My dad just found out he has a brain tumor... HELP PLEASE?

Question

My dad found out that he has a 3 INCH TUMOR in the right side of his brain. This is devastating for our entire family, especially since we have 2 babies at home and a 14 year old daughter (me). Anyway, I've been googling it and haven't had much luck since we don't know what kind it is yet. Also everything is so confusing...

Can somebody just tell me whats going to happen? Is life ever going to be normal for us again? My dad is turning 45 next week. I know a 3 inch tumor is really big, but is it really fatal? You always see people on TV that have cancer but you never think it will happen to your family. BTW, we don't know if it is cancerous or not yet, since he is still being tested.

He has already had an MRI yesterday morning. He has had other tests too but I'm not sure of the name. He has been transported to Winston-Salem Baptist Hospital. I know most of you don't live in NC, but if you do, do you have any info on that hospital?

Here is an update on my dad-

He had his surgery this morning- it took longer than expected, about 3 or 4 hours. My mom called from the hospital about an hour ago and said he is doing good. He was awake and she talked to him. The doctors only removed about 60 percent of the tumor. I don't know if that is good or not.. I guess the rest will have to be removed a different way. Hopefully he can come home soon, I don't know. My dad is really optimistic, which is really helping me. Hopefully I can come see him sometime next week, since the hospital is an hour away from my house. They still don't know the grade of the tumor and if it is cancerous or not, they won't know that until Tuesday or Wednesday. Thanks for all your answers!

Answer 1

You sound like a really nice girl. I LOVE that your question is filled with the words "we" and "us". You must be an awesome daughter.

Your dad and mom are probably in shock just like you. I'm 52 years old and if this happen to me, I know I'd be in shock. Being an adult gives us some wisdom, but we still feel and can still get rattled.

Based on your question, I'd say that you don't know anything that is really useful at this time. (It's not your fault. If their doing MRIs, it means they don't know either.) So, don't get anymore upset than you are already. Don't make yourself feel worse by assuming the worst.

For right now, here are some suggestions.

1) It sounds like you are starving for facts, that you hate uncertainty. So, ask you mom and dad if you can participate in the briefings from the doctor(s). You might here things you don't like, but at least you'll know.

2) Whenever you feel like it, tell your dad that you love him, and that you are really glad that he's your dad, and that you're proud of him. (Your mom should tell him similar things.)

3) Offer to help out as much as possible with the babies or with housework. (It sounds like you love the babies a lot.) Don't wait to be asked, just do the things that you can see are needed and that you know how to do. This will give your mom and dad some time to be together.

4) If you believe in prayer, now is the time. If you do pray, you already know what you want to say to God.

5) You sound like a really good kid, but be as well-behaved as possible for as long as you can. You don't want to create any additional worries. It will be a wonderful act of love if you can do this.

6) Your needs are important, too. Ask your parents to include you in their discussions when they can. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need.

Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad; that is a devastating blow. While I don't have any personal experience, I do have a great deal of compassion for you. What I would do is find out everything I could about the type of tumor it is (I know it's in his brain, but there are different kinds of tumors and some grow faster than others) and then I would research it online to educate myself about it as much as possible. Knowledge is better than being in the dark even if it's something you wish you didn't know. I will pray for your dad and wish you the very best for a good outcome in this situation. They are able to operate with great success in many instances so don't give up hope and try your best to keep a positive attitude especially when you're around your dad. It would probably be a good idea for you to talk with someone that can help support you in this time of need. As much as your dad needs your support now, you have to make certain that you take care of yourself first so that you can be there for him.

Answer 3

Hi.

My Dad died of a brain tumor several months ago. The frustrating thing was, he didn't want to get treatment for it. He had a very large, softball-sized growth in his brain and he pretty much just gave up and let it take him. But I know now at least he's not suffering anymore and he's moved on into the next life and is happy.

Your Dad needs to get as much done for the cancer as possible. Surgery, if needed, chemo therapy and medicine.

It sounds right now as though the cancer is rather small, so there's probably a good chance he can be helped.
Once is grows and starts to spread to other tissue or parts of the body, it's usually too late.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck and I'll pray for you. I've seen it first-hand and cancer is a terrible way to die.

Good luck

Answer 4

Okay, Genya....

Your dad's already seen a doctor about it, and that's good. It's really possible to live with a brain tumor for quite some time. And possible to treat it, though there might be personality changes. There are a number of treatment options.

The physicians will want to talk with your dad- and the rest of the family. There may be more tests to see what has the best chance of actually working. There may be chemo, surgery, assorted forms of radiation and drug therapies.

Your dad's going to have to depend on you and the rest of the family to not lose it, if you can help it.

When treatment begins, if he's allowed to stay at home, the house will have to be kept very clean: He won't have any immune system to speak of, so the mildest cold germ could hurt him badly. He's probably going to be sick and tired a lot- literally.

You have a lot of people rooting for you and your dad, Honey. So go beat that cancer to smithereens and show it that it does not have you!

Answer 5

I don't know if I have the things you need to hear or not, but I am going to give it a try. Most likely your dad will do fine, there are so many awesome treatments now for every kind of thing. Your a very nice girl to be more worried about your family and dad than yourself. It is okay to tell your parents that you want to be told whatever is going on. That way you can study about it. Sometimes just understanding something takes a lot of stress off. At 14, you are old enough to be a lot of help with the "babies", and the at home things, but don't feel bad if you feel overwhelmed and need to taalk to someone or ask for help a bit too. In fact the biggest help is to really be there for your family, ask mom and dad what they need while they are tending to all the medical stuff. I will be praying for you.

Answer 6

I'm 43 years old father of two daughters , eight and 16.
I have a brain tumor, and I've had it for some time now,
there are some new treatments, how did the first find out he had the brain tumor . usually starts off with seizures , his first priority is to be the seizure control,
there are so many different types of brain tumors . I can't give you too much more info on that till I knew more.

no matter what kind it is it tall scary,there are slow-growing tumors and fast-growing tumors?

and the grade of tumor.

I would be happy to help , with info and understanding of which are going through.

[e-mail]

Allan Mayta

Answer 7

Just know it's not hopeless... there are a lot of things that you need to know about the tumor before you can assume anything. It may or may not be cancerous. Where exactly it is located in his brain will make a difference. And not only these things, but there are so many other variables making this a hard question to answer here. You really need to talk to your father and his doctor. I know it's not easy but try to think of the best. People survive these things very often!!

Answer 8

You must be scared to death and no one could blame you for it. The best thing to do is pray for your dad AND his doctors. Wait for the entire report to find out what kind of tumor he has and what they can do to treat it. It depends on what it is as to whether or not there is treatment for it. I have a cousin who has a daughter who has a brain tumor. They have to operate on it every three years or so to reduce it's size, but she lives a fairly normal life most of the time.

I want you to know that even though I don't know you or your family, I will pray for you as soon as I finish writing this. Again, be strong and wait for the results. Your dad and mom are going to need a lot of help from you right now. Be as grown up as you can be and help as much as you can even if it means giving up a lot of your free time. God Bless You.

Answer 9

My brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few months ago, all of his doctor's are telling us that brain tumors are a lot more common than we think and they aren't freaking out about it, they just want to watch it for a year. The doctor's also said that most brain tumors go un-detected, so hopefully your dad's has been there for his life and hasn't affected him thus far, so hopefully its not going to affect him at all. Your father and family are in my prayers.

Answer 10

Don't think the worst too soon. I was diagnosed with a tumor in my lung. The presurgical testing placed it at 98% likely to be cancer. I went three weeks thinking I had cancer and would lose my lung and possibly die within a year.

One surgery later and four weeks recovery, I had a fungal growth that had become necrotic. I lost a small part of my lung and am fully recovered.

Be patient, but don't fear the worst; believe in the best outcome.