how can I find a reason to live?

Question

heres the problem. I am 24 years old and have no career, friends who dont understand me and think they do, I am having a hard time trying to understand myself (forgot what I am passonate about and what I do well) , I havent dated since my junior prom (one of the 3 only dates I accually had in my life), and I have never left the east coast of the usa. Fathest I have been is the boader of Virgina and the boader of New York. I have been having thoughts that I should just commit suicide and end it because there is no hope in site. I have faced depression before and the thoughts of suicide but was able to dig myself out of that hole for a while. But it seems that it is trying to creep back. That is why I am asking for help on this. If I can find the passion that I use to have and persue it I can fight the negitive thoughts off again. any advise or suggestion are appreated. sorry for the length of this. Also please nothing about God or religion. they dont help. at least for me.

thank you all. more people answered then I thought would. And many of you have said some interesting solution and insights. I do have some spiritual beliefs that is why I said that religion doesnt help. Even though they change time to time they have helped a bit. But unable to rid the thought of suicide from subconsious. I better then to comitt suicide but sometimes it feels like a reasonable idea and that is what scares me. I figue it is best to find a thought with knowledge. But it does seem I am only half right. Thank you all for your support and advice. You have been a great help so far.

tried meds dont work and dont like the idea of something messing with my brain especially by humans who dont understand fully about the brain and how it fully works.

Answer 1

Read the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. Really! It's only a couple hundred pages, but packed with insight.

Try not to compare yourself with others and be content with your station in life. That's not to say you shouldn't try to improve your situation, but don't feel bad that you're not at a place that you feel you should be or you think society is saying you should be.

Don't overdo any one thing; everything in moderation, as the saying goes. Too much time on the computer, reading, partying, whatever is not good. But a little of these things sprinkled in your life IS.

I know it sounds corney, but tell yourself you're ok and that you're doing the best you can. Many times we don't have people telling us these things so we need to learn to say encouraging things to ourselves. You may think this is nutty, consider the alternative you mentioned in your question. You have to be a little open minded dude.

Lastly, set some goals. Try setting simple goals first, like, visiting a new city you've never been before or reading the book I mentioned above. Then move on to bigger goals that move you closer to your dreams. You mention going out on dates. Try asking someone out you're interested in. You may be surprised that they might say yes. And if they don't, don't worry about it. Keeping asking until someone agrees. Maybe start out being friends - go out for coffee or something. Who knows where it might lead.

Good luck my friend! Take care!

Answer 2

If you seek passion, you will not find it sorry. You can travel the globe and still not have that. You might want to consider therapy and discover what is bothering you because there is a glass ceiling that is preventing you from living. I do not know what that is, but my guess is a fear or phobia. The negative thoughts you have need to be balanced not replaced with positive ones. Here's a thought at least you went to prom, not everyone goes you know. Look at all the things you can do versus stuff other people can't and life doesn't look so bad. Get a self-help book like Mind over Mood and follow the exercises because that helps too.

Answer 3

Ok well here we go advice from one manic depressive to another iam there too right now and just recently started having a lot of the same thoughts. Listen there is a thing about depression and anxiety that I have learned, by acting in a certain manner it always benefits you somehow even though you could obviously sit there right now and say it doesnt but it does and it is so complicated to explain. Look I cant say these thoughts arent natural and I cannot condone you for having them all I can say is if you wanna try and talk more things out and as far as career oportunities I have a small business blaze blah email me at [e-mail] at least hear me out.

Answer 4

Ok, I'm no psychologist but maybe I can be of help. Where do you think your depression could come from? Are you shy, introvert, do you have issues with your body or problems with your parents? Do you have past problems at home that are unresolved? There are tons of questions to ask and answer. Why do you think you don't have a career? Do you have a job? Are you in school?
Once you answer some of these questions maybe then youcan try to fix certain problems or maybe just dealing with them would help. You should find a professional to talk to, to guide you to get out of this darkness. Good luck. Write back so I know you are here.

Answer 5

I've been there, too. It's a horrible hell to be in. Nothing you used to love matters, you can't find a single reason to exist. I've been through a bunch of antidepressants, and you have to keep trying them until you find the right one. Sometimes it's more than depression, but doctors only want to see depression as the problem. It's not your fault, and you haven't done anything wrong. Please understand that. It's a mental disorder that you will probably have to treat for the rest of your life, but you need to recognize that you need help. Religion definately won't do it. It's a very real thing, and not just made up in your head. No one can understand your personal hell, even if they suffer like you do, but there is always hope. You just have to keep trying. You're so young, don't give up. Keep trying. As hard as it is, and as much as you want to throw it all away, just keep trying. I hope this helps a little. Keep hoping, okay?

Answer 6

Have you tried talking a doctor about this,family, or even an animal?You keep thinking negative and don't think about the positive things about your life.First, you have life, and once it gone it gone forever.Second, there alots to do in life, your friends probaly don't understand you because you don't talk to them too much to show your feelings,if it doesn't work, find a friend on a hobby like a sport,tv show, or anything else.You should try to find a job that support collage for you so you can make a career.Take vacations in winter and summer if you can.About the dates, if can't find a girl, explore other places, and if you want company fast, buy a pet or adopt a child.

Answer 7

Congratulations! You just took the first step in helping yourself...talking! I know from experience that ppl who commit suidide don't talk...that's why they end up the way they do. Trust me..some ppl would love to just be able to know that they're NOT going to die! I can't help but be able to sense that you're hesitent in your tone. There must be at least ONE good reason you could think of to stay on Earth. Let me tell you..I have 3 kids, fulltime student, no job, $50,000 in debt, and just lost a good friend today over a stupid argument...but I would never commit suicide. Even though my life isnt what i want it to be I still want to be able to live each day to try to struggle through my life because i know i have the potential and so do you...you just have to put your mind to it because someday i will look back at all those silly ppl that said i couldnt do it and say "I told you so!" Good Luck and Blessed Be!

Answer 8

times are hard and even when you believe you are happy, you're not. even when things seem mediocre, something fails. have you ever thought of joining a club or organization? a place where you can meet people and socialize. how close are you with your family. family is an essential key to functioning in society. women will always be around, although i know it's hard not having someone to confide in. it's good to spend time with yourself but you MUST get up and get out or else you'll fall deeper and deeper in that hole. take pride in your abilities and never doubt your existence. i'm sure you have plenty to offer to this world. i felt like you once when i got out of a bad relationship. i couldn't feel anything except agony and despair. always know things do get better but only if you let them...please don't harm yourself and always acknowledge that you are here for a purpose. you're young and have so much life to live. i hope i've been somewhat helpful.

Answer 9

What you describe seems much like clinical depression. You should consider seeking professional counseling. If you find some help before it gets really bad (and it does get worse), you can probably get out of it without too much trouble.

The important thing to remember is that you can feel the way you want to. It just may take some time to get there - in the meantime, you just have to do the best you can for yourself. Put yourself in a good, stable position in life.

Answer 10

Go look in the mirror, and if you don't see a reason to live, keep staring at that person looking back at you in the mirror until you do. That person needs you.

There's only one person on this planet that can love you the way you need to be loved, and that's you.

Get yourself to that place, and you won't give a crap what people think of you or what this world does to you.

And don't fret because you're 24 and you haven't arrived yet. You've got a long way to go, but the journey's awesome, my friend.

Don't ever get down on yourself, or your life. It's precious, and so are you. There's only one you, and we all need the gifts and talents that you have to offer the world, too. So don't let it go to waste. It's not all about you.