He asked me to wait a little while longer but how long is too long to wait for him to figure out his life?

Question

Here's the short version. He's 33, divorced, has a job & a son-ex has custody, he has visitation rights. After 3 yrs he hardly trusts me, won't share things w/ me, seldom communicates, holds things back, ignores what he doesn't want to answer, claims he only visits a romance chat room to talk to a hs friend (a woman) says he will call then doesn't, we meet secretly-the ex doesnt like me/has threatened to not let him see his son & he texts more than he calls. I do realize he has low self esteem & almost no confidence in himself but he doesnt realize how hard this is for me. When I try talking to him about sharing, opening up w/me I receive the same answer of "I'm trying" or "I thought I was getting better".When I bring up a subject he doesnt like talking about (ex-his blocking me out)he gets upset & tells me I am over-reacting. He doesn't like most of my friends & states they're against him. Ive did everything to show him how much he means to me. Any suggestions on this situation?

Answer 1

If you've been with him for three years, and he still lets his ex dictate your relationship, move on. He's not going to change. He's letting her run his life, and that should have ended long ago. Get out, and find someone who will treat you right.

Answer 2

I'm sorry that you've found yourself in this situation. I think it is a hopeless one for you. From just your short story, I think he just doesn't have the courage or common courtesy to tell you that the relationship you share will go no further than it already has. While it may be hard, you really need to find someone else to share your life with. You seem to be caring and very patient. You deserve someone that respects and loves you. I hope you have the courage to find what you truly deserve.