I am staying with my mother who I keep asking for help but doesn't ever help me. I have delt with a man who is useless and controlling and cruel. I have had no life in the past 2+ years. I have no job, no car, no money. I am so depressed that I don't want to do anything ever. I can sit all day and think. I don't what to do. I have low self esteem, I don't take care of myself, I barely eat. My son is 9 months old but well taken care of...if it wasn't for him I wouldn't continue sleeping on the floor in my mothers living room with absolutely no privacy. I have no personality or soul anymore. All I ever encounter is negative, ridicuiling feedback. My emotions and thoughts also hold me down. what the hell do I do and how do I get back out there and become that fun, loud happy go lucky person I used to be. I was always happy...no matter what cards I was delt.
2006-07-12 08:44:27 · 14 answers · asked by jammer4207 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
CONGRATULATIONS!! On the first day of the rest of your fabulous life!
Just think of all the opportunities! Look at all your potential! And how great that you get to share this new and exciting time with your son. First of all, you have to remember why you are so incredible. YOU have value. YOU make a difference in someone's world. YOU have dreams and goals that YOU want to pursue. Don't let a little drama step on your soul. You have to respect yourself. Don't ever let anyone keep you from respecting yourself.
Your situation is a tough one. You have to just start hitting the streets - to find a job, to meet new people, to get away from the negativity, to play with your son, etc. It's okay to grieve for losses and even spend a little time feeling sorry for yourself. Get that out there, but then you let it go. You breath in that fresh air and let all that dark, gloomy, gray air that has been holding you down out with the exhale. I know how hard it is to "just do it", so it is very important to remember why you are doing it. So why are you doing it? You can start with, "Because it's MY life."
Practical tips: start your job search online. A lot of employers now accept applications online, so it makes it much easier. Try the website of a college or university near you (if possible). It may be tough to find a car to use, but maybe you can work out a deal with your mom - take her to work and use the car until she gets off. Borrow one from a different friend every time. Even rent one, though I know that can be hard with little money (last minute online rentals can be cheap.) Take the first job that comes along that you can get to every day. It will get you out of the house and get you started. Perhaps you have a friendly neighbor or relative who can watch your son for less than daycare. Check your local resources. There are probably tons of agencies out there who can give you a hand and maybe even a job.
Keep your eye on the prize - your life, your freedom, your happiness, YOU. Getting YOU back. Now is your chance. You either take it and make things happen or you don't. But you have plenty of tough inside you to make it happen. Respect that! Respect who you are and what you have. And kiss and hug that little boy of yours with all your might. He loves you no matter what you do.
This is temporary and it, too, shall pass. It's time to find out what you are made of and it sounds like you're made of a whole lot more than moping around the house. Now you have the chance to LIVE. So TAKE IT.
2006-07-12 09:08:13 · answer #1 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 11⤊ 1⤋
Let me just say that I totally understand your situation... I was 19 though when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter almost 5 years ago. I lived with my parents at the time and I HATED it... they would blow my cell phone up wondering where I was and if the baby was ok and blah blah blah... I kept trying to save money to move out on my own, but I wasn't succesful until Sept. of 2006 when me and my mom got into a huge fight and she literally jumped me while I was holding my daughter in my arms... I moved out and have yet to return. It is hard to be a single mother living on your own and trying to raise a child with out someone there to help, but let me tell you, when there is a will there is a way. You might have to live in a one bedroom apartment for a while just so you can make ends meet or whatever but you do what you need to and as long as you and that child are good then there are no problems. Just take care of you and your baby, its not easy but you do what you need to to survive in this day and age. I support single mothers all the way. I was a single mom for almost 3 years and it is a very hard thing. I pray for the best for you and your daughter...
2016-03-15 23:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, do yourself and your son a favor and get help NOW!!
You need to see a doctor, to get on meds, temporarily, and then get into counseling. A good counselor will help you deal with your past issues, work on self esteem issues, and find yourself again. You will never regret taking this step. It's not an easy road or a quick fix, but if you hang in there, in 18-24 months you should be seeing a huge difference in your life and self from what you see today.
Call a local mental health center, a clinic, do whatever you need to to get the help you need.
I am pulling for you!
2006-07-12 08:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who needs a car? It's summer time...Take yr son and go out for a walk every morning for an hour. That will give you a chance to get out of the house and get some fresh air. You will feel better immediately.
Then make a list of what you want to do..Start with simple things like cooking or putting on lipstick and brushing your hair everyday and make sure you do them.
You will start feeling better when you start doing something and spending energy.
Then start looking for a job. Does not have to be full time..Something to get you out of the house and interact with people again. You will come back home happier.
As for your mom, talk to her outside the house and tell her that you need her help and support to get through this stage and that her criticism is not helping. She will understand.
You have a son who needs you. If you cannot feel the power to do it for yourself, do it for him ok?
You can go to a dr too. He will most probably start you off with a low dose of Xanax and Paxil...Those two will stabilize your mood and help you think better.
Dark days do not stay dark forever...You'll see the sunshine very soon.
Bring a smile to your face...now!:)
2006-07-12 09:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not the only one that goes thru the emotions you may be feeling. And it may seem there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But trust me, there is. Although it could take awhile for you to achive things you need such as a car and your own place, etc. , just keep in mind, to be patient and to start working for each goal. One thing at a time it may take, but if you have faith and dont sit around moping feeling sorry for ones self, there are plenty of resources out there that you can find in yopur area, that may help assist you in bein able toaccomplish a goal. If you do nothing, you will get nowhere. You need to take charge of your life and remember, to try to learn to depend on yourself. I guarantee each issue you get past or worked out will make you feel proud and more ambitious for the next. Make sure you are eating and sleeping well. ( and also speaking to your Dr and or counselor might help.) Good luck
2006-07-12 08:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by tiffani72kmg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that you're having a rough time. 1st congratulate yourself for putting your son's needs before your own, 2nd go to your Dr. tell him/her how you are feeling(LEAVE NOTHING OUT) they will probably get you a therapist & meds(if necessary) Being abused in any form is horrible. Most women stay or go back because they see how devastating it is to be broke & feel helpless, the way you do now. Trust me, things will get better. 2 months after I left my abuser, I found out I had cancer. So, there I was in public housing, on food stamps, living off what little child support the X gave me & I couldn't keep working due to all the tests surgeries...
But I did have what I needed most. Peace of mind that my kids & I were fianlly safe! We're having issues now but that too shall pass.
2006-07-12 08:58:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that you are not happy. I can only tell you to try and look to the future. Your son needs you to be alive and happy for him. You are the biggest influence in his life. You were givin a chance to be a parent, and its up to you to be the best one that you can be. How can you be the BEST when you are so down in the dumps? Find a non-denominational christian church to try. Find a good friend or two to give you support. If you lived in Michigan I would do what I could for you. You just need a chance to get on your feet. However, it looks like YOUR going to have to Make that chance happen. Keep focused on your son, he should be your motivator, and God, if you ask he will provide.
2006-07-12 08:52:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a husband. Straight up. The only way out of the situation you are in, on every level, is for you to find a decent man and marry him. That needs to be your number one priority. Only a decent man, mind you. It will take alot of work on your part, approaching men you like, talking with them to figure out if they are decent or not and then doing everything you can to show them you are worth marrying, despite the incredible negative that you have a child by another man (probably someone who is scum, I might add).
It is the ONLY way. However, you will start to feel better the very second you start working on this. By the time you start dating a decent man, you will feel pretty good. Once you are married and living together, your problems will be solved.
2006-07-12 08:53:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about helping yourself? Get up and go get a job and take care of your son.
Take responsibility for your life. Maybe if you get up and do something, others might be willing to help you. You keep yourself down.
2006-07-12 08:51:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
get to the Dr- they can give you med for depression. Talk to SS office about medicaid for you & baby. They will help you out.
2006-07-12 08:48:21 · answer #10 · answered by Jacey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋