What is the general consensus on children sleeping in bed with their parents? Good? Bad? Positve? Negative?

Question

Does sleeping in bed with the parents give children more self-confidence or less independence?

Answer 1

up to 3 trs its good......3-4 its ok.....after 4 its bad

Answer 2

It is an overall bad idea to let the children sleep with their parents.
1.) In an infant, it is a high risk factor for crib death or SIDS.
2.) It is very easy to roll over and smother or injure a child.
3.) It is extremely hard to break the children of this habit.
4.) It does tend to make them less independent.
5.) They may acquire a phobia of sleeping alone.
6.) It will kill your love life.
7.) It is just not a good idea to put a child in a bed with a man and woman who are used to sleeping together. It is just inappropriate.

If your child is an infant and you are wary about it sleeping alone, use a bassinet that has the feature to lower one side so that it is adjacent and even with the bed. That way you can just roll over and check on the child, cuddle some, but the baby isn't in the same bed.

Answer 3

I think it depends on the age of the child. My daughter slept in her own crib after a year old, and my son is two and still is in our bed almost every morning when i wake up. He falls asleep as do us all, then at some point gets up and wants to snuggle, which is fine. Kids need to know that there is always a warm place with their parents that they can be when they are young. Even if it is the bed.
However i do think that if my five year old came in to snuggle she would get put right back into her bed, because she's just too old and needs to learn independance.
Probably the inapropriateness of understanding mommies and daddies parts would be the line agewise. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

wow, I am surprised at the number of negative answers on here! Most of the time, I see moms who utilize the practice staunchly defend their positions when I see a question like that. So, for my 2 cents worth, here are my views:

1. Do babies NEED independence? Nope! They need self-confidence, which IS often achieved by having their needs met.

2. While our culture frowns on it, it is the norm in other cultures (especially in countries like Japan and Korea), and their kids don't grow up warped.

3. It is a personal decision, and as long as BOTH parents are in agreement, it shouldn't matter.

4. You might have trouble getting the 2-year old to sleep in his/her own bed, but to some people, it's worth the feeling of security their child has. Again, both parents should agree for how long co-sleeping should last.

5. It makes night time feedings waaayyyy easier!

Those are some of the positive aspects I thought I would throw in since the negative ones were presented so strongly. There are both positives and negatives to co-sleeping, so if it is what you want to do, go for it (as long as both partners agree)!

Personally? My bed feels small enough right now, so I am using a basinet that is parked right NEXT to the bed. I can just lean over and pick up my daughter whenever I want, but she doesn't get used to getting to hug mom or dad whenever she rolls over. She gets the security of getting held whenever she cries and I get the convenience of not having to walk all over the house for a nighttime feeding. I will probably put her in her own room when she is 6-12 months old and has the security of knowing that her needs will be met. That is my compromise.

Answer 5

My boys sleep in our bed. I know a lot of people frown on it, but I love snuggling them. Besides they will grow up soon enough and why not get as much snuggle time in while they still want too. My boys are both independent and very self confidant. I think it is a descion you must make for yourself. I have told my boys that when they turn 5 they have to sleep in their own bed and I remind them about once a week. It is getting close to that time and they seem to be okay with it. But like I said, enjoy it while you can.

Answer 6

We've had a very good experience with the family bed. My oldest is four and had sleep issues as an infant. I started sleeping with him just so I'd get some sleep. My husband wasn't to keen on it in the beginning. Now he loves the quiet family time as much as the rest of us. He wishes he had it with his two from his first marriage. His bond is MUCH stronger with ours. We have had one more since and it's been a great bonding tool for all of us. We spend an hour before lights out in bed together reading, talking and or watching family TV. Most times my 2 year old falls asleep in the middle of it. She stays up in the big bed. My four year old likes having his own bed but would still rather fall asleep with us. So after he's asleep he's moved to his own bed. It works for us.

Answer 7

My son slept in the bed with us and I never saw it as a bad thing.

Sharing a bed has nothing to do with them being independant or self confident, that comes from having parents that encourage them.

My son is eight and he has always been strong, independant and very confident in things he does. He has his moments in new situations where he's not totally comfortable (but I have moments like that and I am a grown up!) but he jumps right in with both feet and does well.

You need to follow you gut, whatever you think is right and not worry about what other people think or say, remember this is YOUR family, not theirs.

Answer 8

Depends what you want, I think it is a terrible idea. There is no way I would suggest it as it will only lead to hearache later when the child eventually has to go to her own bed. As for independence and self confindence, a parent can achieve more talking to their child, singing (yes, this is the best thing for self-confidence) and lots of time spent with the child. The bed thing, no way

Answer 9

My daughter is very independent. She's 5 1/2, and sleeps in her own bed. If she wakes up in the night, though, sometimes she'll crawl in bed with me, especially if there's a storm. I don't make a big deal out of it either way, because I want her to be able to come in if she's scared or not feeling well. I don't encourage her to sleep in my bed, she doesn't start out there, and she goes to sleep in her own bed just fine, so I don't worry about it.

Answer 10

Definitely bad, when are the parent supposed to have alone time? Children need to learn to sleep in their own beds and if you never let them sleep anywhere else then that's what they'll do. I can't believe this is even an issue. Who in their right mind wants their kid sleeping with them?

Answer 11

My son slept with us until about age 5. He will still crawl in every now and then. I can assure you there is no more outgoing and independent boy than my son. (sometimes way TOO independent) I would've preferred to wean him a little earlier just because it's hard when they get bigger to sleep with all those folks in the same bed. But the people who tell you that it will damage them psychologically are making a mountain out of a molehill.