She has a lot of guy friends, and in my opinion that is trouble, she won't tell me if she has slept with any of them in the past etc. I know from past experience that a lot of guys will be friends with a girl in order to try and sleep with them, give me some of your opinions.
2006-07-12 04:20:15 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, I'm sure all of you girls telling me not to worry wouldn't mind if your boyfriend had a lot of attractive girls who are 'friends' that he hung out with.
2006-07-12 06:53:29 · update #1
Also, I hate hearing "The past is the past" the past makes us who we are, you can't just sweep things under the rug because they are inconveinient
2006-07-12 06:54:34 · update #2
well if she wont tell you if she has slept with any of them then yes you should be worried.
2006-07-12 04:24:22 · answer #1 · answered by araynalynn 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
In my past, most of my friends were guys (to clarify, my group of friends spread out accross the province as we grew older) and I was able to maintain relationships that were purely platonic.
You're right, some guys will be friends with girls to get sex, but not all of them, or at least not all the time. And so what? That doesn't mean she's having sex with them. That doesn't mean she wants to have sex with them. Perhaps they're a fun crowd, she relates to them, she enjoys their company.
I think you may be projecting your fears on her. You're insecure about your relationship so you're making an issue where there may be none. You may feel you have the right to know her sexual history, but perhaps she feels it's none of your business.
You need to tell her HONESTLY how you feel, and let her choose whether she wants to disclose more. The bottom line is you can't force her to reveal anything she doesn't want to, nor can you make her discontinue her friendships with these guys. She has the right to persue friendships with anyone she chooses, and learn from those experiences.
2006-07-12 04:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by Chryss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of your business with whom she has slept. (Just as it is none of her business with whom YOU have slept.) That stuff is supposed to be private and in the past; your relationship with her is supposed to be between the two of you and in the present. (You wouldn't want her telling her next boyfriend all about her sex life with you, would you ? Jesus, people - get a grip - that stuff is not for serial monogamy consumption!)
Now then, no - it is not automatically a bad thing that she has a lot of friends that are male. And it's pretty stereotypical to suggest that it is "trouble" if she does. I assume that YOU must only befriend females in order to have sex with them, otherwise you wouldn't "know from past experience" that such is the main reason a guy befriends a female.
Here's a thought: there is more to life than sex and 50% of the world's population should not be off-limits for the rest of the things in life. While men and women do, indeed, relate differently as far as their gender goes (meaning women relate differently to women than they do to men and the same with men), it doesn't mean that they are genetically, hormonally and due to testosterone unable to relate to the opposite sex on a level other than their genitalia.
The bottom line for you is to concentrate on your relationship with her - if she can be trusted, then it doesn't matter WHY the male friends in her life are her friends. If she can't be trusted, then there is nothing in the world YOU could do to stop an inevitable betrayal.
And, in the meantime, you might try seeing women as human beings rather than sexual objects. It's just an idea, mind you....
2006-07-12 04:30:22 · answer #3 · answered by two 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly feel that her personality as a whole is honest and that she is not the kind of girl who would sneak around and lie, then sure its fine. I was the kind of girl who had a few close girlfriends and hung out with ALL GUYS always, it was just what I was used to in my own life growing up as the youngest of 5 being the only girl.
Some girls are intelligent enough to realize that some other girls can be catty little bitches and most that are, aren't worth the time it takes to get around the bullsh*it to make friends with them. All of the girlfriends I did have, were just like me. We never dated these guys, they were our good friends. All musicians, all beautiful, all dating other girls... Who all hated us by the way!
2006-07-12 04:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past. Do you want her to judge you for the things you've done in the past? Some girls just get along better with guys than girls. Do you know she's coming home to you? Do you know that YOU make her happy? Is she easy? Just because a guy wants to have sex with her doesn't mean that she'll do it. Trust man, you gotta give it to get it.
2006-07-12 04:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by wondering 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had tons of guy friends when I was younger and had time to have friends. I didn't want to sleep with any of them and never did. When I would get a boyfriend they generally trusted me. If they didn't then the relationship didn't last very long. So I guess you have to ask your self, Do you trust her? If you don't then is it worth it to worry about her constantly? You most likely aren't going to get her to stop being friends with them.
2006-07-12 04:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by MommaOne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats not always true....i get along better with guys SOOO much better than with girls...guys are just easier for me to be myself around and there fore ihave like SOO many guy friends! i still have friends that are girls, but guys are more fun to me! she probably hasn't slept with them because if she did, she would be embarassed and wouldn't hang around them as much. you may also consider that she has more in common with guys like she likes sports a lot or something. she could have been a tomboy growing up and relates to guys better (thats me!) dont judge her or accuse her of anything. if she had the guy friends before you, they are probably good guys and you should give them a chance. try and be friendly too and try and find out what your g/f has done...if anything if you are that worried. i wouldn't be too worried about it, its always more fun to be comfortable in this kind of situation. you can talk to her about it, but don't judge her!!!!! that is the WORSE thing you can do! i hope this helps:)
2006-07-12 04:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by super girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, worry about it. It's okay to worry about it and tell her about your worries, but don't make her stop being friends with them. I have a few guy friends, however, I would never sleep with them or cheat on my boyfriend (I'm single now) with one of them. I don't know about your girlfriend, but there is only so far that trust can extend. Let her know now. Best of luck. e-mail me if you want to talk more.
2006-07-12 04:43:09 · answer #8 · answered by iambic_chatterbox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isnt a big deal. At least it shouldnt be. A girl can have friends. She is going to need them. Guy friends are good to have because they are more fun to talk to. Girl friend for her are like best friend and you dont get upset that she has a lot of girl firneds. It is just a thing that most women like to have: guy friends.
2006-07-12 04:23:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey- back off of her- i have a guy who is doing the same thing to me and it SUCKS!!! i am a very attractive girl, cant help it that i have a lot of guy friends... do they want to sleep with me, who knows? but the point is, im not sleeping with them, you need to be more understanding and not so jealous- people are gonna do what they want you cant stop or change that- but keep acting like you are you are going to loose her... TRUST ME
2006-07-12 04:23:55 · answer #10 · answered by blahblahblah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WARNING: My opinion may be disappointing.
I will say you should not worry. This is because it is from such acts that bitter jealousy, hatred, mall ice and resentment spring up. Above all, it is always the beginning of feelings of inferiority complex. Your love for each other should overcome anything else.
Take care.
2006-07-12 04:29:36 · answer #11 · answered by Sage_Learner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋