how do you tell your mother in law that she is overstaying her welcome? When she is staying for 3 months.?

Answer 1

Wow! That is too long for anyone's mother or mother-in-law to stay in their house.

Have you tried discussing this with your spouse...after all it is HIS mother. How does HE FEEL about his mother coming to visit for so long?

Unless your mother-in-law is completely destitute with no place to go, or rarely gets to visit because she is from a different country (such as Europe) there is no reason for her to stay with you and your husband for that length of time.

If she is already there, then no matter how you tell it to her, she is probably going to be upset. The idea is be as neutral-sounding as possible when you do decide to tell her. The important thing is for you to have your husband's backing when you do this, in case he is too afraid to tell his mother himself.

You might try telling her that....

"As much as we enjoy your company, and would love to have you visit (or are happy to have you here with the two of you) we both feel that as a couple we simply aren't getting enough privacy and while it's no reflection on you, it is putting a strain on our relationship with one another..."

As I said she may not handle this well, no matter how you tell it to her...but you and your husband might want to consider the fact that your
mother-in-law's actions are both inconsiderate insensitive. Once you and your husband let her know your JOINT feelings about her visit, she may decide to cut her visit short right then and there.

If that happens, let her go, don't allow her to guilt either one of you into letting her stay. Just tell her that it has been great having her visit, and that you both look forward to seeing her again. However, if after you tell her about your need for privacy, she still persists on staying the whole 3 months, you may have have to tough it out until she leaves. Then the next time she suggests visiting, tell her that the two of you were thinking of coming to visit her for awhile.

Either way...and I hate to say this...you will probably come out the 'bad guy' in this situation.
If so, don't even worry about it...just let it roll off of you, like water off of a duck's back..these things happen from time to time and it's all part of being a family.

Good Luck~*

Answer 2

Well you definitely have a problem. First of all your spouse should lead the charge in getting this thing resolved.

Is the already in the house? Or is this just the plan...that she come for 3 months? And is she coming from far, far away...overseas? Is she sleeping on the couch or does she have her own room?

If she's already here then perhaps you could come up with a convenient plan to renovate 'her' bedroom? Or perhaps one of your relatives could announce that they're coming to visit....so the room would be needed?

If none of things work and your spouse isn't willing to take her on then I suggest you get her to help out around the house ALOT! Perhaps a few weeks of that may convince her that you aren't the Holiday Inn and she'd be better off at home.

Answer 3

Ouch what are her circumstances? Is she getting a divorce, without a job or home??? Or did she just visit and never leave. I would talk to your husband and let him know that enough is enough. You love your mother in law but there needs to be some boundaries set. You cannot live comfortably with her there you sex life will suffer if it isnt already. Among other things she is an adult and needs to leave unless of course there are extenuating circumstances

Answer 4

Before you tell her anything - you better check with your husband. You don't want any friction from your other half because of it. Let your husband with your input make that statement to her not you. There must be a reason why she's staying so long and you may not have the full story perhaps. Talk to your husband and ask.

Answer 5

nicely i'll extremely relate , i'm 16 and have not considered my father because i replaced into 6 or 7 years old and that i nevertheless undergo in ideas him like it replaced into very last year.anyhow very last year my mom emailed me and informed me that my father had died.... an finished year earlier she emailed.And it wasn't even because she felt I had to carry close , it replaced into so she would have me locate out the position precisely he had died so she ought to money from his lack of life(he replaced right into a veteran) .And thats not even it yet , imagine being 15 years old and having to inform all 5 older siblings that the dad they grew up with is useless and had a completly new kin. i have continually concept-about monitoring down my father because I lost contact with him yet extremely what replaced into I going to assert to him when I chanced on him? "hi i'm the little female you deserted 9 years in the past , wanna seize up?" ....often times i imagine it will be extra valuable if my mom in no way informed me in any respect because now i'll't even artwork up the opt to grieve for him.

Answer 6

Tell your husband to tell his mom to get gone. I feel for ya. I know what its like to have a mom in the relationship. I've seen it with my brother and my cousins. Whew. Just talk to ur husband and if he wont say anything be honest with his mom and be like look we need some time for ourselves.

Answer 7

OMG My heart goes out to you. You could try going on a short trip out of town and see if she leaves when you do.

Answer 8

Your question and others like it make me a little envious...
My mother-in-law is permanently living with me and my husband. Be glad yours doesn't.
But... if you can afford it, offer to pay for a hotel room... she might take a hint. ; )

Answer 9

Don't think you better do it. Your spouse is the best bet if they will. TOUCHY!!!

Answer 10

Try-Are you still here?
( it worked for me)