okay i am not trying to offend anyone but why does this very nice person i know keep nagging me to go to...?

Question

church??? i have turned her down more than a dozen times politely and even mentioned that i don't believe in god, that i have my own so called religion and she just won't stop! every single time i talk to her she brings it up and says that the little problems in my life can be solved by going to church, not going is allowing the devil in my life...etc. it's neverending. i feel like i have become a "project" to her or that she is trying to save me or something and it's annoying. i mentioned this to another friend and she said that's how christians are, that they are relentless about recruiting people and she will never get it. is that really how it is??? why oh why can't she accept the fact that i believe something else? do christians do this to every religion? i don't understand......is my other friend right about the recruiting thing??

trust me, i have tried to tell her nicely before. i feel like she just doesn't get it....i dunno. if she doesn't stop it's going to ruin our friendship and i will stop talking to her.

thanks everyone for your answers so far....but still it's not like she goes on bugging jewish people or muslims, or buddhists to convert...she seems to only nag me and other athiests. i don't understand WHY she can't just accept what I choose to believe.

Answer 1

because she cares about you and no, it's not a recruiting thing.

Answer 2

It's a never-ending thing. I finally gave in and visited church with a friend who nagged me for 7 years. Then, he was hounding me about joining. I also had a nurse in my doctor's office refuse to handle my check-in because I politely declined her church invitation on a previous visit. I have also had a professor refuse to give me a recommendation because I politely refused to join her church after visiting twice. Note: I have never told any of these people that I don't believe. In fact, when I went to church with my professor, I was still a Christian, just a different denomination. The point is there is nothing you can do except go commit a crime and get a whole new identity in a Witness protection program. ;-)

Answer 3

All Christians do not "recruit", only the fanatically obsessive ones do.

You comment that she is "nice", but she isn't respecting you and your feelings. I suggest that you not be so nice to her in return. She isn't getting your message. The next time she begins to rant on her religion, reverse the conversation and chat up your own beliefs. If she reacts with shock at the suggestion that she convert, tell her that this is how you feel when she won't respect your feelings. Some people just are so tunnel-visioned that they need to be shocked back to the real world. If this doesn't help, you may just have to distance yourself from her, in spite of her niceness.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Recruiting is a good way of putting it.

You need to tell her that what she is doing is offensive to the beliefs of others. Explain that you can't even imagine a God that is narrow minded enough to be as judgmental as the one she is being told to believe in.

I have found these people can be talked to, and will understand If you are frank and somewhat blunt with them. Not cruel just honest. On occasion I have actually made them understand that what they were being told about God was an insult to our loving source and simply was not true. This is difficult though because their fantasy beliefs are always enforced with ideas of Gods judging and punishing nature.

This alone should be enough to show you what the poor things are up against. Just be as loving as you can but be firm and explain that you care about her but if she persists you will have to stop being friends with anyone who can't respect your beliefs. Good Luck.

Love and blessings.

Answer 5

If you visited a restaurant where the food was the best you've ever eaten, totally free, and you could eat all you wanted of it - you'd probably want others to taste and see how good it is. That's the reason most Christians invite others to church.
Just remember, hanging out in a church won't make you a Christian any more than hanging out in a garage will make you a car.
Church isn't what your friend wants you to experience. Your friend is simply trying to introduce you to the Best Thing that's ever happened to her.

Answer 6

It would be incorrect to say it's a christian thing. Generalizations are not good and quite often inaccurate. That being said, there really isn't a whole lot you can do about this woman. Apparently you've already tried, telling her point blank, correct? What can you do now but ignore her or avoid her. I used to work with a woman who was a Jesus freak. She was relentless...but to combat it, I'd do things purposely to offend her. It didn't help matters...but at least I'd get a breather while she took off to go pray for me!

Answer 7

I think your friend is right.

If you've been firm with her and she still keeps going, she's being very unfriendly. It's not nice to tell someone that she's allowing the devil in her life or to nag her. You need to let her know that you're more than her project or "an unsaved person", and that if she can't relate to you as the person you are now--love you as you are, as Christians claim Jesus does and as you try to do with her--she can't relate to you at all.

You may like this. It's written by an Evangelical Christian who gets it:

http://www.voy.com/126402/82.html

Answer 8

People with an imaginary friend fear the unknown, most notably death, so vehemently that the imaginary friend becomes a necessary construct for them. Thus these fears do not have to be internally reconciled. On some level, these people know they've decided to believe in an imaginary friend, but every time one of them can convince one of us to believe in this imaginary friend also, playing upon our own fears of the unknown and death, they go home happier, feeling more profoundly justified in their faith. They're trying to convince you so that they can convince themselves. Her persistence makes this clear. If she can convince you, then she must be right, and what a relief that will be for her!

Answer 9

She sounds "born again" anything you say is falling on deaf ears. For your own sanity, just tell her religion is a subject that is off limits with you. Then if she keeps prattling on, excuse yourself from the situation or if you are on the phone tell her you have to go. Sounds rude, but she is being rude by not respecting your right to believe what you want.

Answer 10

what a lucky person you are!! ONLY ONE PERSON?!?!?!

I personally have no less than 2 dozens +1 (yes, 25 of them) persistently, relentlessly, mercilessly hounding me to go to church with them (i did relent a couple of times), to join them in bible study groups etc etc during my years in the university. I always tell them thanks but no thanks. They perservered but so did I. Sometimes they are so persistent that i have to stay out late to avoid them. So you can see my aversion to them christians.

Funny thing is, none of my muslim, buddhist friends ever try to convert me. We can have a good conversation and even argument and remain good friends.

Judging by some of the answerers' comments, you can say that i am quite a well loved person.

Answer 11

you said it!! because you have been polite about it! This kind of people are relentless since they get more recognition from their peirs by bringing others into the fold!
Try telling her to shut about the church crap and you don't want to hear it anymore! Tell her that her not agreeing with you isn't worth losing your freindship over!