Okay so I'm just curious, I know what my opinion is, but I want others opinions so that maybe I can understand. Why would two people who deeply care and love eachother, agree to add another person in the relationship sexually, (when that is the most intimate thing between two people). Why would they do that whether it be to spice things up, or for whatever reason? I guess I am trying to understand why someone would be comfortable with that, and how someone could even be comfortable enough to allow that and watch that with someone they love. I know a lot of people will say well if you trust your partner it shouldn't be a problem...it's not a matter of trust, but why would someone allow that in an actual commited relationship. I'm not young so I'm not asking for that reason, I'm just curious, please be serious! Thanks!
2006-07-12 05:30:21 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You started with "... two people who deeply care and love each other"... honestly, if you allow another person(s) into a relationship then you DO NOT deeply care and love each other because you don't respect each other. Also, don't give me that "because we're open and comfortable with our sexuality"... NO, you're just selfish people with selfish minds that CAN NOT commit and so you need to have your fun and games and try to legitimize it.
If you can't keep faith with ONE partner, then don't get into a relationship. Some people are just not able or mature enough to be able to be with just one person, and that's how life is. Not everyone is able to be devoted to one person...
2006-07-12 05:36:06 · answer #1 · answered by DarthFangNutts 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I think your curiosity is valid I think something should be said said first. Many people do not feel that the act of sex is as you put it "the most intimate thing between two people". The most intimate thing between two people is the emotional bond that someone has with another individual. Those emotions and feelings that two people share are way more important and intimate than just a physical act. So in answering your question someone people are able to add a third or fourth person because they have that deeply commited relationship/bond that they feel will not be broken. Don't get me wrong sex is great but it is only a physical act that last only momentarily while an emotionally fulfilling relationship is much stronger and lasts much longer. Think abou tit and maybe someone else can back me up but, when you have ssex with someon you really care about isn't it more satisfying than just a roll in the hay with anybody?
2006-07-12 12:51:37 · answer #2 · answered by Brandon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there are all kinds of reasons. Spicing things up could be one. When you are married or in a relationship a long time, just having sex with the same person, things can get kind of in a rut. Also, just because you are in a committed relationship, it doesn't mean you don't find other people attractive. You will always find other people attractive, your entire life, even if you love your husband or boyfriend dearly.
I'd say the other reason is different strokes for different folks. There are actually husbands out there that would sincerely enjoy seeing their wives/girlfriends with other men. They want to watch. And there are wives who would enjoy seeing their husbands/boyfriends with other women. Sometimes, they love their significant other so much, they just love seeing them get pleasure, even if it isn't from them.
Yes, trust is a big part of this. But it's also 'different strokes' - even if you trust your partner, it doesn't mean that having an open relationship is right for you guys. Maybe it's just not your cup of tea. You might just prefer to have it one-on-one.
I like to compare sexual stuff to food sometimes. While I can't understand why anyone would want to eat licorice candy, there are some people out there who genuinely love the stuff.
It's all personal preference :)
2006-07-12 12:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you the only reason I can figure is why people would want to have a open relationship is cause they are afraid to commit. Some will say it adds spice to their life.
Personally I am married and can't imagine being with someone else or bringing in another woman into the bedroom. This is something that is shared between the two of us and no-one else.
2006-07-12 12:35:54 · answer #4 · answered by Firestorm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it's to avoid having secret affairs. Some partners in a relationship have a high libido and can't seem to get enough sex from one partner. Either the partner with the lower sex drive recognizes this and allows others in their relationship or that's why the partner was attracted to (the high sex drive) and has come to grips that they cannot restrain the other partner.
Either way it's a compromise that the one lower sex drive partner deals with in a relationship with the high sex drive partner. It's obviously not most people's way of handling this situation but then again everyone seems to find the right partner that makes their relationship work. To each his own, I don't fully understand it or put it down, but it does make me curious how it works for them.
2006-07-12 12:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by Kamikazeâ?ºKid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it can be for a number of reasons that people do it. One very important one is that they are afraid of commitment. They cant themselves settle with just one person,so they add another to make themselve feel comfortable. Some people do it for the thrill...to be honest i think they do it out of fear that the person they are with will not like them entirely for who they are as a person, so they add another to the mix to dilute what is they are really trying to hide. I agree with you though, if you love someone and care about them why oh why would you bring someone else into your own intimate setting? Whatever people do behind closed doors is there business, me personally would never do it because i would want them person i am with to be committed to me and only me. i cant share my heart with more than one person!!!!
2006-07-12 12:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by shawny2623 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I never really understood that either, i'm just going to be blunt right now. I personally feel that "adding" another person in a relationship is disgusting and immoral, how about "spicing things up" by doing something new "together".....if someone doesn't see a problem with adding another partner , I'd say they need a shrink.........good question tho.:-)
2006-07-12 12:36:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a matter of getting the needs of people met. Sometimes the conventional relationship and sexual ideas aren't enough to satisfy the parties involved. I know it's hard to conceive, but life outside the norm isn't that weird. I say if the parties involved in the relationship can handle something unconventional...more power to them and may they find happiness & bliss where ever they may.
2006-07-12 12:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. Francoise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is all about trust. I have had open relationships and they work well if your not the jealous type. It is strictly for sexual reasons. And it can be a lot of fun. That way you have various partners but their is no catches. As long as both people are mature and not jealous it should work just fine!
2006-07-12 12:33:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not my cup of tea, but for some people, it just feels good and they don't have all the hangups about sex that most of us do. Or, at least they don't think they have hangups until they try the open relationship thing and find out it messes with their heads. I really don't think there are that many people who can pull it off without damaging their emotional state and their relationships.
2006-07-12 12:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by nuclear_science 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋