I love my mother a lot but we have a very wierd relationship...I try to be the best daughter I can but is never enough. I'm hapily married for 5 years and have a beautiful 3 year old girl...my life seems to be perfect, but I'm incomplete because I dont get alone with my mother. I'm very sad about it and is affecting my everyday life.
2006-07-12 05:16:50 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's called being codependent. You need to get on with YOUR life with YOUR daughter and stop worrying about what other people think about you.
2006-07-12 05:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know exactly what kind of relationship you have with your mom but here is something I learned along the way: you cannot please all people all the time, only some people some of the time.
What I mean by that is that trying to be the best all the time will leave you exhausted and at your ends wit so what you need to do is be yourself because it will go a long way. Do not worry about your mom's feelings all the time. Try to explain your feelings, talk with her and if she does not want to hear you, take some time for yourself & your family as they are the most important people in your life. Having a good relationship with one's mother is very important I know but it is not always possible and when that happens, you just have to make do with what you have.
Good luck
2006-07-12 05:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by bluedawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that your poor relationship with your mother has such a profound effect on you. Not everyone can get along with their mothers. Do you have anything in common with her? Take what you have in common (probably the love of your daughter), and do things centered around that. It sounds like a hang up for you and it is something you personally need to live with instead of "fix." Try speaking to a counselor just once. They can be pretty good in teaching you how to just live with the life you were given.
It sounds like you are doing everything good in life and that you are generally happy with how you and your family are turning out. Don't let this issue ruin what you already have going for you.
2006-07-12 05:22:36 · answer #3 · answered by happymommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't really relate to your problem because i get along great with my mother. its not a perfect relationship no one's is but its pretty good overall.
The best advice i can give you is try spending quality time together. do things that you both enjoy and include your daughter. the time with both of you will help all of you bond.
you never stated why you didnt get along but communication is a big part of a relationship no matter what kind. i am sure that the problem with your mother is not the fact that you are not the best daughter you can be. i have learned with both of my parents that they just have high expectations of me and if i don't meet there needs then they feel let down. but you can never always do things to please others. you need to do things for yourself and your family. Try working on communication and understanding and that quality time and i am sure that things will get better.
2006-07-12 05:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by miss giggles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same issue with my mom. I could find the cure for cancer and it would never be enough. She's always been upset because I came out girl (she obviously wanted a boy and makes that known every chance she gets). I would say try and have a nice sit down and talk to her, see if you can get somewhere with that. If you can't, I say come to grips with the fact that you won't have that relationship. If you need, mourn it, accept that you have done everything in your power to bring you two closer (make sure you have done everything in your power to bring you two closer). After all of that give yourself permission to go on without her and give your daughter what you never had a great relationship with a great mom.
2006-07-12 05:25:17 · answer #5 · answered by Love United 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your own daughter is good right now.However,your relationship with your mother is,to put it mildly,stained because you try so hard to be a good daughter but those efforts seem to go unnoticed.That relationship is a work in progress and you and your mother both need to realize that you're not striving for perfection,but at least resemblance of a mother-daughter relationship similar to the one that you have with your daughter.
2006-07-12 05:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by jsimpkinsv2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ha vent mentioned your father and if you get along with him or not? If you stop and think that your mom will not be with you forever and those things that cause the two of you the most grief try to avoid. A sense of humour helps lots of times you can look at how stupid your arguments may be or just plain petty. Accept her for the way she is she is not going to change so if you want a relationship take her at face value, and don't let her get under your skin.
2006-07-12 05:24:34 · answer #7 · answered by kiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol i imagine you sound very dramatic and prefer a touch brat. because you're 13 I guess you'll flow to varsity, I propose because you're a toddler and wont have the right to make judgements like that for your self until eventually you're 18, this is 5 years away. and also you do not favor to be overweight to have a sickness. if you're ingesting a liter of soda an afternoon, you're literally not healty and therefore do have a sickness
2016-10-14 09:42:18 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always keep the line of communication open with your mother. Please keep in mind you may never have the ideal relationship. You also must accept that you must accept your mom as a person with faults and imperfections. She may never be the person you thought she was when you were a child. I know with my own mother I accept her as she is and I know I am a good person and she did her best. Pray for guidance and patience and never let anyone tell you bad things about her
Good luck and Peace,
2006-07-12 05:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by nylatinanurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what u r going through, and it hurts when no matter what u do is never good enough......maybe her mother was the same way with her and that's all she knows.....just do what makes .YOU happy, if she can't appreciate that, it is her end.....tell her that you just want you and her to have a great relationship and will do whatever you have to do in order to get there. Sometimes we have to give a little more with our parents.
2006-07-12 05:27:06 · answer #10 · answered by romanov1918 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to understand that your mother is your mother and there is nothing you can do to change her. However, you have to love her and respect her, cause after all, she is your mother. Stop worring about it. it seems like she can be a very controlling dominant person. You are your own person, married with a family and you dont need her approval. Just let her be.
2006-07-12 05:21:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋