My son gets upset when Daddy leaves, how can we help our little guy through this?

Question

My husband is going to school right now to be a mechanic, so he is in school from 7:30am (he usually goes early to study...) to 1:30pm. Then he goes to work until at least 8:00pm during the week. He also works on Saturday from 7:30am to around 5:30pm. Unless my two-year-old son is in a really good deep sleep he wakes up when my husband is getting ready to leave. Our little guy instists on getting out of bed and following his daddy around the house. My husband ususally has a few minutes to sit with him (our son is too tired to try to play anything) and most of the time our son asks to watch one of his movies. So my husband will put one in and finish getting ready, then watch it with him for a few minutes if he has time before he needs to leave. My son follows Daddy to the door and cries when he leaves, he does this whether I'm in the room or not. I know that this is pretty normal since right now he doesn't get to spend a lot of time with his daddy, but how can we help him?

Is this odd: although my son gets upset when daddy leaves, he ususally doesn't get very excited when my husband comes home? He does like to see his daddy and gives him a hug, but most of the time doesn't have much of a reaction. Why is there such a difference?

Answer 1

first of all kudos to your husband for working to make your lives better. Sounds like sunday is his only reall day off. Have him and daddy have a full day together...that should ease it a little. Of course this is probably not possible EVERY sunday, but it will help.

Answer 2

Have your husband spend some special Daddy time with your son. If its right after he gets home at 8 or maybe on his day off. Your sons greatest fear is that your hubby will leave and not come home. Reassuring your son when your hubby leaves for the day that Daddy will be back later will help. My son does the same thing. My husband is in the military and leaves for 3-14 days at a time. Most times when he is gone he doesn't get to talk to his Daddy because he calls when he is in bed. Your son just needs the reassurance that Daddy will be back. Take a picture of your hubby and give it to your son. Let him carry it around during the day. Help him write Daddy a letter while he is at school or work. Doing special things for Daddy while he is gone will help him cope. Good luck!

Answer 3

Is there any possible way to take your son to work?...Meaning, maybe try this, can you possibly drive your husband to work one or two days a week and pick him up? If your son gets to get ready for work with daddy and help take daddy to work, it might help him realize that daddy isn't running away and not coming back. He will actually get to see one of the places daddy goes, then you and your son leave daddy's work, go home and go back together later to pick him up. Boys get a kick out of being big man of the house and taking daddy to work. It might help, just an idea for you to try. You definitely do not want it to be an everyday occurance, but maybe on Saturdays would be a good day to start, then possibly say on Wednesdays, since that is the middle of the week. I hope this will help some. I wish you the best of luck with this. Eventually your son will be just fine with daddy going to work.

Answer 4

It is a phase to a point but your husband is gone quite a bit so that is really hard on him. My boys went through it with me and with my husband at separate times. When my husband would leave for work (when he worked night shift) they would cry and want Daddy to come back to tuck them into bed. And when I would go to school they would follow me to the door crying. The best way to curb the situation is actually for YOU to start spending special time with him while your husband is getting ready or after he has left. That way he has something to look forward to after Daddy leaves. And just as important your hubby needs to have special time with him after he gets home if possible. Maybe eating a special treat together before bed or reading him a special bedtime story that is only their own. It gives him something to look forward to when Daddy gets home. The most important thing to do is remind your child that even though Daddy isn't home he still misses him and will spend special time with him when he gets home. And if that means you have to adjust his bedtime a little bit that's okay too. I think that special activities that only you and he or he and Daddy only do will help him.

Answer 5

My son is 10 months old and when he is tired and still trying to wake up he does not want me out of his sight. I believe that it is just the fact that your husband does not have a lot of time to spend with him and your son is craving his attention at that moment because he is tired. When your husband comes home your son has already had a full day of playing and fun without dad and therefore he is not as "excited" as you think he should be. My suggestion is have your husband spend as much time with your son as he can and then make a game of when it is time to go. Separation anxiety is normal at this age and will fade, but can be made easier when you make a game out of it. Blow kisses to him, play peek a boo from behind the front door and always make sure to tell him bye-bye and that you will be back soon. Some kids have a harder time with separation than others, but he will be fine.

Answer 6

My son used to do the same thing. He will get over it eventually. When daddy leaves he may not understand that he is coming back. even though he has seen it happen many times. Maybe the reason he doesn't get existed when daddy comes home is because he knows that he is there, and he is comfortable with it.


Maybe daddy should spend some one on one time with him after he gets home from work. I know it is late when he gets home but they could read together, watch one of his movies, play cars, or something like that. Just something that would make your son feel special, and like he is getting alot of daddy and me time.

Good Luck to you. I know it is stress full, but it will get better. I hated seeing my son hurt when daddy left 4 work.

Answer 7

Well, this is normal behaivior for toddlers. Sounds as if he has a little seperation anxiety. Make sure your husband gives him a hug and kiss before he leaves and tells him goodbye. Never let him sneak off. Then take your son and get him interested in something immeadiatly such as breakfast or play dough, or anything. Play with your son and have fun after dad leaves do not go back to bed. He may associate dad's going to work with his going back to bed. oops, didn't mean to make you feel guilty.
This may not be the case at all, but try to make it fun when dad leaves.

Answer 8

My son gets upset when I leave for work, as well. He's 3 years old and it kind of tears me up when says "Daddy, don't go. Let Mommy go to work." I think this is natural. Children will alternate (sometimes daily) on bonding between each parent. He's figured out that Mommy is good for comfort and Daddy is good for fun. All children go through a phase of separation anxiety and it's actually healthy if you work through it with them. Let them know Daddy "always" comes back and that Daddy loves to spend time with him but has obligations. He may think his Daddy is leaving because he doesn't want to be with him although he may not be able to express this to you. Give him lots of love and help him to feel secure and he'll work through it.

Answer 9

While it sounds like your trying to be good parents, your lifestyle is preventing the father from being around to raise your child. I see this all the time. Working parents that drop off their child at a day care and then at home they set their kid in front of the TV so the child can watch it's favorite TV shows or maybe it's video games. Either way the giant mansion needs to be paid for and the cable bill, the Internet bill, the cell phone bill, garbage, water, electricity, gas, car payment(s) , credit cards, groceries, gasoline and a dozen more things need to be paid too.


I think it's a bunch of crap, your child needs to get over the separation anxiety. If you baby the kid he will grow up to be needy and not able to motivate him/herself to be a successful person.

Answer 10

this is normal my 2 year old daughter is the same way with her father she wants to go to hen bath room with him etc... so what he does is he spends more time with her what i suggest you do is instead of studing at school or some place else study at home let the father put him to bed or maybe change work hours to 10.30 -6.30am when your husband leave explain to him daddy will return. or give hem a couple of dollars that works some thimes with my daughter lol