We have dated for the last couple years and he has 3 kids over 25 and they are worthy of being turned over his knee and given *** whippins. He works so hard 6 days a week 12 hours a day. 1 of his kids is an alcoholic and has no drivers license. He lived at home until he managed to get an apartment with his girlfriend last yr. The next kid is married to a loser and she doesn't want to work. She is a stay at home mom and refuses to get a job, so she and her husband pack their kids and move in with dad, so they can get ahead. She just moved out of her dads, bought a new van, a new home, all new appliances and I can see it coming. Her husband just quit his job a week ago 3 months after moving out of my boyfriends house. All I can say is I hope the van, new appliances and home is paid for. I told him his kids always had everything they wanted because he works his *** off. They are all irresponsible and I cannot put up with it.
I have no ground to stand on here do I?
2006-07-12 16:03:18 · 10 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He works so much he sometimes don't have time for me. He says he is helping his kids out because they are raising his grandchildren. The son-in-law sits around and drinks and wont even mow the yard.
2006-07-12 16:25:45 · update #1
Since his kids are adults, it doesnt really matter or not whether they like you, providing he doesn't let them get between you.
Unfortunately, it sounds like that is not the case.
If he does not put his foot down and cut off the help and make them act like responsible adults, there is nothing you can do. He has to do it, and he has to first see there is a problem the way things are.
Of course, all parents should help if they can in a bona fide emergency .... and i mean those not brought about by irresponsibility in the first place.
Unless you want to go through life being low man on the totem pole, you might wnt to reconsider this relationship.
2006-07-12 16:10:05 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Over 25 years old is no longer a kid and they should all be self-supporting without any help from dad. Dad needs counseling to see why he feels the need to still support 3 adults. If he refuses, you need to understand that this will always be a major difference between you two. If you can handle that, let it be. If you can't then it's best to cut the ties now and move on. Good luck!
2006-07-12 16:26:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard situation. I feel sorry for you. Sounds like your bf has to put his foot down and stop this from happening. I was always depending on my mother for everything, and I mean everything. I had moved in with a guy that i thought I was going to marry and suddenly he beat me so I left the same day. I came back to my hometown and wanted to move in with my mother until I got a place. Her husband at the time (he is dead now), told her that it was either him or me. So she choose him. I was homeless for 6 months. I stayed in a homeless shelter. I was very angry with her for choosing him over me. I would remind her of that everyday I talked to her. This happened back in 2003. I have now kept my same place since and have not depended on her for anything. She called it "Tough Love". That is what he has to do with his children. They are all grown and he does not hold any more financial responsibility for them.
If he does not want to stop protecting them, clearly then there is nothing you can do. Just ask yourself if your relationship with your bf is that important to you? A good friend told me once that you can do bad by yourself.
My mother did the right thing by cutting me off. I have learned to be independent. I had to have a "wake up call"
I hope this has helped you and good luck!
2006-07-12 16:15:46 · answer #3 · answered by Lizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he lets his kids walk all over him. His kids are adults and maybe he needs to start treating them as such. I think you need to have a calm talk with your boyfriend and discuss the matter. Why should you suffer. If he can't deal with them properly while respecting you at the same time, then maybe you should move on and find someone who doesn't baby his irresponsible adult children and can focus his attention on you.
2006-07-12 16:10:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok,,,,,,My mom and pop use to strive against each and each and every of the time and the first time he pushed my mom became after she hit him. i will claim that once human beings get indignant they look able to do issues that they by no potential ought to do in the previous. My dad isn't an abusive individual in any respect yet he by no potential ever pushed someone that wasn't beating up on him first. i do not ignore that you suggested you also pushed him too that became no longer too sensible that purely escalated the argument to that aspect. i do not condone absolutely everyone putting there fingers on one yet another in anger yet i will allow you to recognize it takes position a lot more suitable than human beings admit. the way your describing him tells me that he by no potential executed this in the previous. i imagine that you both want to discuss the incident to be sure what you both can accomplish that it received't get to that extreme aspect back. If it takes position back are you sense afraid of him it may well be extra perfect to leave. My father he felt so undesirable about pushing her that one time he did not push decrease back the awesome time they argued and she or he broke his neck, they at the instantaneous are divorced yet I want he ought to have pushed her faraway from him that aspect to guard himself. Please in case you sense threatened leave i'd not favor you to get harm.
2016-11-06 07:20:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think he had nothing to do with the way his kids turned out? He sounds like a workaholic that had no time for his family and just handed out money to make up for it. I'd think twice about a permanent relationship with a person like that. What will you do when he has no time for you?
2006-07-12 16:17:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GEEZZZZZZ.GEt out.you and i have alot in common.i can't work because of what my fiance i've lived with for 3 yrs.has goin on w/his children.AS HE CALLS IT drunk patrol .both young men under 30.I am being paidbto not work to transport whenever they can't scince dl suspesion>when we fight i'm worthless and i don't work.this makes momy/nanny happy,but,gives my supposed future the right to down me for everything i don't do like WORK.I gave up 45,000 a year for them. But I am still worthless.Sorry but it pisses me off to hear about people who CAN work BUT won't.I WANT TO>What an issue HUH
2006-07-12 16:40:31 · answer #7 · answered by sandy v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely do not have first place in his life and, no, a man like this will never give you ground to stand on. Pack it in and find someone else, unless you want to be fourth in his life forever. Those kids will never grow up and be on their own as long as daddy does this. I wouldn't want this hassle in my life.
2006-07-12 16:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by save_up_your_tears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares how his kids feel about you. How does he feel about you. If he's not crazy about you, it's time to move on. If he is, marry the slob, move him into your place, and no kids.
2006-07-12 16:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by sltoots 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you said it, I'm sorry he sounds like a nice man with a messed up family...but their his family...he will side with them before...he will
want you to say anything bad about them...
I hope he will just see you care about him
and love him...and are just tired of his kids...
just don't say your tired of his kids.
good luck..
2006-07-12 16:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by reneyhun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋