what I should do with her. One, she is a cigarette smoker, and I am not...I have gotten used to it and it does not bother me, but should I tell her she must quit or I will have to move on. Second, she has a very nice body, but does not show it off...I think she should wear the newer skin tight fashions to show off her assets..She said she will do it if people on this site say so...what should I do...ask her to wear these clothes since she has the body for it..I would hate to lose her, so what should i do?
2006-07-12 01:55:46 · 20 answers · asked by seth17240 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Don't try to change her. If you were attracted to her the way she is why would you now try to change her? Enjoy what you have. How would you like it if she wanted you to change?
2006-07-12 01:59:25 · answer #1 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are a few words of advice, #1 about the smoking issue, if you met her as a smoker and have dated her for this much time it really isn't fair of you to ask her to quit, how about you meet her half way, tell her very nicely in a sincere way if maybe she could cut down on the smoking or not smoke when she's with you that way you it's not soo much in your face. #2 about the way she dresses, complimenting her is a good way to start implying that she should show off her body a little more, another way to ease into it after compliments is to occassionally buy her the clothes you'd like to see her in, because it's a lot of pressure to just tell her "you should dress more revealing or slutty" know what I mean? It's all in the WAY you do it not what your doing.
Good luck and I hope things work out for you both!
2006-07-12 02:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really and truly love her, and you knew then about her smoking when you met her, the best you can do is to encourage her to quit smoking, and as for the other don't try to change her into looking or being something other than herself. People do change years into a relationship, many things about each other will surface later. She is what she is, you need to accept her for what she is, and if she is comfortable in her own skin, you are only interfering and crossing the line, wanting more than the person she truly is right now. If you don't like the way she looks, acts, and so forth, then you may not like her very well on down the road in life. And she will probably resent you for the change you may want in her. She does not have to live up to what you or society believes she is in today's world.PS Keep her the way she is, you might just both be more content. She is who she is and no more, no less.
2006-07-12 02:12:19 · answer #3 · answered by jj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally, the cigarrretes are hurting you more than her... second hand smoke is more harmful than smoking. i'm not advising you to smoke... but i think you should have her quit. since smoking is a drug basically if you smell like smoke and meet with a client or something (i'm not sure what you do for a living) they might thiink less of you since now most people are against smoking. personally i think you should let her find her own style... and not the skin tight one... maybe she could wear mopre fitting clothes, not tighter ones. just try to compliment her on what she already has and she'll soon start wanting to show off her body and figure more because she feels so good about herself.
2006-07-12 02:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by musicfish93 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you mention it on this site, it means that the smoking still bothers you.
However, I'm more concerned that you seem to be more concerned with the appearance of your girlfriend than how happy or healthy she is. A person who really cares about her would say something like, "I'm concerned about her smoking because it's bad for her health." But instead you said, "I have gotten used to it." Also, I get the impression that you want her to wear tighter clothes to show off her body for, I'm afraid, superficial reasons.
In short, I think you should analyze your relationship and see how deep it really is. It seems that you don't care about her that much.
2006-07-12 13:16:38 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smoking is an issue. It will age her looks and shorten hers & your life span. It subjects you both to diseases you may not otherwise get.
But telling her to quit? Who are you to tell her what to do? Instead, ask her to quit and offer to support and help her in any way possible.
Now, as for the clothing. GROW UP! It's her body and she gets to decide what she wears. For you to say you want her to wear skin tight clothing is about as immature as you can get.
I'm guessing you are about 20 years old. Too young to understand this, I'm sure. But if you don't lighten up with the demanding attitude and the childish acts, you aren't going to have a "superb woman" for very long.
2006-07-12 02:07:59 · answer #6 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with the first poster. Let her be who she wants to be. Things go smoother that way. If she likes conservative clothes, fine. Why show her off to others? You get to see the 'assets' and that's what's important. If she likes long, flowing dresses, then great. I think they're a total turn on. Leaves lots to the imagination.
2006-07-12 02:07:40 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Peachy® 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. She said she'd do it if people tell her to?? Doesn't sound like she's a winner to me. Very submissive. But I guess some people like that.
You shouldn't tell her to quit smoking. It's her decision to kill herself. Not yours. You CAN ask her not to smoke in your home or car though. If she wants to die a slow death, fine, but you shouldn't let her take you down with her.
You shouldn't try to force her to show off her body either. Not everyone wants or needs to be the center of attention. By you wanting her to dress in tight clothing, it's telling me that YOU need the attention. Not her. Love yourself first man! Believe that you deserve a beautiful woman, and that you don't have to prove it to everyone by making yours look like a hooker
2006-07-12 03:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by rocknrobin21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't like her as she is you should step aside and let her find someone who appriciates her as she is. Are you willing to remake yourself so she'll like you more? And if you leave her because she doesn't show off her body you didn't care for her in the first place. As far as the smoking goes she shouldn't stop smoking for you she should stop smoking for herself. You sound like you should get some clay and build yourself a woman.
2006-07-12 02:03:30 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's a shame that your lady will only wear skimpy clothes just because people on this site say so!!! i would dump her for being a conformist and not having a mind of her own!!
secondly, you should consider yourself lucky that she is not willing to publicly show off her lovely bod.... and you get it all to yourself!!! i think muslim women who cover themselves from head to toe are incredibly gorgeous....so feminine and it leaves to the imagination what is underneath!!!
i think the smoking is the only real problem.....having been there myself. either you've got to become one yourself or she has to kick the habit. all in the name of luuurrrve! good luck!!!
2006-07-12 02:08:53 · answer #10 · answered by lisa s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you man. She should dump you just for thinking this way. If you want to dump her over such silly reasons than you don't deserve her. I understand the smoking deal, but since you got used to it then shut up and count your blessing
2006-07-12 02:03:35 · answer #11 · answered by einstein 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋