How do you confront your boyfriend a/b a lie when you had to violate his privacy to confirm they were lying?

Question

Trust was violated on both sides but on totally different levels (in my opinion). He was the one that wasn't smart enough to keep me from finding out HOW to find out!!!!!

Answer 1

u shouldn't do that unless u are prepared to break off with him. If it's just a white lies.. why care? If he is cheating on you, save your time to confront him, just leave him

Answer 2

Depending on the severity of the falsehood, breaking up with him may be your best option. If so, no confrontation is needed. What would be the point? When breaking up with him, just calmly tell him that you discovered his untruth and that you can't handle being with someone that will lie to you. It doesn't matter HOW you found out. If you "LOVE" him, and breaking up isn't your intention, just calmly make him aware that you know and see what he has to say for himself. He has no right to feel betrayed or distrusted...he was the one who lied!!!! If he hadn't lied, then you would have been 100% wrong in violating his privacy.

What I'm curious about.....is why would you be angry at someone that wasn't smart enough to keep you hoodwinked? A relationship should consist of mutual respect, trust, & honesty. Most of the time when you catch someone in a lie, it's not the first time they've lied to you....nor will it be the last. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Honey, this is nothing new to any of us, especially women. I used to do the same thing and when it was brought up, i was the one in trouble for going through his things. You have to trust your own instincts on this one. It also depends on what you found and what it is he lied about. if it's something that you feel might have an effect on the relationship, such as something regarding another female, then yes by all means bring it up because he had to reason to lie about such things in the first place. However, if it is something that is not destructive to the relationship, then keep it to yourself because you were wrong as well and it might backfire where you get in trouble. So just use your judgment, but if it happens again and again, then by all means bring it up at no cost and hold your ground so you wont feel bad about what you found!!!!!!! Good Luck honey

Answer 4

I believe in snooping when my gut tells me something is wrong because my gut has not been wrong. Every time I felt I needed to snoop I found something, as you did. The trick though is to use the information that was found. Usually what we end up doing is confronting him, he lies and makes up excuses and we go along with it. Then we spend our time paranoid waiting for the next gut feeling/snooping session only to find something else. The whole point in snooping is to get your gut feelings verified and to move on and not waste any more time if something is found. Can you make the right decision after snooping or will you stay with him and drive yourself crazy ? If your going to wind up staying anyway why let him know you snooped ? The whole dynamic of the relationship changes at that point and only become worse for you. At the end of the day, he lied to you. Only people who are doing wrong need to lie.

Answer 5

Yeah, it is plausible that it should be a typo on the detention center internet website. For years my sister's age became performing on files as being 8 years older than she actual became, and no one quite knew how that occurred. And once you do a public search for on my father, my sister's call comes up as a universal alias. (?) so as that type of stuff occurs each and each and every of the time. in spite of the indisputable fact that, the undeniable reality that he's been in detention center (i don't understand why, yet) makes him look like a probably shady personality and doubtless no longer the most person-pleasant guy. attempt to do a public records search for on him. many circumstances they are going to list the fellow's age. Or attempt to get carry of his motive force's license. the reality also that he's asking YOU to do the search for his pal's launch date (why get your nineteen 365 days previous innocuous gf keen about detention center crap) factors to the undeniable reality that he can't do it himself. distinctive human beings of their mid 1930s early 1940s nevertheless don't understand a thanks to apply the web because it wasn't in use when we were in college. it truly is yet another signal he should be thirty seven. quite, you pick to eliminate him and locate someone your own age who isn't an ex con.

Answer 6

well this ones pretty hard... bc you spied on him to find out if he's lying and found out he was lying so really he can say that you need to trst him... but hoow can you trust him if he lied already. maybe you two should compromise... a lie for a lie... and settle it and then promise eachother not to lie again... and then see who can actually keep that promise...