Advice on children and their private bits?!?!?!?

Question

I have a five year old daughter who like to rub her private area. Quite alot, she says it's relaxing. Sometimes she rocks herself on her hands. The problem is it makes her smell, she gets all hot and sweaty and I don't know if it is normal for her to be doing it. I know boys play with their dinkles all the time but she is my little lady.

Please can I have serious answers and advice. Nothing nasty as thats just wrong.

Answer 1

It is normal . . . doesn't make a differents whether they are boys or girls . . . .

I recently took my son to the doctor, this past monday. Because of an irritation . . . and she told me that this is normal . . . actually girls are exploring themselves more than boys, nowadays.

Thing is . . . you need to talk to your daughter about it . . . be honest. You know girls are experimenting with sex (usually with other girls) before they are teenagers. I know 5 years old . . . is young . . . but you need to train them properly before they are set in their ways . . . and become pregnant at 13. If I were you . . . I would probably wait maybe another 4 to 5 years before actually having that conversation.

But what your daughter is doing . . . is completely normal . . . she is still a little lady because she really doesn't know what she is doing.

Answer 2

I agree with a few points already made, tell her that big girls don't do that, and if she continues, make her take it someplace private. Keep in mind that just because she's 5 and not 2, doesn't mean that part of her doing it is because she knows it bugs you. Definately keep the negativity out of your voice, be patient and Consistent. If you are going to reward her for not doing it, reward her Every time you notice she has made a real effort to stop. If you plan to focus her attention on something else, when you see her doing it, say something like "Hey, wanna read a book with me?" or along those lines before she can get into it good. If you plan to make her go to her room, say it in a neutral tone, not mean, but not happy either, and make her go Every time. You may also want to put her in a playgroup with other girls so she can see for herself that other girls don't do that sort of thing. Hope I helped.

Answer 3

Id go with the others and talk to a peadetritian expert on kids... May also be a good time for a sex ed lesson so she gets whats going on...

Young kids actually take it on better then teenagers as oh so thats where babies come from ok, so thats whay boys and girls are different, how do cars work and planes fly kind of thing.


No more then that... but year get some advice as it may be a symptom of something else.

Answer 4

You seem to have a fairly decent set of advice already as I see it, but I just would like to add that at 5 years old, your daughter is probably examining her body as much as receiving any form of pleasure from it, and therefore although normal it is expected that it is done privately.

If you were to imagine this were a son instead you would probably be more pragmatic and laugh it off and say it were something boys did, but you would also inform him that you shouldn't touch yourself in public and only do so in private. I would suggest applying the same logic.

I hope this helps (mother of a 6 year old boy)

Answer 5

I would try to let her know that she should do thing like that in private. I have boys and they have gone through phases like that my oldest is 5. Try not to embarrass her but let her know she should maybe wait til she is alone to do that. It is part of a child development but make sure you always try to talk to he about her body and things as she grows. My friend has to girls she said her daughter has also. They are curious about there bodies remember they are learning about everything even some things Don't we might think they are to young for. The person after me wrote to punish her. I don't agree with that at all then she will have a whole other problem some day. When it comes to marriage and a spouse she might think sexual things are wrong all together. I'm not saying encourage it, But talk to her about it.

Answer 6

here's the deal - does it feel good to you when you get "rubbed" - well it feels good to her too -

I don't think you need her to see a Dr - but I would talk to her about the "smell" problem - something like, "Honey, I know it's relaxing when you rub your (whatever word you use for her private parts) have you noticed a smell when you do it? And it seems like you get all hot and sweaty...What do you think you should do about that?"

That way it's OK - no big deal...but you DO have her deal with hygiene!!!

My "little lady" is 2 1/2 and she rubs herself from time to time - it FREAKS OUT her father - but heck, so do the credit card bills - it's all a part of life!!!

Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Some little girls do that, my maid's little girl did it aswell as some other girls I've met.
What you could do is "replace" the comfort it gives her by giving her something else, my niece finds it relaxing being with a blanket, so somehow you should try to make her find some other ways to relax, and if she's doing this often be careful, and try to wash her private area often, and keep it clean, if I were you I'd ask her pediatrician or a dr about it, just to make sure everything is ok
Good Luck

Answer 8

Your daughter is learning about her body, in my opinion. There is an article aboout toddler masturbation. http://www.drgreene.com/21_606.html read that, it might help you out with your problem. Quoting the article, "My advice is not to try to stop this normal part of development".

"If the genital play becomes and remains a consuming passion, I would look for and address underlying reasons, rather than trying to stop the behavior. Is the child tense and in extra need of self-comforting? Are people overreacting and thus reinforcing the habit? Is there a chronic, low-grade urinary tract infection or yeast infection? Is the child overstimulated and needing to soothe himself to withdraw? Is she understimulated and bored? Dealing with the cause will bring the behavior back to a level of enthusiasm that doesn't take away from other interests.

If you feel that the genital play should be reigned in a bit, then I recommend that when you see it happening you pretend to ignore what he is doing. Try to distract him with some new, engaging activity. Be as nonchalant as you can manage to be. (Rushing over out of breath is not subtle!) You want to communicate by your actions that he and his body are okay, but that there is also a whole world out there to discover and enjoy.

Directly trying to get toddlers to stop touching themselves is a battle you cannot win. You can't just put the objects of their attention up on a high shelf out of reach. If you actively discourage kids from self-exploration, or if you punish them for "masturbating," then genital play becomes a forbidden fruit.

Two things happen when something becomes a forbidden fruit. The fruit will be tasted when the opportunity arises, and people will hide what it is they have done. They will feel the need to be "semi-anonymous." This shameful hiding is the one outcome you don't want to produce.

All too quickly, our little ones will launch out on the turbulent seas of true adolescence. Only if we have maintained open communication and mutual respect can we offer any".

I hope I helped.

Answer 9

hi ,I have 2 girls and both have gone through this stage though a little younger than this ..
Without too much fuss or making a big deal out of it ,just say
"Leave your bits alone honey and come and help me ..eg garden ,tidy clean,paint,etc distraction usually works.Stop her before she gets too sweaty and tell her that her hands smell like her bottom and thats not a good thing.
Smile ,be kind about it and find her things to do so she isnt bored and it becomes a really obsessive habit.
kind regards ,

Answer 10

hi yeah i myself have a daughter at 5 when she was a little younger she would of touched her self there but i just told her off every time i seen here at her self personally i would put a stop 2 yr daughter doin it now before it gets worse keep distracting her with something every time u see her touch in herself i.e. with her favourite teddy bear r doll!!! and 4 it being normal i think she has gotten herself in 2 a habit and it needs a stop put to it good luck hope u get it sorted out.