We been 2gether 8yrs & I never cheated on him or even looked at another man. I lay it on him every night, any way he wants it and cater 2 his every want and need. I can't go out unless he's with me and when we go out together he always fights with me when other guys look at me and blames me for it. Why can't he just love me and stop treating me like I'm his property and being so paranoid that he's going to lose me?
2006-07-12 06:23:01 · 12 answers · asked by boriblueyez 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
8 years is a pretty long time. Do you see yourself enduring this for another 8 years? The way I see it is that you are too giving and he is too selfish. He is the type of guy that says "What is mine is mine alone." He is trying to cage you. Eventually, you will feel very suffocated.
I know you love him very much, but how much longer will you wait for him to just love you and stop treating you that way? You need to assess your situation very carefully. To get what you want you need to act. Now and not later. He will continue to treat you that way as long as you allow him. But if you show him that he can lose you, not because of any man but because of him, he might start to reassess his actions.
On your part, don't be afraid to lose him despite being with him for eight years. You need to think of your tomorrow this time. You have given all you can give to him for eight years. It is time you think of you. You have been hoping far too long for him to change, and yet still nothing. Unless you act now, this will continue on.
If he doesn't change, you need to free yourself from the cage that he has built for you.
If a man truly loves a woman, he will not imprison her like a bird, but trustingly lets her soar and enjoy the freedom as he watches lovingly and waits as she glides back to him because she knows with him she has the freedom and love she deserves.
2006-07-13 04:33:19 · answer #1 · answered by Iya 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No woman should ever be treated like a posession. But, I'm going to try and look at this from his point of view. Maybe he thinks that you are doing something to draw attention to yourself. What do you usually wear when you go out with him? I'll be honest with you...I've been married for two years now and we were together for three years before we wed, but if I see a good looking woman that is dressed in revealing outfits, even if she's with a guy, I still look. It's human nature. I'm not accusing you of "dressing like a slut" or anything, I'm just wondering if you may be wearing something nice and when these other men look at you, your boyfriend/husband thinks that you are doing this on purpose. It's just a possibility. Ultimately, you probably should talk to him about this. I've seen situations get ugly like this. Time goes by and everything stays the same and then it all blows up in a nasty rage. Not to bum you out, but from what I've witnessed in situations just like yours, it has often turned out to be the man that was cheating, not the woman. He was just trying to keep her from doing the same.
Just be careful if you ask him...he may get defensive...but I don't know him like you do. If you trust him and know him well enough that he won't do anything to hurt you, then go ahead and throw it out there on the table. Talk it out. It will do one of three things: 1) You will realize what an obnoxious jerk he is. 2) He will change and trust you more. 3) Nothing changes and you are back to where you started. I think communicating with him will help...but that's just my opinion. Good luck!
2006-07-12 13:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by bluejacket8j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 8 years this shouldn't be an issue normally. The first question is has someone else cheated on him before or has someone close to him been hurt badly by someone cheating on them? Usually a persons fear is rooted in their past. Some times you just have to get to that root event and talk about it and why it causes him to be the way he is. Communication between you two on this issue is essential. You need to make it clear that his behavior is improper and that he isn't giving you the respect and trust that you deserve and expect from someone you love. You need to make him realize that jealousy is normal but that he needs to control it and rely on his trust in you and that if he can't he will eventually lose you because you can't be in a relationship with someone who can't trust you and respect you.
2006-07-12 13:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs some serious counseling. I wish I could tell you what to do. Both of you will need to go at first. Telling him that my make him angry, so be prepared. Maybe if you start couseling, and then invite him later would help.
2006-07-12 13:30:19 · answer #4 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's just inscure baby girl. it could be that something happened to his past that makes him this way. tell him that you're not comfortable going out with him when he does that. otherwise, it'll continue.
2006-07-12 13:28:16 · answer #5 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually a sign of major insecurity and immaturity, be careful with these kind of people, it's not YOUR fault when someone looks at you!
2006-07-12 13:28:51 · answer #6 · answered by ceffedupwithwhiners 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him go, he sounds like a jerk and maybe hes jealous cuz his really the one cheating on you...
2006-07-12 13:28:21 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to get rid of him. He is possessive it seems. That can be dangerous..
2006-07-12 13:27:27 · answer #8 · answered by movu101779 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what do u know u just answer ur self ... let him feel what will happen if he just loose you , this way he will appreciate what he has
2006-07-12 13:27:45 · answer #9 · answered by Clark794 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
agreed with the guy with the nickname-....usa sth..
2006-07-12 13:36:55 · answer #10 · answered by alexgnot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋