I want two things for our new house, but I'm not permitted?

Question

We bought a house and moved in past October. I gave my wife total responsibility for decorating and other additional stuff, I put down tile, we paid for painters, she's made curtains, etc, etc. Some of the stuff I don't particularly care for, but I've went along with because its important to her. I really only want two things for the house: a bigger deck and a big screen TV. Not allowed. 100 excuses are given why not, even after she's picked out 98% of what's in the house. Am I wrong to feel this is selfish and inflexible? I haven't seen anything to feel a compromise is even possible. Ideas on how to approach this? Why does it seem like things are one way...HER way?

Great answers thus far. Additionally: I've mentioned the potential financial benefit of a bigger deck, mainly because all the decks in our subdivision are too small (should we sell of course). As for the TV, I presented it as a benefit for entertaining, having company, girls night or guys night at our house...one of the comments made was "a TV shouldn't be the focal point of a room" (i.e. it isn't having the TV, its because of the "decor").

The difficult thing to understand about the TV situation is that she watches at least TEN times the amount of TV I do! I really don't like TV. But I've always wanted a big screen so when something comes on I want to see, it'll be that much better. Stanley Cup parties with my teammates, parties at our house with other couples, Super Bowl parties, whatever.

Answer 1

How extremely cold of her to do this to you! Me and my boyfriend just bought a house last year and we have been remodeling a little here and a little their, using our budget of course. neither one of us tell each other no on this idea or th at. I would get your wife to tell you her reasons behind the sudden no. explain to her that you need to understand the situations. Do not tell her though she is being selfish and self-centered. that will make it worse. did you put most of the money down or her? cause if you did, you have even more reason to get your say in. not fair man..not fair. talk to her and hopefully she will come around. to me big screen tv. and deck sound awesome!!! good luck.

Answer 2

On the TV, it can *become* part of the decor, if she is creative enough. Saw several great designer shows, one where they did a theater room and hid the TV behind velvet drapes that swept aside to watch (okay, probably not your style, but *any* sacrifice to get it in the house, right!!), another where it was recessed into the wall and framed like painting -- then a DVD player can be added and your photos can be put up on screen as constantly changing slide-show artwork!! Or even copies of Old Masters or other artwork she might like. Or hang a flat-screen. Pricey, but easier to make look good with this concept.

Below is a link to HGTV article with some ideas on how to do it -- maybe she can check the site for other ideas as well. Good luck.

Answer 3

Depending on the situation I could see reasons for her not wanting a big screen tv but why not a bigger deck. IF the deck will not require taking up flower beds or cutting down trees i don't see any reason not to do it. That wasteh first improvemnt I made to my house 2 years ago and I am so glad I did it. Draw up your plan and show it to her and see if she has any ideas to include. If there is something she particularly likes incorporate a place for it in the plan.

Answer 4

Ask her to give rational reasons as to why you cannot have a bigger deck area and a big screen tv. If she can't then explain to her how important this is to you and if that doesn't work then you two should compromise.. perhaps one room of the house (i.e. basement area or attic?) can be your room for the big-screen tv! Let her know that you were very accomodating with her redecoration ideas. Just remember don't argue! Try and remain even when putting your points across.

Answer 5

By leaving everything(95%as you say) to her you have nurtured in her a state of mind where she feels any deviation in her plans an uncalled for intervention. As you yourself say that you hardly watch TV and she almost monopolised it why are you not leaving this matter of screen size to her liking. By her remakr that the tv is not meant tobe the centre of attration for the visitors I feel that she is quite mature in household matters. Her objection to a bigger deck may also be motivated by a reluctance to convert her home and hearth to a dramatic hall. You appear to be goaded by extraneous consideration rather than good housekeeping. Or is some chauvinist male rearing his horned within you? Disarmingly admit to yourself that your tastes are rather uncouth and leave these matters to her judgement. By the way don't you have any children who have some say in the matter or both of you consider themselves to be 'just kids'. Do not commit that mistake, either of you, always invite them for discussion when you are going to go in for something. Finally you may carry the day but the children will feel honoured they have been consulted.

Answer 6

Your monetary corporation is better worried about the artwork you probably did than what has occurred previous on your possession. they purely do not pick to remodel to a everyday till they have info each and each and every of the artwork is done to guard their funding. Your contractor pulled his facilitates. The construction dept received't signal off on those facilitates except the artwork is done as a lot as code. once the construction dept has signed off on that artwork that should be adequate for the monetary corporation. city inspectors bypass out each and every morning between 8 and 10, and then back each and every afternoon between 2 and four. Get on their list for an inspection pronto.

Answer 7

well from my experience as a woman we have three things that we dream of when we are children.......our wedding, our first home & how many children we want and their names. in her mind she is not being selfish she is only followinh her dream. i think the best way to approach the situation is to let her know u understand her vision however u want just a tiny input. explain to her how the bigger deck would bennifit her and as for the tv brib her.........just kiddin. There is no real way to get her to go for the tv so u have to do a lot of beggin for that one but the deck shoukd not be that hard. let her know what she means to u and how u want the house to be a joint decision. my husband is the same way as u r he gives me the freedom to do as i please as far as our home but he loves his video games and anything electronic so that was the only thing he wanted ........to be able to get a real entertainment center (thats what he called it not me). good luck and congrats on ur new home.



ps. she loves u so it should not be hard for her to realize that she should at least consider ur request

Answer 8

Your to liberal with your woman.. What are you MAN or MOUSE? I mean its so obvious she is using the TV and Deck as a tool to control you... I'd just go out and buy these items. Seriously, ask yourself why is this an issue for her? (sounds like you got the money to afford it ) Because, its all about her controlling you! YOU NEED to Man up bro!

Answer 9

All of us men want a bigger deck. Watch the Jeff Foxworthy special on big decks and you will have your reasons. Size does matter.

Answer 10

I would tell her some of the great reasons why the deck and t.v. would be a great asset. The deck would be great for partys and romantic dinners. And the t.v. would be awesome when she wants to watch movies with her girlfriends or stare at her favorite soap opra star hahah!