Broken hearted, please help?

Question

My parents hated my boyfriend, they would never let me stay the night with him.
lt put alot of pressuer on us.We have just broken up and he says it's cos l could never spend the night, l'm 19, we dated for 10 months.
He blames it on us not ever being able to spend the night together, but if you really love someone l thought you would be willing to go through a little bit of s h i t for them if it ment you could just be together.
My parents said they'd throw me out if l carried on seeing him, he didnt want me staying with him?
We split when he stared seeing someone new.

Just so people get it, when l say "spend the night" l just mean staying over, we were already having sex, but l could never just stay for a cuddle, l had to go home.

Answer 1

Tough. Neither your parents nor your boyfriend did you a favour...
Yes, when you love somebody, you put up with a lot for them - especially when you know that those are external problems (like the other's parents putting pressure on them).

A pity you couldn't just pick up your bags and go, but if he started seeing somebody else... if it wasn't your parents, and not spending nights together, he would have found another excuse. You see, a very wise person told me once - when you want to do something, you find the way. When you don't want to do it, you find the excuse.

Answer 2

Hi dear, spending a night together cannot be the only reason for splitting. This person is willing to have a physical relationship & nothing else. When his desire gets fulfilled after a certain time he would have quitted the relationship by giving some other reason as well.

You are adult now and can take care of yourself. Just remember one thing. Your parents will not think anything bad for you so dont blame them. Beware of flirts. Bcoz true love can never split bcoz of lack of night stay.

Answer 3

hie. firstly can i just say you're not the only person whose rents wont allow you to spend the night at a boyfriendsb at19. but you have to know that you should not blame the breakup on your parents at all. they are just doing what is right to protect you. they love you - you are their daughter, and i know you may not see it that way at the moment but they really are doing what they think is in your best intrest because of the love they have.
i used to argue with my mom all the time when i was 18+ish about boyfriends. never mind my father, he got so frustrated with me sumtimes he'll just not speak, not just not to me but to anyone. they just never liked any of them. and most of the time hunnie they have reason for it, they are right, my mom can see what is in a boys head and heart much better than i can, i dont know to this day how she can just KNOW. But she always saw the quality in them that is not right.
that is probably what you parents see when they look at him. hes not good for you - you can do better.
when you find a boy that is real your parents will see that and like him. trust me, then you will be free to date him, and spend the night, go on holiday together etc, they have to trust him (and you) for that to happen. but u r only at nineteen... you have your life ahead of you. there will be other guys.
you shuld blame the break up on your ex. to him obviously what you had between the two of you is not THAT special. i know that sounds harsh for you were in love, and he probably told you he loved you too. but not really. else he'd have stuck by you. you are already havving sex what is the big deal about staying the night? it is only a little hiccup in a relationship. if he was real he'd have respected your situation and your parents's wishes.
the fact that he left and actually used 'u not bein able to spend the night' as a reason - excuse more like, - just shows how he feels about the relationship that you are in. you should try realise you are better off without him. i know its hard, but do everything you can, to try.
plus he's found sum1 else now. that didnt tek long for him to get over his 'love' for you now did it? again that should tell you something abt the relationship and how he feels abt yu.
do yourself a favour babe, forget about him, he is not worth a thought anymore.
move on. spare yourself the hurt and just push him to the back of your mind.

Answer 4

well id say your better off without i know it dont seem like it right now but if he dumped you and hooked up with sombody else that quick he was only after one thing, you feel lost without because hes put all blame onto yourself. pull yourself together and start doing new things look to the future and he is the past you should also think about your parents they probably could tell what he was after and they were trying to protect as good parents should. life is never easy but youll move on and this will be a distant memory that u dont even think about.... move on youve been given your life back.

Answer 5

It's not the reason why you split up. I know a lot of even older people who have very satisfying relationships but never spent the night. Maybe he just felt that you were not independant when making your own decisions and to obedient toward your parents..

Answer 6

Sometimes life could be so hard to understand. If you love your boyfriend, and he love you too much, you together should, have conversation with your parents and be open about where is the problem. Sometimes you must to do what your parents says, but remember, when you are 19 years old you are responsible about yourself and how you are create your life, so my advice is first to have open conversation with your parents,

regards

Answer 7

Dear frustrated,

If your bf doesn't understand what u r goin through and pressuring u to do something u can't, pls dump him.....love is all abt understand, caring , give and take n never selfish.............Your parent are like your guardian angels, They never want to see their child go the wrong way..trust me they know best. U'll thank them one day for being harsh to u now........leaving a guy like this will only make your life happier in the future.

Answer 8

you are 19 its your parents who are probably having trouble realising that you are not their little girl anymore. I know its annoying that they dont seem to understand but they are just doing it becuase they love you. Your boyfriend on the other hand should have understood the situation, but to be honest I think its becuase he found someone else anyway. Its probably best for you to move on and find another man who is mature enough to be in a long term relationship.

Answer 9

YOUR PARENTS R FULL OF S**T! they prob didnt even realise u2 were having it off already, and in a unsuccesful way tried to prevent it, thinking u 2 b irresponsible. n e way dat guys no good, dnt worry bout him cos he obviously isnt worrying bout u, hes alredy moved on and is shaggin sum1 else. he obviously didnt luv u dat much 2 begin with! ur rite...if he did luv u he wud of put up with ur parents bull 4 a lot longer than he did! it sounds like u need to move on,even though its hard and GET UR OWN PLACE UR OLD ENUFF NOW...DNT U THINK SO? jus keepin it real sweetie.
**tatty259**

Answer 10

I think that was rather selfish of him to say that it was your fault by not spending the night with him... If he really loved you, He would have done somthing to stay together with you. Now he sees someone else? I really think if he loved you, he wouldn't have been able to do that so easily...I know it's hard to forget about someone that you really love...but you have to try and remember what he did to you....is that what you really want?

Answer 11

There is a proverb in my locality. A chic is been prevented from going to the field and it started crying hue. Not knowing that it is been protected from the hawk.
I believe you know what the hawk does to the chics and the chicken?
Thank God for your parents, may they live long.