He is 21, and has a girlfriend and now daughter, he wants to get an HGV licence in order to better him self, although I gave him 5 grand after I gave him part of my inheritance, he wants a motorbike, golfclubs, Subaru, and me to lend him the Grand for his HGV...also doesn't have a house, but points out to me if he has the HGV he can buy the house(after 6 months of been at work)
Am I been taken for a mug or a caring Father, he is 21 we have all been there, I am sure I will appreciate the lesson he is teaching me when I am 60.........................
2006-07-12 09:25:30 · 40 answers · asked by peter_bain2003 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am not French, never will be, just live in this s hole
once a brummie always a brummie
tara a bit
2006-07-12 09:29:36 · update #1
Alistair, that was my Dads nam wanna be adopted ???alastair, he spelt it that way
2006-07-12 09:31:04 · update #2
gamemaster
to pay previous debts
2006-07-12 09:32:10 · update #3
Thanks to everybody for the input, after this I will get him to read all the comments, hopefully he will see I am not his enemy, just someone who cares, his Mom gave in to everything maybe the reason for the way he is.....
2006-07-12 09:50:06 · update #4
Joe what an exellent answer, I suppose I will give in on the condition he pays £50 a month but I wont hold my breath....if I could see my time again condoms are inexpensive..........
2006-07-12 09:55:09 · update #5
Kelly, the way you defend this person who can not pass his thereory test; tells me you must know a person like this, hope he is not your boyfriend.................is this the same kelly who is going to be my daughter in law ?????
2006-07-15 04:29:43 · update #6
what type of idiot slags his son off on ' yahoo answers ' your not fit to be his father if your going to be like that to a complete bunch of strangers.... talk to him not to the people on here...
2006-07-15 02:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This young man is draining you dry, emotionally and financially. But he is still young enough to get his act together. Right now, from what you've said, he's still very immature and unready for responsibility. I understand your dilemma--on the one hand you don't want to give up on him too soon; on the other hand, you don't know if your wasting your money by funding his HGV. It's a tough call. One thing you can do is get him to agree to forgo some of those toys he wants until after he's successfully completed his HGV, and gets a good-paying job. Otherwise no grand for HGV. He has a daughter now and it's time he started being more responsible. Hopefully, all he needs is to build on one little success at a time to get him excited and motivated. You know your son best. If you think he deserves one more chance, give it to him. I'm pulling for you.
2006-07-12 09:45:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to want his cake and eat it. Don't be used by him. remind him he''s a man and If he wants an HGV tell him to sell all the luxury products that he has wasted his money on and live on tins of beans for a year until he builds a work business up. Everyone has to learn the hard way in life. He will appreciate his luxury products more if he buys them himself from his hard earned cash with his HGV.
You've done your job as a father, he is now a man! MAke him be. you have to be cruel to be kind. Also advise him not to play Golf it really spoils a good walk. Only over weight business men and pretend hairdressers play golf!
2006-07-12 09:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being both ungrateful and irresponsible. What has he done with the 5 grand you already gave him? he has a daughter, and so should know that employment, and the responsibility of looking after and providing for his child, comes before all the little luxury's. What happens if he fails his HGV test? do you give him another grand to resit it? Heck NO, Lay the law down, tell him you gave him the 5 grand to help him move on and better his life, and NOT for luxury's, who is going to pay the cost of keeping his motorbike and subaru on the road? let alone provide for his daughter, Good old dad? We all like to help our kids out when times are rough for them, but to be quite frank, he is taking the P*SS. You were generous to give him part of YOUR inheritance, let him pay for his own HGV lessons and test, tell him, he can buy the little luxury's when he has got his HGV licence, after he has provided for his daughter and her mother. they also come before any luxury's.
2006-07-12 09:53:35 · answer #4 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, i have a HGV class one and he will not be able to buy a house within six months. He will need to work for an agency first as he has no experience and these pay less. I got out of the driving game 6 years ago as it is crap hours and you are isolated all the time driving on your own. I now work in a jobcentre and i see the jobs everyday for drivers. they all want experience so it is the agency for him. his age might also go against him as most big companies want their drivers to be 25 or over for insurance. i would tell him to start with a van driving job first to see if he like being out on the road all day first.
hope this helps.
2006-07-12 09:37:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've got a son 24, he is a tosser and I'm sorry to say i think you have one as well,firstly the only licence he is going to get is a 7.5 tonne because the licensing system has totally changed and you have to work your way through 3 tests to get a class 1, secondly if he can a house after 6 months driving i should own at least 15 house's by now < i dint > and be living in minor ca off the rents , sorry mate he is taking you for a mug tell him no i had to with my son have a life for yourself.
2006-07-12 09:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I,m a HGV driver and it does not pay that well, unless you do overseas work and have a class 1 licence.To gain a class 1 licence, a class 2 (rigid) has to be passed first.These will cost about £700-£1000. each.If you decide to pay for his HGV, i suggest you book it and pay for it so you know where youre cash is going. See the ads in the national tabloids.I personally would'nt pay as he has to learn to stand on his own two feet and support his own family.If you keep giving in to him, it's an easy cop out for him.good luck.
2006-07-12 10:09:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In parts your son seems to be living irresponsibly. He is spending a lot of money on things like golf-clubs, Subaru and the motorbike. These do seem to be a bit extravagant when viewed from the standpoint that you have to lend him money to finanace such things.
However, the fact that he has gone for a HGV licence in order to improve his situation and intends to work on that, seems heartening. The fact that he is prepared to work to support his family and you seems to be a good reflection on the man.
As long as he continues to work hard on the HGVs, pays his debt to you off and supports his family and all this spending he is making, then he will be responsible. And for that I am optimistic, I think he will, I think it is always better to think optimistically.
2006-07-12 09:36:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a daughter and his priorities are Motorbike, golfclubs and Subaru?? (I wonder where he gets his values from).
You need to have a talk with him about his responsibilities. It's ok to help him out. I don't think that you should buy him anything-except as a birthday gift, etc. At his age, he should not be asking you to buy him things. Insist that he act like a man and work for what he needs/wants.
Since he is young and has a child, it's ok to let him stay with you while he is making the transition to supporting himself. But, he needs to do his part.
2006-07-12 09:44:54 · answer #9 · answered by limendoz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will only be irresponsible if you allow him to be. He is old enough to learn the value of postponing pleasure. The golf clubs and Subaru can also be bought after 6 months at work...and imagine how much more he will appreciate them after waiting. Anyway if he is trying to get a HGV licence and has a girlfriend and daughter will he have time to play golf??.Our responsibility to our children is to teach them to be responsible!!
2006-07-12 09:36:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're definately a pushover! If he's 21, he needs to grow up, like 2 or 3 years ago! If you're constantly dishing out $ to him then you're just teaching him that it should always be that easy. Teach him if he wants something....he needs to find a way to get it other than asking! Like WORK. He figured out how to get a daughter didn't he? Trust me, HE'LL appreciate that lesson from YOU when he is 60! Keep up like u are now, and you'll be supporting him til he's 60!!!! The last thing my parents bought for me was a pair of shoes in the 8th grade! From that point on I bought my clothes and other necessities myself--even pd. for college without their help. Sure- I thought they sucked for all the times they told me no, but ya know what, I'm a much stronger, appreciative person today because of it. I hate to see parents who sacrifice everything imaginable for their kids and spoil them, cause usually the kid continues to **** on their parents for the rest of their life!!!
2006-07-12 09:34:00 · answer #11 · answered by Jenintn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋