help, i dont know what action to take?

Question

my baby girl is 5 months old and was playing happily in her bouncer when my friends son who is 21 moinths came up and bit her arm really hard so hard infact that he riped her skin even though she was wearing an long sleeved vest and a long sleeved top, she screemed so hard and i got such a shock that i just grabbed her and held her i didnt even realise how bad she was biten, when i looked at her arm i cryed, nothing like this has ever happend to her before.
before i realized what i had done i shouted at the boy to get out of the room as i felt like i could have killed him. his mother got all defencive and told me not to shut at him as he is just a baby,
i realize i could have handeled it better but this is not the first time this boy has done something like this he is always hitting and biting other children, he destroys my house everytime he come up and he has no remorse about what he has done, i personally think there might be a more serius problem then him just being "bold".......

as he shows no emotion when he does these things, what do u think it could be and how should i approch his mother about this?

Answer 1

Honey , none wants to hear from anyone how to deal with their children it is just human nature, you or me might accept an advise but from what you are saying about her reaction towards what happened with your girl I say she just won't listen and she will get all defensive. Now you have in a clever way not let her child near your kid and I think from the way the mother is reacting she knows that something is wrong with her boy but she doesn't want to admit it to herself and she needs someone to blame so my advice don't be that one. Hope your girl is OK. Bless her heart

Answer 2

She better start controlling her son's behavior...baby or not. No day care facility will take a biter. Truthfully, the best way to cure a baby from biting is to immediately bite back, but sounds like you don't have that option.

I would limit the amount of time I invite that friend over for sure. It is NOT ok for her to let her son act like that.

Dos and Don'ts for Curing the Biting Phase
Although the risk of injury from a toddler's bite is small, the event can be upsetting to all concerned.
Biting into an apple is a good thing. Biting into a playmate is not. Toddlers, especially when they're frustrated or angry, may dig their teeth into a playmate. Most are confused that their friends don't react calmly -- as an apple would. Keep in mind that children who bite almost never do so to be intentionally nasty. In virtually all cases, the biter feels emotionally overwhelmed and may be acting out his or her stress. Here are some suggestions for dealing with this behavior.

http://www.parents.com/parents/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/parents/story/data/3120.xml&catref=prt105

Answer 3

The other mother should have taken him and either bit him back to show him how that feels or some type of discipline. If I was you, I would talk to the other mother, advise her how you felt about what happened and tell her if he insists on being mean, then he don't need to be there. If she continues to let him do these things, he will grow up and think it's okay. After a few months old, children need to start learning boundaries, what is okay and not okay.

Answer 4

I would have been angry too. You did take her in to the doc or ER right?
Besides that important stuff, how differently would you have felt if it was your 21 month old son who had bit your daughter?
Most likely he was doing it for attention, all 2 year olds think is that it's "all about them, and no one else exists", which is very normal for this age.
Keep in mind he doesnt realize what consequnces his actions have, he is too still learning. Although he is getting a grasp around this age what is right and what's wrong, but he doesnt quite understand what will happen when he does it. That is how he is learning, by Trial and Error.

And if this isn't the first time it has happened, you should think about taking yourself out of those conditions altogether so it cant happen again.


Try to keep your calm about it.

Answer 5

First and most importantly...did you take your baby to the emergency room after this boy bit her? The human mouth is filthy and filled with bacteria and she could get a nasty infection if it's not taken care of properly, especially since this kid broke her skin when he bit her. She probably needs antibiotics...

Secondly, this child's mother is making excuses for him. At 21 months old, this boy probably understands everything that is said to him. When a child this age is told no, they know what it means. And not all children bite...my 28 month old has never been a biter. Neither is his 12 month old brother.

Answer 6

Honestly, your friend needs to take responsibility for her brat. He sounds like such an annoying child, she probably gives him what he wants when he wants it. If he's old enough to bite your daughter, he's old enough to get spanked so he understands that what he did was wrong and under no circumstances should he do that again to anyone. Obviously your friend is a crappy parent that has no idea how to discipline her child. It sounds like the bite was pretty serious, I don't think I would want that child around my baby. If you don't want him to harm your relationship w/ your friend then I would keep a close eye on the brat whenever they come around.

Answer 7

The boy is not being disciplined by his mother and as a consequence he is a danger to other children and to himself.

This is a SERIOUS parenting problem that the mother of the boy needs to resolve, not you. A 21 month old is more than old enough to be taught not to be violent to others, in a non-violent way, by showing him that anti-social action gets him segregated from others.

Unfortunately, you will have to be honest with her and tell her you cannot have her son around your daughter because he is a danger to her. You are not responsible for her child, and do not have rights to discipline her child, but you are responsible for keeping your child out of harm's way.

I once heard a wonderful piece of advice on discipline and children: a disciplined child is a child with the freedom to explore the world. because they have self-control. An undisciplined child is imprisoned by their lack of control, as they will be rejected by others and will not be welcomed into new situations.

Answer 8

Some children bite and some children hit. Its not uncommon.. You shouldn't have yelled at him like that though, he doesn't know right from wrong yet. I think if you don't like the way he behaves stop inviting your friend and her son over, its as easy as that. Did you take your child to the dr? You should she could easily develop an infection.

Answer 9

Never ever EVER let that kid in your house again! I had a child bite my kid in my house and they were never invited back. A home is supposed to be safe for a child. Safe isn't biting hitting children. Tell her that for your friendship and your baby's safety, her son cannot come over until he is no longer biting or hitting. I would have reacted just as strongly as you did. Poor baby!!

Answer 10

If hes 21 months hes old enough to know better unless of course his mother didn't teach him that. I would tell the mother if she wants your children to play together than she needs to keep a better eye on her child so this wont happen again. Your reaction was totally normal.