I met my husband thru his sister,, we were best friends then when her brother and I hit it off she got mad and turned her mom against me "after" we got married,, they talk about me behind my back and i hear it from others,,, when we are over for family functions i feel like an outcast and get "the looks" it makes me so uncomfortable that i hate going there with my husband and will come up with excuses not to go... it's puttin a strain on us because i feel uncomfortable around them,, i have asked mom-in-law why she doesn't like me and she says " oh we LOVE you" but then the way they talk about me and treat me tells me differently.. please help me to make a happier home...
2006-07-12 10:50:33 · 11 answers · asked by unsure 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
OH MY GOD! Im in the same exact boat you are in! I met my hubby in highschool and he was my best friends brother well we started dating and have been married 20 years now and I dont speak with my old best friend anymore and hi mother totally hates me and I have NO IDEA WHY! It bothers me cuz id like my hubby to see his family more but he will not go if I dont go and I wont go cuz they are total a$$es about it. I say stop trying to get them to like you. Keep your heart and spirits set on your hubby and making him happy! Thats where the real gold is!
2006-07-12 11:01:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like the problem stems from the original friendship with your husbands sister and for some reason she never wanted you to be together as a couple. When you hit it off and eventually got married she was left with only one option and that was to turn her family against you out of spite. The unknown variable here is 'WHY' she didn't want you two to get together in the first place so if you want to get to the bottom of the problem, you need to start with her and find out exactly why she was or is still against you and her brother being a couple.
2006-07-12 10:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe your husband should ask his mom why she doesn't like you. How long has this been going on? If you got married less than a year ago it will clear out. The first year is always rocky with family.
Maybe you can figure out what makes you different from the family. I'm going through a similar situation except I'm on the family side.
2006-07-12 10:57:27 · answer #3 · answered by christigmc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you need to tell your husband about your problem. Then, you need to have a sit down conversation with your husband, his mom and his sister. Talk through the situation, explain to them how they make you feel. Ask them to be honest with you and tell them what their problems are and why they treat you the way they do. Your husband should stand by you and with you through this, if anything he should stand up for you as well. Communication is the key here to make this relationship and family work.
2006-07-12 10:57:10 · answer #4 · answered by sweet_bella06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk 2 your husband see if he has any ideas of y they dont like u and if iots because of his sister talk to her ask her whats the problem. when that dont work jus talk to the family wen u r all together and tell them how u feel and see how they repond make sure your husband is there to just in case a issue is brought up he said ''i do'' for a reason and he is supposed to help you through the thick and thin u kno the vows. good luck.
2006-07-12 10:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by Chevy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can give you is not to expect them to like you. You have done what you could. There's a time to give up. It sounds like now is that time. You do need your husband's support. If he will not give it to you, let him go to the family functions by himself. You are a person too, and deserve respect. I personally wouldn't be around those who didn't respect me. Good luck.
2006-07-12 10:56:08 · answer #6 · answered by lynda_is 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the sister who was your friend and find out why she got angry (I think it would be great to have a best friend marry a brother of mine). It won't be easy. See what you can do to fix whatever her problem is. I think that might be the only way in. Good luck!
2006-07-12 10:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like the problem lies with your in laws and not you. Your husband can have a relationship with them, but you don't have to. I wouldn't let them get to you and I wouldn't let them come between you and your husband. Just tell your husband how you feel and that you don't want to go anywhere that you don't feel welcomed.
2006-07-12 16:53:33 · answer #8 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a child who grew up in this type of environment. my parents marriage was strained and had his family's interference weekly... in the end daily. the best thing my parents did was relocate to Florida and for quite some time he lost contact with his family... which i don't want that to happen to you... his sister just passed away last month and its hard because you lost contact with that person and live with regret. no matter how many times you try to talk to them about their feelings towards you they always say "but we love you, its your imagination".... don't believe that. anything worth having is worth fighting for, maybe your husband should talk to them.... inform them nothing is going to change and please learn to accept my wife... if not there are consequences because i love her and she is going nowhere :)
2006-07-12 11:01:09 · answer #9 · answered by princessashley2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself and stop trying to please them all the time. They'll eventually come around if they want to continue seeing your husband. It took 4 years before I felt my mother-in-law didn't hate me (we were just dating at the time). She also swore that she liked me the whole time. Some people just don't know how to make people feel welcome.
2006-07-12 10:56:27 · answer #10 · answered by LB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋