In 2001 my Mom passed away from cancer. Till 2004 i was so worried about my dad dying also that I could not sleep.
If my dad went to bed first there was no way I could sleep.
I would worry that he would die in his sleep like my mom did.
So I would creep out of bed and stand beside his bed and listen to him breathing. Sometimes I could not hear it and I would panic and stand beside his bed until I did.
Last week he had an operation and that fear i had returned. My dad is 80 and I know that he will die someday.
But I still worry so much now that I have started having panic attacks and nausea.
I just can't stand the thought of him dying.
Is there anyone else who has dealt wiith this?
Worrying this much about a parent after one passed away?
And how can I deal?
Thank you
2006-07-12 07:50:24 · 10 answers · asked by Martha M 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have talked with my dad about it and he says he fine with dying. That he hates to leave me but...it somethig that everybody does. 80 is a good long time to live.
I don't worry about myself dying i just worry about the people i love.
I really don't have any family to talk with after he does die. My sisters live in Hawaii and I'm in Georgia.
They didn't even attend mom's funeral!
My dad told me that after he does die they will try to take the house, so he had it signed over to me. But he says don't even let them in the house when he goes.
My father is the only family I really have.
But thanks for the answers so far. i do fell better just by getting this out.
2006-07-12 08:03:14 · update #1
First I would suggest finding a support group, a therapist or at the very least...a close friend with whom you can talk about your feelings. It's hard to face the fact that our parents...the ones who brought us into this world, taught us right from wrong and loved us even when nobody else did...will someday die. They are our heros and in our mind they are immortal. But sadly, that's not the way life works. I am sorry you have been having such a hard time. My heart sincerely goes out to you. Perhpas it would help if you thought of it this way....all of the time you're spending worrying over your dads future death is being wasted. Why not use that time instead to be with him, enjoy his company, earn from him, listen to his stories, love him. That way you will both be making the best out of the time you have together plus someday when he does pass over he may not be here in body but will live on in spirit because you will have all of those wonderful stories and words of wisdom to pass down to future generations for him. Best of luck to you and I hope you soon find that calm and peace inside you need and are looking for.
2006-07-12 08:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by silent.peace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about you loss! That is very hard to deal with when someone dies but u have to stop worrying like u said that your dad will die someday so enjoy the time u still have and try not to concentrate on him dying. At 80 he is getting up there in age and dying is a fact of life for everyone and he has had a full life. I know what might help if u discuss your concern with your father because he can shed light on the way he feels about dying and i really do not think he would not want u worrying where it is making u sick! Most older people are very ready and prepared for death so it might help you understand what he feels about all of it.
2006-07-12 07:57:33 · answer #2 · answered by jibbers4204 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray about it hun.
All the worrying in the world will not change one thing.
God is in control.
Enjoy the time you have with him now or you will regret that you didn't while you could. Yes, he will pass. But right now he is there and he loves you. Take him out with you and do things together. Make memories that will last for the rest of your life. So you can look back at them when he is gone instead of looking back at all the time you missed worrying. Live!
If he can't get out, go to him and read to him, play games with him or just sit and talk. Ask him questions that you have never asked him.
Grasp this time. Laugh, love.
Ask him how he feels about his salvation. What are his beliefs. If he is saved and you know he will be with the Lord then there is nothing to worry about. Pray together. You will learn something new about him and maybe yourself. Cherish the time. You don't know if YOU will be alive tomorrow.
Accidents happen. You both will be in my prayers.
God bless,
Heather
2006-07-12 08:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by HEATHER 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this sound to formila to me my mom pass away 8years ago and it is still feels like yesterday to me my mom was killed by a drunk driver and that mad me start worrying about everything even when i would go out with my kids i would think the worst and til this day i still do my husband has to tell me everything is going to be OK be for i do anything but what i feel helps me always say alittle prayer be for you go out or be for you do anything i mean yes you will still feel it sometimes but when it comes on talk to god he is there to listen.
2006-07-12 08:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by the shy one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear you have such anxiety and fear. It's an understandable reaction although somewhat extreme. I think it would be helpful to you to contact a mental health professional to discuss your anxiety and also perhaps locate a support group.
I sincerely hope this helps and wish you all the best...
2006-07-12 07:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by WhyAskWhy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, noone lives forever I'm afraid and yes your Dad will pass someday. So will you. You need to accept this and appreciate that you have him now and make wonderful memories! I'm sorry to sound harsh but we can't keep our parents. It's a horrible truth!
2006-07-12 08:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by amylr620 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be mean, but in case you missed the memo, your life is about you. Get over all the BS and all the hold ups and enjoy your life as it is. You get one shot at this and that is it. Being depressed will not help. Get soome hobbies and be happy.
2006-07-12 07:54:13 · answer #7 · answered by billyandgaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best suggestion would be to find a support group... many hospitals (I work in one) have support groups or can put you in contact with a support group that can help you work on your anxiety and loss issues... Good Luck and sorry to hear about your Mom!!!
2006-07-12 07:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your dealing with a form of post-traumatic stress disorder. My best advice for you is to seek out professional help like a therapist.
2006-07-12 08:00:01 · answer #9 · answered by Risika Desaunt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get an at home nurse who will take care of him i got the same thing for my dad he is fine and i dont have to worry about him when im out it will be a good thing for you and him
do u agree
2006-07-12 07:56:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋