Neighbor Kid?

Question

We live in a neighborhood who is filled mainly with teenage kids. I have a 7 year old son and all of my sons friends from school live in another houseing track.

We dont usually have friends from school come over because my kids are involved in sports and we dont usually have the time, therefore I dont know how to reach them.

The kid next door is my sons age and the only one around during summer. My son always wants to play with him, but I try to limit it.

The kid is rude to me, if I ask him something he ignores it- like I never said anything. If I tell them they cant play with a certain toy or game, he does it anyway. I feel like I am talking to a wall. The other day I asked if he would like to stay for dinner. I asked him about 3 times, before my husband stepped in and asked him.

I think the kid is just rude, but my husband said that this is typical of hispanic cultures- that the men do not have to respond or give respect to women. Is that true? How should I handle it?

I am sure he speaks english becuase him and his brothers all conversate with my husband. They refuse to talk to me. The dad is very nice and respectful. The mom dosent like to talk at all. We are not racist, and I dont know about other homes, but I am sure this family has less respect for women becuase the mom and grandma sit in the back seat while the dad and 13 year old sit up front.

Answer 1

i don't think "culture" matter, it's just plain rude. he's a kid, you're an adult & as such, should be treated with respect. he's a guest in your home. i wouldn't have asked him 3 times to stay for dinner. after the 2nd (assuming he may not have heard the 1st) i would've told him, "we're having dinner shortly, you'll need to go home". next time just tell the kid, when he's acting rudely, that you don't appreciate rudeness and he won't be asked over again if it continues. let him know that you do plan to speak with his mother/father about it if it happens again.

and next year, make sure you get phone numbers for the kids you do like.

Answer 2

I am around Hispanic families all the time and I have never found this to be true.
Did you ever think that maybe this child has a hearing problem that hasn't been addressed by his family. The fact that he heard your husband might indicate he did so because your husband elevated his voice level.
Instead of just telling him, show him. If you don't want him to play with a certain toy, show him the toy, tell him it is not to be played with, and remove the toy. If you don't like to talk loudly, then get close to him and make sure you have eye contact when you talk to him. Even if that means bending over to him to talk.
If this works and he responds, it might just mean he can't hear properly and I would speak to his parents.
By talking to him and not at him, and getting his attention when you talk should make a difference. Also, he may just be in his own little world and needs something to snap him out of it.
It won't hurt to try this approach and will give you a better idea of what is going on with him.

Answer 3

I think it depends on what Hispanic culture they're from to determine if it's a cultural thing, although I have never met Hispanic boys or men who are disrespectful to women as a whole. If anything, they're much more receptive to women's needs.
Maybe he just feels uncomfortable around you or has a learning disability. If I were you, I'd handle his actions on a case-by-case basis. If he ignores you, get down to his eye level and repeat what you said. If he ignores you again, gently direct his face so that he has no choice but to face you (unless he freaks and pulls away) and tell him that you're talking to him. You'd appreciate an answer. If he's STILL being weird, tell him that if he's not going to respect you enough to answer you, then he won't be able to come over and play anymore. Don't put up with him simply not following directions. If he plays with something you told him not to, take the toy away. It's still your house, even if he's not your kid. Hopefully things will pick up. I'd hate for your son to miss out on a playmate because of it. Your guidance as to how to behave around other adults might really help him.

Answer 4

If you don't want your kid playing with the neighbor boy anymore, then tell your son why. He might tell the other little boy to be nicer. It probably won't happen, but it might. Then you need to talk to the little boy's parents. Maybe they'll tell him to be nicer. And summer is half-way over. Hang in there. As for the culture thing, I'm not quite sure. Sorry about that. You mentioned you had more than 1 kid, right? Well, I know you said they were all playing sports all the time, maybe they could play together. Or you could send him off to a day care. It might also be a good idea to let him play sports. Either way, I hope you do figure this out. Women need to be treated right!

Answer 5

I have had this kind of experience with "kids on the block". What happened to me was that I was a stay home Mom and all the kids started to come to my house. When it first started I thought it was great because I could watch my own kids and make sure they were safe. But....it got old very fast. The kids start raiding the fridge, not listening, and it was not my job to be the law. So, I started taking my kids out for the day to Zoo's and libraries, shopping trips to the market, whatever to be free of these other kids. We actually had more fun doing this, then hanging out at the house. I did not need to give my kids excuses for not playing with the other kids, it was just easier to say, we are busy.
I am not sure about the whole Hispanic culture thing, I am sure this kid must have to be respectful to his own Mom. I think he is just rude and does not respect you, and you do not need that. You could go out of your way to teach him but do you want to invest that time in someone who might not even respond?

Answer 6

Tell the kid that in your house certain rules apply, that means he must acknowledge you when you speak to him, ask him a question or tell him he is not allowed to play with a certain toy or game. If he does not do that then he will not have the privledge of playing with your son and send him home immediately.

You should also find a summer activity for your son, or take him to a park where he can meet other kids, I wouldn't want this kid being the only friend my son has to rely on to play with. Or you can put an ad in the paper to babysit other kids and charge a small fee so that way your son has other kids to play with as well, if you are a stay at home mom. How about kids that were in his class last year, can you get in touch with them? Make sure next school year to 'make friends' with some of the moms in your kids class, that way he can have other kids to hang out with next summer.

The kids in my neighborhood know that what I mean is business. If I tell them to get off the computer and go outside and run around, they finish their task and go outside and run around.

There is no reason to have such a disrespectful child in your home, and chances are he will start being disrespectful to your son.

My son had a friend that lived down the block from where we used to live and he was similiar, but behind my back about it. He was nasty to my son after a while and I refused to let my son hang out with him. He had plenty of other kids in the neighborhood to hang out with.

Good Luck with this monster.

Answer 7

Hispanics? We say Latino or whatever origin. Your husband's theory is so far from the truth it's ridiculous. Just tell the kid that he is being rude when he does x,y, and z. And that next time if he chooses not to respond to you or to be rude in other ways, then you cannot allow rude children to be entertained in your home. But you should talk to your son about his friend's behavior first so that when his friend wants to show his rudeness and you kick him out, that it would not be a surprise to your son.

How do his parents act? That's one reason why it always pays to know the parents of your child's playmates.

And lastly, does the boy have a hearing disability?

Answer 8

You tell the little sh*t's mother and father. They are in the USA and by god here, we treat women with the same respect that we treat men. The last thing you want are those values rubbing off on your own son. Trust me, you don't want him treating women like that.
Your husband is correct. In Hispanic cultures (Mexicans at least) women are nothing. Case in point, we have a Hispanic mother who lives alone with 2 boys. They run the house. They drive the car (13 years old.) The mother will not say anything to them. They do as they please. Pathetic. Don't let your kid be subjected to that crap.

Answer 9

No matter what kids should respect what adults say. If the child is in your home, it is your rules, you need to be the parent and adult, the child is 7. If he is not listening to you about eating dinner he may be shy but if he is not respecting you tell him he needs to go home and if he doesn't call his mom. I don't care if you are hispanic or not, it is your rules and your home. If you don't want your own son to behave in that manner don't allow him to play with the child. They are only 7 so nip it early. I have almost the same situation and I get sick of kids that aren't mine pretty quick so when they don't listen they leave.

Answer 10

In my experience, most Hispanic children, male and female, are very respectful of adults of either gender. My guess would be that this kid has just grown up without being taught good manners.

I would have concern with this child interacting with my son; the poor behavior could transfer. I would strongly consider finding a way for your son to play with the kids from his school.

Answer 11

You probably need to communicate with his mother to see what is up with this kid because this is definitely a problem here. Then you can understand where this kid is coming from and proceed from there. If this doesn't work and he is still rude then don't have him over that much. You are the one to set the rules in your own house and he has to respect that like it or not. You would expect your son to behave himself at other people's houses wouldn't you?