff for me, without even being asked. He would come over and say he needed to borrow my car because he needed to move something big (back then he had his old muscle car, which had no storage space in it), and instead, he would take it to his house and change the oil, and top off all the fluids, and check the tires, and then wash it and detail it. He also never said no if I asked him if he would go with me to a family function, or to take me out to do errands and shopping (which he absolutely hates), or some other thing he isn't crazy about. I knew he said yes out of respect for me and my feelings, and because he just wanted to be around me, even if it was at a terribly boring family picnic.

Most of all, please remember that part of living is getting your heart stepped on from time to time. Try and keep it form destroying you and your faith in people. It's just a hazard of dealing with other humans, and we all have to go through it. If you want to be open to loving and being loved for who you are, you have to also be open to getting hurt once in a while.