This is so personal... but I'm just scared I'm making a bad choice. I love love love my man, have been with him for four and a half years through a LOT... Well we ended up breaking up for a few months and I moved away and met some other guys who I was extremely attracted to and who easily turned me on whenever I was alone with them. Well my boyfriend made some changes and moved to be with me and now we are very happy. My problem is that I'm just not into sex with him. I've never really been into sex anyway.... but with those other guys I was excited. My friends just say it's cause it was new and I am used to my boyfriend, but I feel awful cause I love him very much but I just don't want to have sex! He is very very patient with me, but it makes me cry cause I mentally want to... just not physically. I am boy crazy and am attracted to other guys, but i NEVER would want to BE with another guy... make sense? i can't imagine my life without my boyfriend... any suggestions?
2006-07-12 09:27:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when I said "making a bad choice", I meant... am I supposed to stay with him? Sex is a huge part of a relationship, and especially a marriage... but I can't imagine breaking up with him cause he doesn't turn me on! I'm very happy with him and can't imagine spending my life with anyone else but him... but the thought that I am not with someone that DOES turn me on eats at me every day!!!
2006-07-12 09:28:47 · update #1
Sex is a part of a healthy adult relationship, but it is not everything. If you truly love your man, then you have nothing to worry about. Try going away for awhile to some place new, maybe that could get the sparks flying. Try roll playing, it actually works sometimes, you'd be surprised. It's a great sign of his devotion to you that he's being so patient about this problem you are facing, Some women lose a bit of their sex drive the longer they are in a relationship, that does not make you a bad person that these other men turned you on. It is because it was a new experience for you, and you liked it. I am not implying that you don't like being with your man, I'm sure you do, it's just that it's not fresh and new anymore. Just think of some things you can introduce into your love life to stir things up a bit. You don't have to change partners to experience new things. Good luck!
2006-07-12 09:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by outlandsishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are in a pickle. Just start cheating on him and he'll start hating you and then you won't like him anymore and then you can easily get away from him with out wishing you were with him anymore because he'll make your life so miserable. Men can't take cheaters. But it seems some can if they are freaks. I guess you'll never know but in the end, you have to make your own decision. The cheating thing really isn't a good idea, I was just coming up with the obviously wrong answer. Do him a favor and break up. Don' t feel guilty. He'll move on eventually.
2006-07-12 16:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you gone and admitted the truth to yourself...You are no longer into him...If another man excites you to a point that you no longer want to be with your boyfriend it is over...Dont you think??..Why beat yourself in the head daily you are mentally out of the relationship and more than likely end up miserable and possibly cheat on him. I think you have answered your own question..Just be friends with your boyfriend move apart again for a bit but possibly every blue moon try to see if there is enough spark to have casual sex with him. It is just advisable that you dont hurt him or yourself any farther... "Go get you some new Pepa"..LOL J/k anyway advice is well given..Good luck!
2006-07-12 16:35:32 · answer #3 · answered by nuance92551 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to tell you that you're not crazy and not alone. I wish I had a solid answer for it though.
Maybe somehow you can see if your boyfriend can at least brush up on his bedroom skills by doing some research online. And give him more specific directions on how you'd like for him to be. And/or if its a physical attraction thing, maybe you can get him to work out with you and help him set some fitness goals. If you can overcome these tactical hurdles, perhaps over time the situation will be better....wish I knew for sure.
2006-07-12 16:35:31 · answer #4 · answered by ladyblues80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometime you need to spice up your sex and try to keep it new asmuch a you can this is how most people make up for short sex drives..
2006-07-12 16:38:35 · answer #5 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't save yourself till your wedding day, Often sex do get boring and you lose interest! Because there wasn't any commitment there.
2006-07-12 16:31:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lorla 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well....I say openly talk w/him....try new kinky things......I think it's not him ...and it is you ....you need to work on yourself first to be happy....U have to figuare out what u really want frm him....and no you shouldnt leave him...but maybe a break from him would help........
2006-07-12 16:36:25 · answer #7 · answered by marilynfrost69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you've gotta have sex, that will turn you on...
2006-07-12 16:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Peter R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its because i am on your mind
2006-07-12 16:32:04 · answer #9 · answered by monster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋