Single woman: if you get married will you change your last name or keep your old one?

Answer 1

These women that are telling you "If you don't change your name I would reconsider the marriage" are such BS! How does deciding not to change your name decide how much you love someone? I think it is them who need to evaulate their relationship if they are petty enough to think that such a thing truely matters.
I am getting married in the winter, and I still am so undecided on this. I don't want to change my last name because I love my last name. My fiance has such a manly last name and I feel like a brute when someone calls me it. But on the other hand I don't not want to be a part of him. I would like it best if he would agree to take my last name as well. We could have each others last names, and we'd both be each other. I can only imagine what you "evaulate your relationship" women have to say about that. I don't agree with this submissive woman thing. This isn't the 1900's. Be who you want to be. Its your identy on the line, not his. You could make your last name your middle name, and take his as a last, or hypinate (sp?), just take his, or you both of you could use the both of them. Or, if you truely can't agree, and he doesn't mind, a lot of people come up with alternative last names. Which I would never personally do, but it is an option. Just do whatever you are comfortable with. If you're not a 100% sure, then its not the right decision. Which is why i'm having such a hell of a time! Good Luck!

Answer 2

Definitely change my last name.

I was originally not going to change my last name (getting married in September) and I had some great reasons... such as:

1.) Work. I have built my reputation and career on my name. And switching would be a pain.
2.) Ethnicity. My future husband and I aren't the same ethnicity, and I don't want to confuse people by having a name where I don't look the part!

But then I realized I was being selfish. And I realized that my life with my future husband means sharing a life together including a name. We have talked about having children, and the last thing I want is my children to ask me why I have a different last name then the rest of the family.

Answer 3

I did not want to change my name because of work and study, I am part way through my PhD so didn't want two names on all my certificates.
I have decided to keep my maiden name for professional reasons as that is how I am recognised in the international community, but for personal reasons I am taking my husbands name. Some people say I being selfish and "breaking tradition" but for us this works.

For something different, when my partners mum remarried both her AND her husband changed names, taking each others as a hyphenated name.

Answer 4

I think I may hyphenate...but I may just change my last name to his. I'm a teacher and it would take about 3-4 years before students, parents, and other teachers would change how they address me (at least that's what I've seen happen with teachers at my school who got married).

Me changing my last name also depends on the new last name. If it sounds weird with my first name I would seriously consider hyphenating.

But above all I would talk it over with my husband and make sure we are on one accord with the issue. It's definitely not worth hurt feelings.

Answer 5

Definitely keep my name. No one marries with the intention of it NOT lasting forever, yet the reality is that multiple marriages are just as likely. Too many of my female friends have had too many problems with school transcripts, professional licences, legal issues, etc, due to having changed names. Why buy a headache? While my social title would of course be Mrs John Q. Doe, my name would remain Kill Y. Television.

BTW, I notice that all the votes in favor of name change are from recently or soon to me married "girls" --- get some mature, experienced opinions before you make a final decision.

Addendum: If keeping one's own name is "selfish" or "not committing to the relationship", then give your intended equal oportunity to be the generous one. Flip a coin: heads you change your name to his, tails he changes his name to yours. He wouldn't expect you to do something he's not willing to do himself, would he?

Answer 6

I changed my name AND kept my old one. Since I had a long maiden name, I kept the old name as a second middle name. That way, I'm becoming part of my husbands family by taking his name, but I'm not abandoning my own family name. And it spares my poor children from having an 18 character hyphenated last name.

Answer 7

In 2 weeks I will take the last name of the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. If I didn't feel that way, I wouldn't marry him. I believe if a woman is set on keeping her maiden name, she needs to reconsider the marriage.

Answer 8

I changed it before I changed out of my wedding dress. My maiden was McDonald. Yes, like the restaurant. I dropped that in a heart beat. Plus when I married my husband I became a part of his family. It's only right that we have the same name.

Answer 9

change my last name,
it is in his honor to keep the tradition of the name and will be a lot less confusing when we have kids !!

Answer 10

At first I always said I would hyphenate my new last with the old, but you never really know until you are put in the actual situation.