I went to use his phone and noticed that he has been talking to her every night for hours at a time, even on nights he chose to not call me. He admitted to talking to her and then told me they went out to dinner while I was out of town. One night he called her at midnight, then again at 4:30am. I am worried about this, although he has been seemingly honest about their, "friendship". He said he never cheated, he is thirty-seven and I am twenty-seven and we are both single parents. He says and does things that show me that he is very serious about our connection. Our intimacy is very emotionally intertwined. I am so CONFUSED! He broke up with as soon as I got back from my trip, then got back together with me, then we broke up again, now back together. I have given him tons of opportunities to let go of our relationship but he never takes the easy out. Just last night, he told me he thought I could perhaps be the "one". Then this happens.
2006-07-12 04:11:00 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One night, about a week ago, he made dinnr plans with me, then at the last minute said he was going to pop by a restaurant where his friends were hanging out. I was pissed. I now look at his phone and see he really called her at that time. I think he may have seen her that night.
2006-07-12 04:16:42 · update #1
you cant start a realtionsdhip like that. be friends but thats it. you really cant trust him.
2006-07-12 04:15:05 · answer #1 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK if they were just friends I doubt he would be sneaking to see her. (i.e. breaking date at the last minute and calling her).I would also say that breaking it off with you as soon as you got back is a sign there was more to it then he is telling you. He spent an awful lot of time talking and etc with her while you are away. I would say he is confused. He don't know if he wants to be with you or pursue this new person. (were you aware of this "friend" before your trip? or did she just suddenly appear in his life?) That could make a difference. Of course all anyone can do is speculate. But it does sound really fishy to me. If you love this guy take things slow. Just don't be naive and let your guard down.
2006-07-12 11:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by geni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would drop him ASAP. You've only been with him for four months anyways. He's not worth all the b/s. If you are going through this so soon in your relationship just think of the hell he'll put you through in a few years. He's obviously not as serious about your relationship as you are. He is leading you on by telling you one thing and doing another. And besides how many friends do you call at 4:00 AM? I would say only a booty call! DROP HIM!
2006-07-12 11:17:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay this is a confusing one. You need to sit him down and ask him where this relationship is going, don't take any excuses like well you MIGHT be the one NO either you are or your not! Tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him talking to this other girl friend or not! Just have a long heart to heart talk with him and try to work it out!
2006-07-12 11:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by flutter_by_baby20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably genuinely cares for you, but he's just not ready to make a real committment. I wouldn't necessarily call his dating a deal-breaker because it appears he's being honest, but you should be careful about letting your feelings for him get too serious until he demonstrates a real committment to just you.
Best thing to do is listen to your own feelings and don't expect more than he is willing to give you. Keep your heart open but don't let him take advantage. If you ever feel used or like he's playing games...leave. If you don't feel that way...wait and see.
2006-07-12 11:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by lost_irish_75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think of your kid(s) first and quit trying to date. You will find the right guy, but don't let looking for him take the place of taking care of and nurturing your child(ren). He is obviously taking up a lot of your time and emotion. Drop it and explain that you don't have time for games. If he's serious, he'll step back and give you space to take care of you and not date anyone else. If he's not serious, then you don't need the trouble.
2006-07-12 11:17:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be stupid, break it off with him, because you are stressing your self off of something that you don't need. You can and will do better. I don't like the act how he went out on a dinner date with her while you where out of town. At least he could have respected you by going out with her while you were in town.
You don't need him, it is too many fish in the ocean for you to be play with this one. Move on and never forget your past chapters.
2006-07-12 11:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by Tasha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's jerking you around while he makes up his mind, which is unfair to both you and your child. Why put up with the drama? Why would you want to be with him in the first place? He's a flake.
Tell him that you want a boyfriend you can depend on, and you can't depend on him and don't want to see him any more. You can do better...and even if you can't do better, you're better off without him! Good luck and take care of yourself.
2006-07-12 11:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by mybrilcareer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd move on. At 37, he should know that this is simply playing a mind game with you and another woman. He won't change and if he keeps this up, will eventually cheat. If you're not enough for him in every way, you don't need him!
2006-07-12 11:16:15 · answer #9 · answered by yogazen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to be the one to tell you but he needs to go he just cant be trusted .If he will do it once know that he will keep doing it maybe not with her but with someone else after all he did get by with it .Your not the one for him you have a heart and your are honest and loyal .Doesnt seem that anyone would be that wants someone to be honest with them .You deserve better .I know I had to learn the hard way and believe me it will hurt way more if you keep waiting for him to stop and come to reality.
2006-07-12 11:19:54 · answer #10 · answered by shelly29710 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's a deal-breaker and it sounds as though it should have been over a while ago. Don't hang on just because you have "someone" - grow up and be a mother to your kids.
2006-07-12 11:16:29 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋