2006-07-12 05:21:33 · 27 answers · asked by camryn010703 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Because guys never know where they stand with single mothers.
When we act like the kids father...we are told not to...that we should just be a friend.
When we act like a friend...we are told the kids need a father figure not another friend.
When we try to help with the kids expenses...we are told that that hhelp isnt needed.
If we dont try to help with the expenses we are told that we are cheap.
If we dont include the kids in vacations...parties....christmas presents..etc etc....we are told that we leave the kids out of the relationship too much.
If we do include the kids....we are told we never plan things for just the two of us.
We cant win.
2006-07-12 05:26:41 · answer #1 · answered by werk2much2000 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Not to sound harsh, but you're carrying "baggage" that unless you're also looking for a single father, most men that date are not ready to get into a relationship that has built in "problems."
Note I quoted baggage and problems because I love children and I don't find them to be either baggage or problems. I have two kids myself and love the dearly so would never consider them that, but in the dating word, these are two words that describe what a single mom comes with... unfortunately.
Good luck dating however, I'm sure if you look hard enough, the right guy will show up sooner than you think.
2006-07-12 05:26:39 · answer #2 · answered by DarthFangNutts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from my point of view. When I was single I was worried about who I allowed around my children. Alot of men who date single women dont want the package that come with a single mother. Now dont get me wrong there are some good men who love the woman and the children as if they are their own. Being patient and not rushing things will help dating a single mom.
2006-07-12 05:31:18 · answer #3 · answered by Monique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all comes down to one thing, Baggage, Dating a single mother is just asking for trouble. First of all she already made a bad choice in dating the loser she broke up with, Then you gotta deal with that jerk as well. Its never easy, think long and hard before you make this move. I'm not saying all single mothers are no good, Theres some real sweet and loving women out there who just made a bad choice. I'm just saying you always have to deal with the Baggage that comes with her.
2006-07-12 05:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by bassic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural for a guy to wonder if the mom is looking for someone to take care of her kids as a provider, and some guys have an issue about raising another man's kids. Right or wrong, it is what it is.
Not all do however, and if you are up front that you intend to date so you can enjoy life, but also indicate that your kids come first, you will earn the respect of your potential suitor and make him realize that you don't NEED him, you WANT him in your life. Big difference.
2006-07-12 05:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by BlueFire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because most guys are selfish that way and want to be your #1 focus especially when first getting acquainted. It's kind of like you dating two guys at once and the new man in your life always plays second fiddle.
Also you need to find a babysitter and usually have to check in to make sure everything is alright with the kid at home.
That's why most single mothers wait until the children are older when they can devote full attention to themselves and developing a close relationship.
my experience
2006-07-12 05:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by Kamikazeâ?ºKid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dating in general is pretty difficult, if you think about it, but dating as a single parent is just that much harder because you have to balance your child into the equation.
being a single parent means that whoever you date has to be able to accept the fact that you have a kid, and that the kid will always come first. that said, it's easier for a single father to find a woman willing to accept his kid than it is for a single mother to find a man willing to accept her kid.
think about this fact for a few minutes... in the wild, lions don't step-parent. when a new lion takes over as head of the pride, he will KILL all the cubs sired by the previous head of the pride. he won't step-parent them, he KILLS them. if the cubs are older, then he will chase them away. either way, it's about all the offspring being HIS, not another lion's.
the same instinct, in a sense, is in humans as well. while we don't kill our potential step-children like lions do, there is a natural tendency in men to not want to be a parent for someone else's child. so single men who don't have children will often avoid single mothers because they don't want the responsibility of a child that's not their own, or as is in many cases, they don't want the responsibility of a child, period.
2006-07-12 05:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by caysdaddy04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lack of understanding is what makes it difficult. Not understanding that she has to split her time between you and her kid(s). Also in some cases men have an issue with knowing that the child's father will always be in the picture.
2006-07-12 05:30:44 · answer #8 · answered by cinnamon_latin_doll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really isnt unless you make it that way. I am dating a mother of 2 but I also have 2 kids myself and they are with me most of the time. It gets easier, you just havent found the right guy yet.
2006-07-12 05:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you must be respectful to her situation if this is a man asking the question. One must accept what could happen if dating turns into a relationship. Does this man want to accept the resposibilty of caring for another man child?
2006-07-12 05:25:17 · answer #10 · answered by aboitoi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋