I confess to you all brothers and sisters in atheist land..I grievously sinned today. I ate a small round piece of pecan pie...and THEN...in wanton aggression...I also bought and ate a snickers bar (with almonds ), I fear that the calorie gods are very angry at me and the chubby demons are flying to attack my thighs and my glutamus maximus ( bottom ) at this very moment!! What should I do you guys ? Is there a primordial cure for this outrageous transgression ? Will I soon lose my toothpick with hair appearance and fall into the dark caloric shadows of chubbyland ? Shall I soon be smitten in the thighs and the buttocks by the evil chubby godz ?
Please advise quickly. I await your counsel fair primal onez !
2006-07-12 14:48:31 · 24 answers · asked by ? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'll meet you in hell, and we'll sweat off the pounds, until then, eat whatever you want.
2006-07-12 14:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh don't worry about it. The calorie demons have been sitting on my shoulder all night telling me about the jalapeno peppers and tortilla chips iin the kitchen. Then they made me melt cheese all over it and scoff the lot. They are now trying to talk me into going out to the 24 hour garage ( it's 3.07 a m here in northern Ireland) to get some more munchies.
If you're anything like me you could use a little padding round the glutamus maximus anyway. Mine is too skinny, I don't have much of one to be honest, unlike my top half.......
2006-07-12 15:11:04 · answer #2 · answered by debisioux 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A snickers with almonds.. honestly.... what has become of the world when the good old fashioned snickers has been corrupted with almonds - this is an abomination worthy of hellfire and brimstone!
2006-07-12 14:54:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
multiple sins are relaxing because, properly, they're many times relaxing. so a procedures as why they're a sin... possibly that is results of certain kinds of relaxing that cause them to a sin. i do not imagine that's the relaxing factors in themselves that are incorrect. that's that maximum of them, in case you do them, carry consequences you purely do not imagine about on the time of committing them. That, or they carry consequences we ought to favor to trust received't contact us if we finally use person-pleasant sense even as we sin (consisting of someone who says they could drink without it being volatile see you later as they don't get lower than the impact of alcohol). possibly contained in the accurate they're sins because the undesirable purely outweighs regardless of robust (or regardless of the indisputable fact that a lot relaxing) you get from them... and probably, because we are in ordinary words human, we purely have a complicated time accepting that. we favor to trust that if we use our person-pleasant sense above each and everything else, we are able to't be touched by employing the undesirable consequences. besides, maximum sins must have something strong about them in the adventure that they are to be committed. If there have been fairly no advantages to sinning none individuals ought to sin, and there must be no want for sins to be noted to us. Even the worst of sins ought to correctly be justified by employing the thoughts of the guy who commits them. For some the justification is they're relaxing. For others, there are likely different causes they arise with to justify why they do them.
2016-11-06 07:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are of coarse forgiven. But if you don't repent by running a mile the fat faeries may just pay you a visit. They've been visiting me too often lately.
2006-07-12 14:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by laetusatheos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no sin. Only the siren song of nougat.
Forgive yourself. Have an Oreo.
2006-07-12 14:52:34 · answer #6 · answered by ratboy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quick, run a few laps around the block! Waste no time!
2006-07-12 14:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by Playwright Extraordinaire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say 2 hail Mary's,.... 2 our Fathers,....put $20 in the poor box (towards the Fathers golf fees)......and buy - your - way - out, like everybody else!!! lol lol
Thanks for a good laugh Little Morph....keep that sense of humour....and don't let the "BAST*ARDS" wear ya down!!
2006-07-12 15:03:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask God for forgiveness not us, for been such a foolish person. Make sure you don't get diarrhea tonight, and then you sure will be sorry.
2006-07-12 14:52:25 · answer #9 · answered by Evy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend sex, and lots of it ... always a good way to work off the calories.
2006-07-12 14:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by Arkangyle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋