I've visited the funeral of my sisters' best friends' mother. She was only 52. Cancer. The family are devestated. How long does the whole "grieving process" take? Is there a standard process or does it differ from person to person? Please only serious answers. Thanks.
2006-07-12 07:45:24 · 43 answers · asked by Melok 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
There is no set time on grieving process. Each circumstance is different and the age of the deceased and how they died can make it more difficult. Each person handles death in different and personal ways. Only time and prayer can heal.
2006-07-12 07:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by yeppers 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The simple answer is.. it depends.
For example, different people grieve at different rates which may or may not depend on:
* their relation to the deceased
obviously the closer you are the longer it could take - so I'd grieve longer for my mother than for my long lost Aunt Fanny
* how long they knew the deceased
similar to the above - friends I've just met rank lower than my lifelong girlfriends or close family
* what the circumstances surrounding the death were
Was it an accident? Is there someone to blame? This can help, but it can also just mean sadness turns to anger.
* how long they had to say goodbye
If you know someone has about a week left you can prepare yourself better than if you are expecting someone to be still here in a couple of years. Also, if you've known for example that somone is dying of cancer and had a year or so to deal with this, it's theoreticaly less of a shock
* whether it was expected / unexpected, imminent / out of the blue
kinda self explanatory
* where they are emotionally at this point - are there other stresses in their lives they've having to cope with
Are they in a supportive relationship? Are they having work problems? Are there other worries in their lives that they've having to deal with? All of these are important.
The long and short of it is that it varies from person to person and circumstance to circumstance, but to put some crude figures on it:
- a school friend of mine died and I could move on after the funeral
- my father died when I was a teenager and it took maybe a month or so before I stopped thinking about it all day every day
- my grandparents dying also knocked me for six for about a month
That's not to say I'm not still sad about these things, but I'm getting on with life (as I think you have to) and not dwelling on their deaths.
I like the saying: you can move on but you never forget
2006-07-12 07:56:48 · answer #2 · answered by MRSA+ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no time limit on grieving, every person is different, i think that birthdays, anniversarys, xmas etc, are usually the worst. I suppose some days are better than others, its like two steps forward and three steps back. Some people cant see light at the end of the tunnel, after about a year, if grieving is still interfering with everyday life, i would consult a doctor.
2006-07-12 10:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has been my experance that it depends on how close you were to the person who has passed on. Also just when you think the grieving process is over the first holiday comes up and it starts all over again but not as bad. Things such as holidays the persons birthday, certain odors,etc. are known as " triggers " and will start you to thinking about the person who has passed. This person was 52 unborn or very young grand childern will not have a grangmother in there life and this will cause the childern of this woman to start to grive and miss there mother, when the grandchildern get old enough to ask one of the many questions childern ask Why dose my freinds have a grandmother and I do not?.I know all to well about this subject because I have been thru this myself. I hope this helps
2006-07-12 08:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It varies from person to person.
You can chart a “standard” practice, but it really depends on how long each individual decides to spend on it.
Some folks are OK after a few days, other take a few weeks or months, and then there are some who focus their entire lives on the loss of a loved one – these are the folks who will create a shrine to the person – by leaving their room just the way they left it, or put up pictures all around them, or talk about the person, and how much they are missed almost constantly. These are obviously not healthy grieving processes – but it happens – frighteningly often.
How long it takes is different from person to person, and has a lot to do with how each person decides to deal with it, and weather or not they decide to accept the loss.
2006-07-12 08:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by ***** 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is different for everyone a lot depends on how close you were to the person who died. Also it depends on the age of the person who died, how they died and had they had a good life, lived it to the full. If they died young and had lots of life left to live you also feel cheated which adds to the grief. My mother died 23 years ago, I suppose I seriously grieved for a couple of years gradually the pain eases and memories take its place, good memories and over the years it gets better. She was my best friend I still miss her and I suppose now I think about it I still grieve from time to time . It will get better but it will take time.
2006-07-12 09:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by Dolly Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone copes with death differently - to how they cope with grieve and how long it takes for them to come to terms with what has happened.
Some people many not even start the grieving process till after the funeral.
2006-07-12 07:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by Tara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are stages of grieving that everyone goes through...people take different amounts of time to go through each stage and it takes varied amounts of time...There isn't anything anyone can do to hurry this process except be supportive and be patient and to not think that just because a period of time has passed the person should be getting over their loss.....they have to have a natural progression through....Shock.....numbness denial anger and finally acceptance....Sometimes grieving is continuous but with acceptance comes the ability to move on with life and accept the loss but it stays with you..
2006-07-12 07:52:33 · answer #8 · answered by Curious77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grieving process is not standard, it depends on how much the person was involved with the departed. The closer you were to that person the harder it is. But just be there for your sister and the friends you have. God bless
2006-07-12 07:50:52 · answer #9 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different... The way i see it - it was a terrible way to go - but at least she has peace! She wouldnt want people to grieve for too long - get on with your own lives! Dieing at 52 should be a wakeup call - Life is too short - Live it...
Give everyone time - everyone deals with these things in a different way.. Only time can make things better..
2006-07-19 03:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by want_to_explore_life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very different for everyone. This being a young person to die will make it very hard for all concerned and you may find the grieving hasn't even started in earnest yet. Everyone has different coping strategies and it's best to let them sort this out for themselves as it is such a personal process. Be supportive and think of yourself too.
2006-07-12 07:49:57 · answer #11 · answered by Thinker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋