Well i don't know if i come during sex or i just make myself feel like i have come.with all the guy i have had sex with i don't still look foward to sex or even feel horny that i would go out of myway for it.I think i have come with only one guy.After sex with guys i mastubate when the guy sleeps off.I felt at one point that i wasn't highly sexcally active but when i mastubete it's my thoughts that make me come and they are whoo.I was raped at 14 by a relative and a maid when i was 11.there is this guy that with him i want him even though i know i won't come.Am never relaxed.at one point i felt am a lesbian.I rather drink than have sex.I can never look at a guy and wonder what it will be like to have sex with yhis guy, it's onliy if i get to know the person.At 26 i have never had a one night stand.Do i connect it with feelings.and the guy that made me come was is very rough and aggresive.Is ti me ?and trust me it's not d size of the dick coz big ones have not do jack so far.
2006-07-12 01:55:55 · 37 answers · asked by shiva 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's all mental, being raped most likely brought this, but you can always get around it. I'm sure if you find the right guy, you'll end up a happy girl, just wait for him, and try not to over do the sex with other people you pimp lol. I'm sure you'll find happiness, we all do, it's just a matter of time and fate. Try to find someone that is more mentally appealing to you than physically, maybe. Or you can try to find someone with all of the positive traits that MR. "come" had in the past and then you'll eventually find what you are truly seeking. Good Luck!
2006-07-12 02:01:29 · answer #1 · answered by grannypincher8 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok babe, take it easy.. We all go through icky stuff, but it is the strong person who does not let the past affect the future.
As for cuming, try this. Take a nice long bath while listening to music. Use a bubble bath that is smooth and used as moisture. Then gradually feel your self. Explore and enjoy your body with you.. once you get used to it... the cuming will, no pun intended, will come. Either use your fingers, some smooth object or the stream of water from the spout or shower head.
Once you are with a man, of your choice, think of the bath and if you can use some of the technique you used in the bath while you are having sex and oral sex.
it is all about being gradual and working up to it. And do not worry, the guy will like the taking time, we WANT it fast, but we really enjoy it when it takes awhile. I am not saying I have all the secrets, but I have been around with a few lovely ladies who just needed to be ok with themselves and with the man they are with, cuz only you know what you really need.
2006-07-19 01:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by jaidecker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have been through is enough to turn anyone off sex full stop but you have had the courage to get past these issues and try to have a normal life, You are one of the most brave and strong persons I have every met.
You should speak to someone about what you have been though and what you are feeling, your question alone is full of mixed feelings and self angst.
Unless you are comfortable with your sexual partner you wont be able to have an orgasm, you need to be able to feel safe and secure, at the moment it appears that you dont trust any men but feel the need to have sex just because its what you are supposed to be doing.
There is nothing wrong with you at all, you need to find the right guy that you will feel safe with and will be able to satisfy you in bed.
There is nothing wrong with rough sex, it shows that you are a passionate and sexual woman.
Its not the size of the **** its how it is used, just because its bigger doesnt mean that it will make you orgasm.
I hope you are able to find what you are looking for.
2006-07-12 02:10:35 · answer #3 · answered by matdevine21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop thinking about not cuming when your going to have sex. Try and think of what you think about when your masturbating, while having sex.
I think the reason you came from the rough guy is because it brings you back to your first sexual experience when you were, well you know. Something like that will always stick in your mind.
The things that happened in the past has a lot to do with your sex drive now.Im not a doctor, but i think you have to find something to let that go, try not to have that on you mind so much. Im sure thats not an easy thing to do but if you want to be more motivated about sex you need to let it go.
2006-07-12 02:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by Jessie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the problem is in your head. You've got these mixed up emotions tangled up with your sexuality. Don't tell yourself that you can't orgasm, or won't orgasm. Matter of fact, don't focus on orgasms, just try to relax and enjoy yourself. If you can't do this without reliving the past, maybe you should hold off on sex for a while and take care of yourself. It's not your body, it's the inner working of your mind. Once you take care of yourself emotionally, I have a feeling you will be just fine. This is a cycle that you can break. You have to work on yourself, figure yourself out and you will be free. Don't compare yourself to other women, and what is, or isn't normal.What matters is what makes (YOU) happy and what makes you feel good. Don't pressure yourself anymore. Tell yourself you deserve better, and fight those negative feelings.
2006-07-12 02:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is physiological and complex. The dark past is still hunting you, to this I suggest you consult a counselor/sex therapist. It is not the number of times that matters. It may be that most of the boys you had sex with do not know how to carry on with fore-play. A woman needs foreplay and it takes experience to give this. A woman's system is like a locomotive, it takes long to gather speed while a man's system react like gasoline wild fire. This is where your problem is complex. It will take an understanding guy to bring you out to enjoy sex.
2006-07-12 02:05:13 · answer #6 · answered by ufan2020 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people really are not interested in sex, but with your history, you should have some therapy and may want to have a doctor screen your hormone levels. It may take a while to find a therapist you feel can help you, so don't be afraid to shop around, and remember to be careful. A lot of people set themselves up as sex therapists so they can take advantage of their patients. Check out any you are interested in with a board of registration or licensing, if there is one, or get referrals from people you trust.
2006-07-12 02:02:31 · answer #7 · answered by thylawyer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you past has a big impact on you. Leave the sex things aside and continue with your life with doin other things......Divert your mind.......M sure you'll fall in love with the right guy..........True Love will give you the passion of having sex........n trust me you will enjoy every moment of it........To get into climax it's not all about intercourse but it's more then , it needs the aligment of Love, Passion, Trust, the Touch (fore play) & Saying beautiful thing n making you feel good. All this will only come when love is present between two individuals.
2006-07-12 02:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by Ynot78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW. I am sorry about what has happened in your life. I think it has alot to do with what happened when you were yonger. There may be a mental block that your mind has put up due to the trauma you suffered. Seeking some help is what you need. If your open to alternative medicines, try hypnotherapy. Let me know what you think about this.
2006-07-12 02:01:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you really stunned us all with this one, I think you really need to talk about this with your family and partner then if that dont work go and see a therapist. Sounds like you have some real deep issues and you really need to talk to someone about them.
I hope you can get over this and move on from all the upset in your life.
2006-07-12 02:13:59 · answer #10 · answered by mrpickle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋