I keep sabotaging or thinking the worst in every relationship I get into. My paranoia is so bad that I accuse people of things that I think later are ridiculous. I am so scared to get hurt and always looking to prove that someone is lying to me. (In the past, I've always been right) Someone help...How do I stop the madness? I think too much!!!
2006-07-12 01:46:40 · 10 answers · asked by beautifully broken 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just enjoy the person ur with and with time u will all the problems he has or doesn't have. if ur still accusing people i would say take a break from dating for a wile then try again in a couple of months. i hope this works or that u find something that does work good luck B-)
2006-07-12 01:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wish I could help you. However, I have the same problem. Exactly. Right now I am dating someone who is wonderful to me. We met while we were both working in another town (20 min. from my house). He was actually from a town 1 1/2 hours away. We began dating. Then 6 months into the relationship he gets the job offer his been waiting 10 years for. I couldn't tell him not to go (back to his old town an 1 1/2 away). He ended up asking me to go back with him because he couldn't leave me there. Anyways, long story short... I came back to live w/ him and he's so wonderful to me. But every time he leaves the house I worry that he's cheating on me. When he's on the phone I wonder who's he talking to. I too have been hurt terribly in the past and trusting people (people that love me) is hard for me. I just don't want to go through that pain again. I know this doesn't answer your question but I just wanted you to know that you aren't the only one who feels like they have to protect themselves. I hope someone out there can help us both. Good Luck.
2006-07-12 02:05:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one! You MIGHT want to consider talking to someone (counselor, etc.) to see if that would help you work some things out.
Bottom line however is that you need to remember that every person is an individual. Yes, you have run into a LOT of lousy individuals! But that doesn't mean that good people aren't out there. In the end you are gambling, for to have ANY kind of relationship with ANYONE involves at least some level of trust. Just don't be afraid to take it slow. Maybe VERY slow. Trust is earned. YOU need to remind yourself each day that each new person is COMPLETELY SEPARATE from everyone in your past and deserves to be started out with a clean slate. THEY need to remember that you've been hurt, be sensitive to that, and let you proceed slowly until they have earned your trust. I hope this helps at least a little.
2006-07-12 01:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by danl747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
Everybody is different. And giving everyone a clean chance, might reduce you being paranoid all the time. It is hard to trust someone and someone esle if bad things happen to you. Sometimes when you put i am not saying all your trust but some trust you can get som uch more good things back to you.
Don't feel like you are alone they are thousands of people suffering the same pain or even more than you. My advice take one step at a time. If you get over paranoid when your partner hasn't done anything he might start to think about this relationship
Take care
2006-07-12 01:52:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I think getting hurt in a relationship is inevitable. The point of being in a meaningful relationship is to be able to accept the mistakes you have done and allow yourself to grow from those mistakes. That's why you must keep trying to make relationships work and eventually you'll get better at it! Visit Wealthymen.com and start making relationships there!
2006-07-12 02:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to bring your past in your present trust comes with time , you just have not yet found the right person yet to feel safe and secure with ,keep looking he is out there .
2006-07-12 02:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what your saying, only time will allow u 2 b able 2 trust again, there is no quick fix, u probably been through some rough times so the only way u know how 2 react is by having your guard up, in time u will learn how 2 trust again, goodluck.
2006-07-12 01:55:54 · answer #7 · answered by D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having faith in others is believing; having belief in ourselves is having faith
Treat everybody as an individual and allow the trust to be broken before doubting them. When others has hurt it's easy to judge all as one, but you may find that you'll be leading a lonely life if can't find the faith to believe in others...
I wish you luck
God Bless You xxx
2006-07-12 01:57:12 · answer #8 · answered by WW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI,
I have the exact same problem. I have not been able to figure it out, which is frustrating because i genreally consider myself to be a rational person....so I am now considering Therapy as an option
2006-07-12 01:54:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jane D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well don't think about what happned in the past. Try to be around people who will never hurt you ( your best friends,etc...) try to learn how to trust people if you want them to trust you.
2006-07-12 01:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋