Everytime I date someone, she doesn't match up. I keep finding something wrong with her. In my mind, i have this image of the person i want to be with, but i never find her. Should I start lowering my standards?
2006-07-12 04:52:59 · 40 answers · asked by pioneer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, do you think that the issues is just in lowering your standarts?
2006-07-12 04:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by sunflower 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What I'm going to tell you is keep an open mind. Sometimes its the least expected person we end up falling for. Maybe your standards are a little bit too high but then again we all have the list of qualities and things we look for in another person in our minds that helps us to shortlist. Maybe you're rushing love. The right person doesn't exist. You have to decide on someone and make that person the right person. Otherwise you'll end up looking in vain for something thats probably very hard to find. Don't look at every girl you date as a probability of being the one, look at her as the probably can I spend my life with this person. Besides, you can't expect to date a person one time and decide then and there if she's the one or not. Give that person some time and a chance to show you what she's all about. That way you would have known you have her a chance and it didn't work out. Love will find you when the time is right. It comes at you when you least expect it. Remember keep an open mind.
2006-07-12 05:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably. If you are finding something wrong with everybody you date, it is possible that you are an overly critical person who looks for the bad, rather than the good in people. Think about why you might be this way: Were your parents overbearing and critical of you often? Did you grow up learning to look for negatives rather than positives?
Don't lower your standards on issues of character and behavior, but perhaps you need to be more open minded about things like physical appearance, weight, ambition, what she does for a living, etc., etc.
2006-07-12 04:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by lmnop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noone is perfect. Perfection in human beings does not exist so do not look for a perfect girl. However, by lowering your standards you mean that you will settle for less than you deserve. Keep searching. The right girl will finally come your way. Just don't give up hope and know that perfection will never happen. But you can get close to it. Goodluck.
2006-07-12 04:57:07 · answer #4 · answered by gracie g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lowering your standards will help a lot with finding a girl. But your standards are important anyways. Look for a girl with one or two of you EXTREME standards and see how it goes. If it doesnt go well, keep trying. I know there is someone out there who feels the same way. You'll find *her* someday.
2006-07-12 04:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you find something wrong with everyone you go out with. Perfection is a physical and mental impossibility. It doesn't exist. Don't lower your standards, but quit looking for the flaws and just get to know the person you're going out with.
2006-07-12 04:58:47 · answer #6 · answered by agfreak90 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the situation. If you have a list of like 50 things she has to have, then, yes, lighten up. There are the "essential" things you would need in a relationsihp. This should be under about 10 things. (For me, this is religion, attitude, etc.) Then there are the things that are "icing on the cake"--you want them, but they're not necessary to making you happy. Learn to love people, serve people, and have a good time. If the girls you date really aren't right, then there is someone out there that will make you happy.
2006-07-12 04:56:27 · answer #7 · answered by Amber E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't lower your standards... unless you're looking for someone that's completely flawless and perfect because no one is perfect... perfection is boring anyway
sometimes you find that the flaws and imperfections, really aren't flaws, they're quirks and uniqueness that make you love that person the most
im sure your dream girl is out there, and when you do find her, you'll know that you never gave up and didn't just settle
but give the other girls a chance... you never know, your dream girl might be one of them and sometimes what your looking for could be in the most unexpected places
2006-07-12 04:58:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone on a radio show once said: is it easier to find someone you get on with, or someone you get on with and has all the physical features you want?
Ending up with the wrong person isn't really about "standards" - like someone else suggested, these things are more to do with external projections than what is really compatible with someone.
2006-07-12 05:04:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you should lower your standards but i do suggest that when you are out on a date you shouldnt look for the things that are wrong with her and compare her to what you really want. Nobody is perfect everyone has their flaws
2006-07-12 04:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by ursula 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont lower your standards... just stop looking for one. In the meantime... when you are dating... remember... this is the time when you can have some fun... once you have found someone special... you wont be dating anymore.
2006-07-12 04:56:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋