Terribly sad and frustrated...?

Question

I have been posting so many questions regarding my son & his fussiness & let me tell you being a parent is the HARDEST thing ever! I guess as a mother I just wish everything was black & white, when he fussed I could fix it immediately, but I get scared about the fussing because what if something IS actually wrong even the dr says nothing is. He will be SOOO good for like a long period of time on some days he wont even fuss once and he's like an angel then other days its from the moment he gets out of his crib until the moment he goes to bed (and he always has the same sleep schedule so its not because hes tired) but lately he has had some diarhea and diaper rash from that, and he doesnt want to eat much, when you pick him up he pushes away, when you put him down he clings to my leg for dear life, he pushes his toys and his sippy cup away, but he sleeps great at night and most people say if they're sick they wont sleep thru the night. I just feel like I should be helping him, but how

Answer 1

Well, not knowing how old he is...I'm going to have to say that it could be teething. Try giving him a cold wash-rag, or whole carrots that are cold, some really tough beef jerky, or ice water in a bottle or sippy cup (whichever he gets). Also, baby orajel works wonders!!

You know, maybe he's just a fussy baby. They each have different personalities. I suggest to you though, to have at least a couple of days a week with him spending the day at a babysitters, family member, or daycare. It sounds like you are very stressed out, and he can feel that you're stressed. Some time apart will be good for you both. Of course, I don't know your situation, but you need time for yourself also.

Answer 2

"being a parent is the HARDEST thing ever!"

AMEN to that!

With the first baby, it's difficult because not only are you adjusting to your new role in life, you are learning about parenting in general and your child in particular. It's very overwhelming in all kinds of ways, and it's not always a happy experience, even though people kind of expect you to act like it is.

I remember being in a different space when I had my daughter than I ever was since, and it helped a lot. I would take a step back, and just go to a place of curiosity, inquistiveness, and discovery. I remember putting myself in her place, and really asking myself how it feels to be a baby, and tried to respond from there - not from the perspective of a parent who is doing everything "right" and wondering why the child isn't responding accordingly. Wish that was as easy at 6 as it was in babyhood!

Generally, your baby wants to be with you - they're hard-wired for being close to mom at all times, so even if he's pushing you away, try not to take it that way. They literally feel like they are part of you, especially since they don't recognize the boundaries between themselves and others yet. So when thye're upset, they lash out in all directions. This is also helpful to know, because it flows both ways. When you get upset, he'll take it on as if it were his own emotion. So practice just letting it go when he fusses, and stay connected...it's really tough, but in the end it feels better for you both. And please don't be hard on yourself. It wastes your precious energy and puts you in a place of feeling ineffective.

Weighing in on the medical issue: I have a tendency to take the advice of traditional doctors with a heaping dose of skepticism. They are trained to solve major problems with big intervention, usually by treating symptoms. If you are concerned about a change in behavior, and discomfort, I would look for a good Naturopathic doctor. These people are trained to find the *causes* of various maladies, and treat the whole person, rather than just fix the symptom du jour. For instance, if your baby has fussy spells and diarrhea, they would likely test for food allergies. The inflammation from even minor food allergies can make a baby generally miserable.

Good luck - you're learning as much right now as you did when you were a baby, so give yourself a break - and a pat on the back!

Answer 3

"Being a kid is hard. Sometimes I want the comfort of mommy and don't ever want you to let me go, but other times I want to do my own thing. I want to explore and see what will happen if I pull the cat's tail. There are all these new experiences and sounds. When my routine gets messed up, it makes me mad. And sometimes I just need to cry to relive some stress. But I'm not worried Mommy. I know that you have my back. And I have Daddy and Grandpa and Grandma that love me. This world is confussing, but with your help, I know that I can figure it out." Trevor, 10 months old.

Answer 4

First off how old is your son? From the sounds of it with the diarrhea and rash he could be teething and that would make him fussy no matter what time of day and how much sleep he has had, it could also be the reason he doesn't want to eat or drink and is so temperamental.

Answer 5

Take him to the Doc. Asap. they don't think you are an overprotective parent.It sounds to me there might be something wrong and if that don't work take a look at his home life and find out if anything is possible stressing him out. If so stop it and also getting him flashcard to learn words so he can tell you whats wrong. They can start about 6 months to 3 year and you are the only one who can teach him these thing. It is very frustrating not to be able to communicate your needs to the one who you know love you and will help you handle your need.

Answer 6

Amber M, do you have anyone helping you out with your little one? You sound terribly alone and sad. Can you call a mom or friend or sister to come give you a break? You are so stressed and you need to breathe and let go of some of this worry. Everything will be alright.

Answer 7

check out ericka r's answer to your "what to do with my son" question. it's a good answer.i definitely think you need a close mom friend who has a child your son's age. they can play, you can talk.

and also, he's still learning how to communicate. it sounds like if something were truly wrong - like his tummy or his ear hurt or he was teething again - he's old enough to point to it or hold it. if he's wanting something or hurting, try consistently using the phrase "show me". to help him learn what "show me" means, you can ask him to show you specific things, like a picture of grandma or a truck. then when he's hurting or wanting something, he'll know how to show you.