More specifically, a teenage girl. Interested in consequences that will curb or eliminate behaviors such as smoking, lying, stealing, etc.
2006-07-12 06:55:01 · 19 answers · asked by yelocrab 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Grounding. No going out with friends, no tv, no phone. Good luck to you, sir. That worked for me 10 years ago.
2006-07-12 06:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by wannabebeachbum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open letter to the teenage girl: I was once in your shoes. I wish with all my heart that my parents had cared enough about me to have stepped in and changed my behavior. I know now that some of it I did to try to get their attention, (smoking), some I did to try to fit in, (sex), and lying to escape the consequences. I paid a huge price for doing those things. Not only did I hurt myself, but later on when I realized my parent's could have stopped me, I ended up hating them for it. That has affected every relationship I've had as an adult. Looking back to see where you went wrong is easy - seeing it at the time is almost impossible sometimes. That's one of the reasons why we get parents. They've been there and done that - so if you have even a tiny bit of wisdom listen to them. How you are now will probably be how you will be as an adult. If you think being a sorry assed teen is rough, it's much worse being a sorry assed adult. No one has to help you or care for you. It really is a case of you made your bed now sleep in it. Take pride in yourself and have self love. You can be someone in life - listen to your parents.
2006-07-12 07:20:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best punishment for a teenager is a lack of trust from parents. My parents let me earn their trust, and with their trust came privileges. If I did something to break the trust then I had to start over on earning it back. This honestly kept me from doing a lot of things I probably shouldn't have because I had almost complete freedom when I had their trust. It worked really well because it was letting me grow into being adult. Plus, when i lost my privileges I could only blame myself. It was a good way to take complete responsibility for my actions. Too much "punishment" will just push a teenager away often times.
2006-07-12 07:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by caitlinerika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to talk to her about the above concerns. If you don't talk to her, then she won't know NOT to do them.
If you smoke, then she'll think it's ok to smoke.
I've been talking to our daughter about all of those subjects since she was very young.
Know all of her friends and parents. If she is going to meet her friends or go with a family somewhere, make a point to meet them. That way you know what type of people she is hanging around with.
Make your house the house they want to hang around. That way you KNOW where and what they are doing.
Punishments:
NO internet
NO phone
NO IPOD-or whatever they love to do
NO car
LOTS and LOTS of chores..Make a list for her to work off of.
NO money/allowance
Grounding may work, If you don't ground her, make her come home really early
Stress that you trust her and tell her what you expect of her. Please don't Disappoint me kind of talk. Kids don't want to disappoint their parents.
When you have the talk about all of your concerns, ask her what her opinion is on each subject, then view your opinions to her and why you feel that way.
If you do punish her, FOLLOW through with it. If you back off, she'll push the rules every time, and that will be YOUR Fault.
Good Luck, parents can only do so much. I hope our 13 year old handles the teen years without to many problems.
2006-07-12 07:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take away her clothes. Hide them and lock them up to where she can only wear the things she does not like, if anything at all. If she doesn't have anything to wear she won't go anywhere. Also for the smoking thing, it depends on if you smoke or not, but you could take her on a trip to go see people who are dying of diseases caused by smoking and possibly let them, if you can find a willing participant, tell her the dangers of smoking. She will be able to see the results and I think the impact of talking to someone like that would have a stronger effect
2006-07-12 07:12:37 · answer #5 · answered by j. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no amount of punishment will keep a teenager from smoking, lying, stealing etc. At this point all you can do is reason with them and get them to decide that these things aren't a good idea. If they really want to do it, they will do it anyway.
2006-07-12 07:07:32 · answer #6 · answered by goose1077 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her out of your sight. It is punishment for you too, but keep her within 10 feet of you 24 hours a day for 5 days everytime she exhibits one of these behaviors. Make sure you do a lot of outdoor yard work, go for long fast walks and cook foods that she doesn't like. A few times of that and she may start to see things your way.
2006-07-12 06:59:27 · answer #7 · answered by therego2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take away the thing she values most and make restitution for things she has stolen (make her work or sell her own things). On top of that ground her from phone, going out, and any activities outside of school or work.
Don't give her a free ride. Make her work and pay for things.
2006-07-12 07:11:08 · answer #8 · answered by Forget-n-forgive forget it!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These days, withholding money... not letting them see friends... making them sit in the room with you no matter where you are (Teens hate to be seen with their parents/spending time with their parents.)
My 15 year old nephew mouths off to my sister in law with terrible language, steals out of her purse, lies all the time, gets bad grades
and probably smokes pot....
I think he does this because my sister in law and brother in law want to be the "cool" parents... best friends with their son instead of diciplinarians and parents.
Try to show your teen that you are in control of every situation and that you are going to make consequences for unruley behavior.
2006-07-12 07:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by peaceforhumans 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take away privlages- driving, cell phone (no, I don't believe this is neccessary for a teenager to have, there's no situation outside of medical that makes it absolutely neccessary for a kid to have one), dating, going out with friends, extracurricular activities, allowance, etc.
Be firm about it, though. Don't give in early, or change your mind. Do what you say you are going to do, so they know what to expect.
2006-07-12 06:59:42 · answer #10 · answered by sendme.todisney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋