I have a 2 year old spirited child. He is horrible out. Very tempered. Should this stop me? Please help!!!?

Question

If I bring my child anywhere he throws fits. If he doesn't get his way he screams. It's almost like I dont know if it's worth it. It's embarassing for him, my husband and myself to do anything with him. Will he grow out of this or do I continually take him out even though he screams? The only time when I can go to a store w/ him is if he has snacks and his juice. He is a very routine kid. Do I wait it out and not take him places or do I let people just stare at me. I am an at home mom that gets tired of being home all the time w/ my son and just would love to take him places but I cant due to his behavior. Please help!!!!!!!

Answer 1

First of all, what are you feeding the kid? Did you know that sugar causes more temper tantrums? Stop giving him these sugary drinks and snacks. These things only make it worse. How many children do you have? If he is an only child, then he is probably lonely. You have to speak to him. When you talk to him, bend down to his level so that you make eye contact with him, but don't scare him. Ask him what it is that makes him sad, what it is that makes him happy. When he answers, do the parrot thing. Repeat what he has said, to show that you listened to him and ask him why? If he doesn't respond kindly then ask him to speak in a calm manner. Don't tell him what to do. Ask him.
Whatever else you do, don't tell him no. If he continues doing it, then you have to realize that he is testing you. Set up a time-out mat in the corner of a room. Make sure that there aren't any toys in his vicinity or anything else that will make time-out actually a fun-time for him. You have to tell him that he has to sit there(however old he is, he is 2, so he has to sit for 2 minutes as he gets older the time-out time increases with his age) until the time is up. If he gets up then bring him back there. Make sure he stays there. He has to understand that you are the boss, not a mean dictator.
You have to respect him too. Only then will he also respect you. Listen to him and respond. You have to also set up a schedule for him. Play time, clean time, wash time, reading time?, arts and crafts time, his time to do what he wants to do. It is also good if you tell him your plans. For example,"today we are going to the supermarket. is there anything that you would like to get there?" Ask him to help you to make the grocery list. It will show him that you are ready to include him with the important things of daily life.
You have to understand that these things take time and that they will not always work at first, but if you continue to do it (no yelling, it shows that you have given in to him and then he doesn't respect you) then he will soon understand that he cannot get away with everything all the time.
I wish you good luck and a lot of patience.

Answer 2

I'd say, make sure he has his snacks, he's had his nap (if he's taking one), and go out. Does he like to go to the park? Maybe taking him some place he thinks is fun will help him get used to being out and about and around alot of other people. It could just be stress, like he's overwhelmed when you go out. What is usually the trigger? Just keep reminding him that it's not okay to throw a fit, and don't give in to him when he starts one. When you take him to the store and he throws a fit let him know that you'll leave as soon as your done getting a few things. Maybe have him help you find them. Or ask him if he wants to go somewhere fun (like the park) and tell him you'll go as soon as you're finished at the store. And don't worry about other people, the ones who stare are the ones that don't understand, and the moms that look at you are usually only offering some silent support, because alot of us have been there at least once. ^_^ Hang in there!

Answer 3

i have a 2 1/2 y/o son, and hes a terror as well, but near as i can tell, they only throw temper tantrums when they know theyll get what they want. kids have a good memory, if you let them have what they want, even once, theyll know that if they just scream long enough, youll give up. what you need to do here, is take him out regularly, (try someplace where screaming doesnt matter so much, like the park, or a very large grocery store, mc donalds, etc.) with snacks and juice, and when he starts in, ignore him. pretend nothing is wrong, blindly go about your shopping, or whatever else you were doing. smile at the other moms, (theyve all been there.) laugh with your hubby, and above all, remind yourslf and him, that chances are, youll never see any of these people again, screaming children are part of going out in public, anyone that gets pissed about it had obviousy never been a parent. my son used to throw horrible tantrums while out alone with his daddy, hed freak out because my son would scream so loud people thought his daddy has abducted him! even when we were at home, hed throw tantrums because we wouldnt let him outside naked. his dad and grandparents would let him scream for an hour or just let him outside with no clothes on. finally, i just stopped caring. if he started screaming because i wouldnt let him outside naked, id calmly explain to him that he has to wear clothes outside, pick him up while he was screaming full boar, (dad and grandma were shocked at first.) held him down, slapped a diaper and some pants on him, and before he knew it, he was dressed and i was shooing him outside. while this was hard on the ears, it worked. less than a week later, he stopped screaming over getting dressed. he knew that it didnt work on me, so he stopped. (he still tries sometimes ith grandma.) show no reaction to his screams and he wont do it anymore. i promise, ive never seen it fail.

Answer 4

You don't have to be a prisoner in your own home. Routine is good to an extent, but he's got school coming up in a few years and needs to get used to being in different places and around different people. Realistically, he is in the "terrible 2s" but that's an excuse, too. Watch the nanny shows for pointers, but talk to your mother and inlaws for help, even your doctor, and read up on psychology and behavior modification. Remember: what gets rewarded, gets repeated. What is his REASON for the behavior? What does he stand to gain? Look for antecedents - what leads to the inappropriate behavior? That's step one. Can you fill the need for the behavior in a positive way? Is he trying to get attention, is he scared to be away from home, is he jealous or threatened by going out, is he bored, etc. Do little experiments to find that out first. If that doesn't work, then look at the consequences. How do you and other people react? What happens? Is it consistent? Is it appropriate or acceptable to you? For little ones, consequences should be immediate, relevant, and consistent in order to be most effective. And, yes, if you are going against his wishes, the behavior will get worse before it gets better. I think you owe it to yourself and to your son to stick it out. Mix in some fun places (zoo, aquarium, park, pet store) but make sure every outing is not all about him, either. You deserve a life, and he needs the experiences, too. Good luck. PS Don't worry about other people. Yeah, we'll give you weird looks that will make you feel embarrassed , but we really sympathize.

Answer 5

I would recommend trying the Love and Logic parenting technique by Jim Fay. The idea behind the Love and Logic™ theory is this: parents should provide an atmosphere of love, acceptance, and empathy, while allowing the natural consequences of a child’s behavior and actions do the teaching. This should happen in the early years, when the consequences of the inevitable less-than-perfect choices are not too severe or damaging. By the time the child reaches adulthood, he or she is equipped with the decision-making skills needed for adult life. The method also teaches insight into parenting styles and how our own parenting styles can, inadvertently, sometimes rob a child of the ability to grow up making good decisions for him- or herself. It’s applicable to all children from toddlers to teens.
You can find books about it at your local library. Good luck.

Answer 6

some children well all children need routine! If it keeps him happy to have a snack while at the store than there is nothing wrong with bringing something from home to keep him "entertained". It is wrong however to give in to the "fits" and give him whatever he wants while at the store. Try to "prepare" him for you adventure out. Make him his own "list" with pictures of stuff he can help you look for. Kids like games make going out in public a game! It works for mine. They just turned 5 & 3.

Answer 7

okay I know you don't want to hear this AGAIN, but he's a BRAT!! lol I know its hard to hear, BUT you CANNOT let him act like that in Public. when he starts Screaming take him somewhere out of the view of the public, and do whatever it is you would do to him when you are at home. Spanking, yelling, timeout whatever. I think i got lucky since all i have to do is tell my 18 month old to stop and he will, but I have been doing that since he was old enough to understand it isn't okay to be a brat.
If it's something you can deal with wait until your husband is home and leave is little Butt with him and YOU go out alone. but whatever you decide to do you need to start NOW and Stick with it! since he is 2 and he will never stop if you don't make him stop.

Answer 8

Stop calling him "spirited" and face the realty that he's being a brat because you let him. The next time he starts screaming take him somewhere private and give him a smack on his butt. You kid is calling the shots and dictates where you go and where you do not and he is only 2!!!!

Answer 9

I would take him in the bathroom and spank him on his butt with a belt or my hand. Tell your husband to do it if he is with you.

If he keeps getting away with it then he won't stop cause he knows thats how he can get his way.

As for the other people they stare because they want to take him in the bathroom and spank his little butt. Who cares about those people anyway they are not the mom or dad.

The mom and dad SHOULD be able to handle their child or somethings wrong with the way you disapline.

Answer 10

He's not going to grow out of it, he is spoiled. You need to fix this problem now.