I have an old friend from childhood. In our mid 20's, we were roomates for a year. After she moved out, I talked with her for about 5 times in 7 years. She never returns calls. She never answers the phone. I suggested making plans to get together. We haven't made any plans to get together. She is now having an extravagent wedding & invited me. I am trying to figure out if I should go to this wedding. I am obviously not a very important part of her life at at. In addition, there is a wedding shower, bachelorette party, etc...
2006-07-12 08:21:17 · 21 answers · asked by Amanda80 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I really do feel slighted. I know people are busy, but it really doesn't take much to pick up the phone or get together for dinner onnce in 5-7 years. She doesn't know anything that is happening in my life. At all, and doesn't seem to care that she doesn't know. I really don't think that her inviting me is a gesture to try & get me back in her life. I feel that I probably won't see her after her wedding, as well. I thought that I would attend the shower, but not the wedding. Then send a card.
2006-07-12 08:40:52 · update #1
First of all, thanks for writing your question. I just sent out 130 invites for my wedding... and there are a couple people that I have invited that I haven't seen in years. But they are in my heart and I think of them fondly for the times we have shared. Even though I don't keep in close contact, I feel close to them enough to send them an invitation. I understand that we all live our own lives and that I haven't kept in touch except for the lame Christmas card I send.
Anyway, to get to my point, I would love it if they came, but also totally 100% understand if they didn't even send back the reply card.
My advise to you, is to definitely skip out of the shower and bachelorette party since you don't feel connected to her. An extravagent wedding sounds like fun and may be worth the gift that you have to go pick up for her... Go and have a good time if you don't have anything else to do...
If you decide not to go... I would suggest that you send her a card to congradulate her.
2006-07-12 08:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by ChitChatBrat 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have the similar problem! I used to have this really good friend but the last 5 years we only saw each other twice, once at a wedding and once at a funeral. Now i got an invitation to his wedding......I decided not to go as I don't consider him a friend anymore. I tried to stay in touch (just like you) but he never replied....
Anyway if you don't feel like going, don't go. You can always send a card to congratulate her. That's what I will do. Good luck!
2006-07-12 15:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by Kathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple: go if you want to go. Don't go if you don't want to go.
If you're not part of the wedding party, there's no obligation to go to the wedding shower or bachelorette party if you don't want to. You can simply go to the wedding and bring a small but charming gift, or put a little money in your card to her.
If you don't go, mail her a wedding card with your sincere congratulations and best wishes, but send no gift unless you want to.
BTW, it's possible that she's using this wedding to get back in touch with you after all this time. Consider that.
2006-07-12 15:33:18 · answer #3 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me say to you that my best friend and I have been buddies for almost 12 years now, and we dont talk as often as we should because we both have separate lives to live and we even stay in different parts of the state. I stay in Memphis Tennessee and she stays in Ripley Tennessee. We both have this understanding that we are not going to talk to each other every single day, but sooner or later we will hear from each other. So go to the wedding and support your friend, and be a grown up and let them know how you feel. Please gets this resolved because life is too short to hold a grudge.
2006-07-12 19:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line...She only wants presents and money. Why else would she all of a sudden invite you to all of this. And you are right, she will not be talking to you afterwards, she is going to be to busy with her new husband. I wouldn't even send a card or anything especially since she never returns your calls why return hers? Don't feel bad about it, she didn't feel bad when she didn't call you back. Take your money and go buy yourself a drink!!!
2006-07-12 17:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you want to go? It would be fun but if its all about you and her not having any sort of relationship in the past forever then don't feel obligated. If its a big extravagent wedding I'm sure she won't even notice that your not there. Do you live in the same town? It would probably be fun...
2006-07-12 15:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get busy and get new lives, and sadly it doesn't always leave time for phone calls and dinners. You should call her or send her a note to tell her how you feel- she may not realize you haven't moved on to new friends/relationships like she has.
It doesn't mean she doesn't care. Go to the wedding, but don't expect reunion-length conversation time.
2006-07-12 16:36:51 · answer #7 · answered by logical_centrist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, go to the wedding. You where important enough to be invited. And you have been friends for a long time. It would be rude not to go. Besides it might very well be FUN.
Have a good time.
2006-07-12 15:24:22 · answer #8 · answered by JACK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to go, if so then go. If you don't, don't feel bad and just decline nicely. But remember you were invited if you wasn't important you wouldnt know about the wedding until after its over. So think about that.
2006-07-12 15:39:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her a nice card, but decline the invitation and don't send a gift. You are not obligated to go just as she didn't feel obligated to ever call you or make plans with you. She just wants as many gifts as she can get - don't buy into it. You've got better things to do with your time!!
2006-07-12 15:44:20 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋