My mate Cathy is morbidly obese, and although she pretends to be doing something about it, she blatantly isn't. On a work night out the other day, she scoffed a large meat-feast pizza, a huge slice of chocolate fudge cake with cream and dranks a load of alcohol too, having told everyone at work that day she was just going to have a salad. I really want to help her but don't want to offend her in any way. What should I do?
2006-07-12 01:05:57 · 34 answers · asked by calebolly 2 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
I can sympathise with Cathy, as I am under the "Obese" category too.
I guess it may be worth finding out why she feels the need to eat quite so much. Occasionally there is a condition when people always feel hungry and just can't stop eating - but this shouldn't be used as an excuse!!
Is there anything active that you do (and will not feel too scarey) for your friend to do? I go walking with a rambling group which I find really good fun and swimming is a fairly good way to keep fit too!
Hope it all works out well for her.
2006-07-12 01:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by Jay Jay 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The sad thing is, if she won't help herself, then all the advice in the world will not help her!!!!! Sometimes big people like to show off when eating, as if it doesn't bother them!!!!!!!
She seems to be courting attention with the over eating. If she's offended by you telling it to her straight, she must know you're right, but doesn't want to admit it!!
What about suggesting you both join weight watchers & the gym, & go with her for support, (if not the gym, a 30min walk everyday) She'll get a proper eating plan & diet sheet, you may have to baby sit her for a few weeks, until she sees some weight loss, but this should give her a confidence boost & encourage her to stick with it. Help her choose an outfit 2 sizes smaller as a goal. Taking the first step is always the hardest because she's gonna be embarrassed when she finds out what she actually weighs, cos' I bet she has no idea!!
Just stick with her cos' she obviously needs a friend like you!!
Good Luck!!
2006-07-12 01:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a chum is a chum no count how fat or skinny somebody is! It shouldn't count. i could by no skill say something like that! Years in the past my daughter stated some thing approximately yet another baby that had pimples and that i advised her she shouldn't choose human beings via the way they look and if she keeps judging them Karma will come back and bite her the place the sunlight do no longer shine. you're able to be friends with others via the way they manage you and once you have a chum it somewhat is there for you looking after you on a similar time as they are laid up in mattress with a broken leg so a methods as i'm in touch they hit the jackpot interior the chum lotto. This individual would not could like loads of a chum to me!!! And my daughter would not ever choose different anymore. She's friends with all and sundry different than the neighbor baby!!!
2016-12-10 05:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She already knows your concerns and at this point doesn't want to change. When you are that overweight you are often depressed and the more people harp on your weight the more depressed you become. Your best bet is to let her know that if and when she decides to do something about her weight then you will be behind her 100%. She most likely feel out of control right now. Back off a little and help her get that control back.
2006-07-12 01:14:12 · answer #4 · answered by firefly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Butt out unless she asks for help.
How do you know that she isn't trying anyway? A work night out is not the ideal place to be eating salads, especially if everyone else is scoffing pizza. This could have been her "night off".
If you mention anything you will only make her upset and offend her.
2006-07-12 01:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a very good mate, it might be worth having a night in, with out food or alcohol, and ask why and how she got so big. There could be any number of reasons. If the blanket answer is 'comfort eating', what is she taking comfort from, i.e. what is she avoiding?
I disagree with the people who say 'let them come to it in their own time, they have to want to do it, etc' In my opinion, you have to go on the gentle attack, and show them what they are doing do themselves, their bodies, internal organs etc, the effect on family and loved ones, when they die too early.
Best of luck. If you really want to help, you have one hell of a task ahead of you, and that takes a true friend
2006-07-12 01:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by B F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some horrible people out there, no one ever seems to sympathise with obese people. They are only bulimics that can't throw up. Show me an obese person thats truly happy and I would be AMAZED.
I myself am too. I have started on reductil prescribed by my GP and I have never felt this positive. I have lost weight and I think that this time I have cracked it.
As for your friend, she must admit that she has a problem herself. Tell a white lie and only if she brings it up that you have a friend on reductil and its really working for her (use my name and tell her I have lost a ton if you like)
Another thing might be to ask her if she would join you in some exercise, say that you don't fel like you have the willpower to go by yourself and it could be fun.
Best bet - GP
Let her realise it herself.
2006-07-12 03:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by Lucy S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first she must want the help first other wise there's nothing u can do.
but if i was u the only way is to do it together even if u don't need to lose weight do it in a way of support so she wont feel offended joined the gim and get her to joind to so that way u guys r going together and ur there for the support i was over weight my self i lost 1 stone in 2 weeks i just did it because i wanted to feel comfortable with my self the problem with ur friend is that shes comfortable with her self that is bad because shes thinking shes slim and theres no need for diet the truth is if she carry on like that shes eating herself to death
2006-07-12 03:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by joann m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day shes gotta want to lose weight and by the sonuds of what shes eating she doesnt exactly care! If shes a close friend though you can always show her what its doing to you, tell her how much it hurts you to see her doing this to herself!But theres only so much that you can do!if she chooses to get rid of the weight then do it with her for support!
2006-07-12 10:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by jemma b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good she has someone like you who cares about her. She probably really hates herself for being fat. Help her to feel better about herself by pointing out to her all her good features, physical and personality.Help her to choose clothes that flatter her ( loose ones made for people who are fat like from Evans).
There is not much you can do to enourage her to diet. She has to want to do that herself. If you talk about diets it will just make her feel bad and that you are getting at her.Just be her friend and dont judge her by her weight.
If she does start a diet pay her loads of attention and comment how much better she is looking even before she has lost a lot of weight.
2006-07-12 01:18:30 · answer #10 · answered by Susan P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋