he split up with me one day before 19 weeks, now he has another women on the go who already has a 6 year daughter of her own, he said we argued too much. do i let him still have rights to the babe. so confused and need a good answer.
2006-07-12 08:08:29 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is a really tough scenerio. I had a baby and was married and my ex left me when she was 1 yr old. I do not regret having her. I have moved on and she is the light of my life. He is an *** and his life sucks now. He got married again and she played him like an idiot (he got what he deserved)
At least I have her now. I date, I have a life. I do fun things with her. There is hope. I know its going to be tough, but its not the baby's fault his/her father is a horses butt. Hang in there. If you need to talk, contact me!!
2006-07-12 08:15:03 · answer #1 · answered by Lily 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Look, first off, keep the baby, unless you couldn't support it, then find a nice loving couple to adopt. Second, he does have SOME rights to the baby, BUT he will have to pay child support, so you won't be on your own. You can go through a court system, they could set up visitation. If you have any legit reason for him to not be with the child alone, bring it up then. BUT on the other hand, if he would be a good father, don't deny him that right. My boyfriend is on that boat right now. Only, his ex wife is psycho, so it's a different story. She's told the kids lies about him and they have believed them. It's sad, since he really wants to be a part of their lives, but they are old enough to decide if they want to come over, and the courts aren't making it happen. He never sees them, and it hurts.
2006-07-12 08:15:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I presume you made the decision to HAVE the baby to begin with because you felt qualified to undergo the responsibilities it entails.
So why would you consider a late-term abortion because your boyfriend left? What does one have to do with the other? There are many single mothers out there and obviously you must have known that was a possibility when you decided to get pregnant - I mean, he was only your boyfriend and I suspect not a long-term one at that.
Stop treating this baby like a lure or a pawn that is being used against your ex. You should get your priorities straight... this is a real, live baby that will need you to protect him/her, shelter him/her and love him/her unconditionally.
You seem to be acting very selfish right now, I suspect you are threatening an abortion to "get back" at your ex.
You chose to become a mother... now pony up and start acting like one!!! Would you seriously be so selfish and cruel to abort a late-term baby because your boyfriend left you? Give me a break! Get your head on straight, girl. You need to grow up quickly and starting learning how to care about something (your baby) more than yourself.
2006-07-12 08:20:43 · answer #3 · answered by lily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's a good idea for you to keep the baby. it's not yours or the babie fault that the father did this, and they deserve the chance at life. if you don't feel like you can handle the baby financially or even emotionally, you can always put it up for adoption. there are so many great couples out there who can't have children that could give your baby a wonderful home and life. if you decide to keep the child, and you want it to have a father, you two could share joint custody. but, if you're scared for your babie's safety with your ex-boyfriend, make sure that you have full custody.
i feel strongly at giving your baby a chance at life, because my mom got pregnant with me in college when she was unmarried. if she had gotten an abortion, i wouldn't be here today. you never know how much potential your baby will have. and even though it's a fetus, it can still feel pain. and abortions are terrible pain and torture for their little bodies.
2006-07-12 08:19:39 · answer #4 · answered by tralala_chelsea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are to far along to have a abortion....but why would you not want to have something that is a part of you..think about the baby not the *** that left a pregnant woman..how old r u? i think having a baby is a beautiful thing i have two and i just had a miss carriage..i never thought that would happen to me ...i believe if you have an abortion you would probably regret it for the rest of your life..just stay healthy enjoy life ..you will never have to be alone again..good luck with the little bundle of joy..
2006-07-12 08:19:06 · answer #5 · answered by cutietraci87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is totally your choice but I know from experience that you will never forget it.You will always remember the due date.You will always look at your other children you have in the future and think about it.I have also had the experience in raising a child being a single parent.It was actually a growing and learning time for me and made me stronger as a person.I also learned I can take care of myself and children with or without a man.I now have a wonderful husband and 2 cildren and I am also raising his 2 children from a previous marriage.My ex is remarried with no children living with him and miserable.I also might add he has begged me back numerous times.
2006-07-12 08:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by sashaaspen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5mths already, i think you can feel her/him move. Do you think you have the heart to abort it. I watch a documentary last week, it show how the doc remove the bb from yr body. it was so scary and that is when i know that that's how the abortion is like. i once think of abort my 2nd bb cos my 1st bb is oni 5 mths old and i'm looking after him myself. i have a very bad morning sickness with the 2nd one and i can't really do much and was very upset, angry ..etc. But in the end i just go ahead and keep the bb. if i have abort it at that time i think i will not be the same happy mummy now. my gal is 9mths liao and she is so cute.
If you can talk to your parents and see how they can help you. Pls think twice before you do anything. ok.
2006-07-16 20:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by 7kiki6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A baby to the world is a new born life. Even though you may be the mother of the baby, I think you dun have the right to take away his/her life.
Ask yourself if you want your bf to know that you have given birth. Do your family know about this issue? I think their morale support is the most important in your case. You are confused at this moment coz you are lost and you dun know what to do. Take sometime think over what you can do for yourself and the baby. I am not clear with your current situation, so I can't provide much advice to you.
2006-07-12 18:32:31 · answer #8 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's already 5 months, the foetus already form. Would you still want to go ahead with abortion? I had made 1 mistake before and does not end up good for me & my then bf. It ruin my entire life and that mistake will still haunt me. If he can leave u for a "buy 1 get 1 free", I don't see the reason y 1 day a kind soul can accept you and "get 1 free". If you ex came back to you.... tell him to go to xxll!
2006-07-12 15:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would never have a abortion because my bf left me. first of all honey it is sad but true. he is the biological father and he will have rights to the child whether you like it or not. this is his loss. you may just be a single mother but hey you sound so young and you and your baby will have a lot to live for. when your baby is born you will wonder how you ever thought of abortion in the first place. sounds like this guy is a fool and maybe it is better to be without him. just remember you and your baby deserve happiness and you will find it one day. it is not about you anymore it is about the wellness of the child. he seems unstable anyways!! i know it doesnt seem like that right now for you and you are scared but hey i know you will look back on this!! write back in three years.
2006-07-12 08:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by Caligurll28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have an abortion. I think a woman should be married before she has a child. also if this is a plus i had one after our first child because i knew the marriage wasn't going to work. And after that I would send him the paper work with a note "good riddens" really.
2006-07-12 08:22:54 · answer #11 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋