My parents set rules that are obviously unfair. Everytime I try to confront them with my problem, they say I have an attitude or try to punish me. They make me get off the phone during the summer @ 9 while my friends stay on till like 7 in the morning. They never let me stay at friends' houses or even let me go to the movies with them. How can I solve this problem or at least get to talk to them about it?
2006-07-12 05:10:32 · 30 answers · asked by *MillerTime* 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well hun.... As a parent, your 2nd sentence said it all.. you confronted your parents. I have questions like..
1. How old are you?
2. What types of movies are you asking to go to?
3. Does your parents know and approve of the friends where you want to spend the night?
4. What made your parents make the decision not to allow you to go over there?
Honestly... for a 15 yr old, 9 pm is a suffiencent amount of time to be on the phone. I have a 15 yr. old, and he can only stay on the phone for an hour at the most with any one friend at a time. But that is me, I am not your parent. Try talking to them. They have their reasons, as unfair as it may seem. Our job is to teach our children right from wrong, and until the age of 18, keep you all on the right track. Don't get angry... listen to them with both ears. See if you can compromise.. maybe by asking them if they can bring you to the movies to meet those friends.. or honestly.. stay away from the friends they don't approve of.. that will only bring you mistrust and more trouble. If you want a bit of freedom, then as a child you have to show them that you are responsible enough to appreciate it and be responsible with it.
As far as sleeping over.. arrange a coffee date for your mom and your friends moms. My son and 2 of his friends did that. And their moms are a few of my very good friends. My son and I can tell you that as a teenager and a Mom of one, we try to make it work. I am not saying that we don't have our moments, because we do. But we also know that compromise and trust are major issues.
2006-07-12 05:25:08 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well I think it depends on how old you are. and who your friends are! Im going to assume you are in high school? My parents made me get off the phone at 9 too. I hated it, but I learned that it was actualy a good thing because from 9-bedtime was family time. My parents just wanted us to all be together at the end of the day. I think if you want to get your parents to listen to you, you need to bring up the conversation during a time when the subject is not HOT, if you know what I mean. I do think 7am is a little extreme (especialy if someone needs to call for an emergency in the middle of the night), but maybe they would make a compromise with you. ask if you can stay on the phone till your conversation is done (during the summer only). But explain that you will tell your friends not to call your house after 9 and you will not call anybody else's house after 9. reason being...adults dont get summer off. they still have to get up early and work. its disturbing and rude to call someones house late when others are trying to wind down and get ready for bed. Show them that you are responsible by sticking to your curfew and phone rules and maybe they will ease up a bit. also, most parents view outside activities and the phone as a privilage. so do all your chores (the right way) and take innitiative to do a little extra here and there. trust me, your parents will see that you are working hard and that you have done your part. they will have no problem letting you out for a little fun.
2006-07-12 05:32:37 · answer #2 · answered by Just a girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents often have weird, almost bizzare rules. Most of the time they are for the good. I am a 16 year old, yet my parents don't let me stay up past 10:30, or let me buy a digital camera or an ipod using the money that I earned from a job. Parents have reasons that they make these kind of rules, so I just intend to follow them, and when I go to college, I don't have to listen to their rules any more. So you are not the only one with these types of problems. Be lucky that your parents do not physically harm you. I hope this helps.
2006-07-12 05:17:22 · answer #3 · answered by Marky12345 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your parents would be more understanding if you changed your approach. Do you get off the phone by 9 without a hassle? The key is to approach the situation in a "grown up" way. Once you can show them that you can "happily" abide by their rules (not complaining and giving attitude), they may be more lenient.
Think of other options that they might go along with - will they let your friends stay at your house? How about seeing whether your parents will meet with your friend's parents - many times parents may be concerned because they don't know how lenient or strict other parents are and they don't want you to get hurt or be in a potentially dangerous situation. For example, say your parents don't keep guns in the house, but your friend's parents do - there are too many stories in the news about kids getting killed at their friends houses, so they would want to know how secure the guns are. Same with if your friend's parents abuse alcohol or drugs - they are just worried about you. Many times if your parents can meet his/her parents then they might relax the rules about sleepovers.
As for the movies, you don't say how old you are, but maybe your parents would let you go to the movies with your friends as long as they came along (and agreed to sit far away from you in the theater) or dropped you off and picked you up?
Good luck!
2006-07-12 05:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by Andrea F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, go a week or so without complaining or saying even one little thing about your parents being unfair. Then, maturely approach them and tell them you'd like to speak to them "man to man" or something like that.
Tell them that you don't want to question their parenting, as you feel that they are great parents. But you'd like to know when you will get more freedoms. Don't say you want more freedom now, or that you feel they are doing wrong. Just simply as when. And then ask if it is possible to earn their trust a little earlier to get these freedoms. Ask them specifically what you can do to earn these freedoms.
I don't know how old you are, but hang in there. I lived with my parents till I was 23 because I purchased my first home instead of renting it. I didn't have much freedom till I was 22 and had a full time job. I still had a curfew, etc. Hang it there, it won't last forever.
2006-07-12 05:17:23 · answer #5 · answered by happymommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to pick your battles kid and so do your parents.....I'm thinking in a way that you are a good kid and you didn't have to go to summer school and you just doen't give them any problems besides attitude...So I would suggest keeping up with all the things you've asked them to let you do and they said No, For Example: 6/1 They said No to the mall, 6/2 They said no to friends house, 6/4 They said No to a 4th of July celeb with friends AFTER So many let's say 5 No's or 5 days show them and say what do you need to do in order for them to allow you to go out......You know HOW OLD ARE YOU......Maybe that's there concern///// Good Luck
2006-07-12 05:20:36 · answer #6 · answered by Mary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents only set rules because they care about you,but they should let you do a little bit more than what they do. Maybe you should talk to them w\out making it seem like you have an attitude problem and the more you communicate w\them the more things they'll let you do, if they don't they're just being to over protective and you should let them know that.
2006-07-12 05:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by keirra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it helps to write to your parents to avoid having them get defensive. Be courteous and sweet. Be upfront and honest. Also make sure you aren't doing poorly in school ar misbehaving seeing as how that would be a great deterrent from giving you more liberties. If that doesn't work, try telliong them that you'll take on some more responsibilities around the house in exchange for some more trust and priveleges. Every parent is different but they all have their achilles heel. All you have to do is find it. Good Luck!
2006-07-12 05:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by modejunkie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rules your parents have set for you may or may not be age appropriate. You need to add details and let everyone know at least you approximate age in order to give educated opinions/advice. Your parents are trying to look out for your well being. However, some parents are over protective. Add details and you will get better advice.
2006-07-12 05:54:46 · answer #9 · answered by geni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! your parents sound like mine. I had to be off the phone @9 and couldn't talk to a boy for more than 15 min. But guess what, I complained alot too but now that I'm an adult I thank them for loving me enough to enforce rules.
Several of my friends got involved with the wrong crowd, stayed out late, expiremented with drugs at sleepovers, and became teenage moms. These were the friends who I thought got away with murder, no rules were set by their parents and look what it got them. I know it's hard right now but you will learn to appreciate it later.
2006-07-12 05:15:24 · answer #10 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋