like:
"did you just have a shower??"
"NO...there was a thunderstorm in the bathroom"
orrr
seeing a man in a stretcher taken in an ambulance "are they taking you to hospital??"
"NO...I'm going to watch the world cup"
etc etc
2006-07-11 23:34:59 · 8 answers · asked by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q: Did you catch that fish?
A: No, I talked him into giving himself up.
A: No, I was sitting here minding my own business when the crazy thing jumped into my pail.
A: No, it's a plastic model to get people like you to start fascinating conversations.
Q: (from a woman just pulled over by a police officer) Did I do something wrong, officer?
A: No, today we're giving tickets out for doing things right.
A: No, I just got tired of lugging around these heavy summonses so I decided to give some of them away.
A: No, I'm giving a ticket to this crazy street because it's going the wrong way.
Q: (from a waiter, to a husband and wife) Table for how many?
A: A hundred and twelve -- we like to change seats every few minutes.
A: One -- my wife will sit on my shoulders.
A: I don't know -- I can't count that high, either.
Q: (From lady to fellow bus-rider) Isn't my baby beautiful?
A: That's a baby?
A: Yes, in a Jabba-The-Hutt sort of way.
A: Yes, but not nearly as beautiful as this spit up on my coat.
Q: Were you sitting there?
A: No, my imaginary friend, (insert name), is sitting there.
A: No, I was sitting there.
A: Yes... and there... and there... and there!
Q: You're not going to wear THAT are you?
A: Actually, i was planning on going out naked.
A: Only if you don't like it.
Q: (from store clerk to man) Is this dress a gift?
A: No, i'm planning on wearing it on my date tonight.
A: No, i'm starting a new fashion craze for men.
Q: Is that yours???
A: No, I stole it.
A: Actually I took it out of your wallet.
A: No, I just like showing of my friend's things.
Q: Do you like the lunch you packed today?
A: No, I just put it in there for show.
A: Not at all, I just pack it, then throw it away and go hungry.
Q: So you haven't caught any fish yet huh?
A: Sure, I've caught millions, they're just in the water playing tag!
A: What are talking about? I'm teaching my worm how to swim!
Q: Is it raining outside?
A: Does it ever rain inside?
Q: (Person watching a trick) Am I supposed to pick a card?
A: No, you're supposed to pick your nose.
A: No, you're supposed to take all of them.
Q: (Student to teacher) Can I go to the bathroom?
A: I don't know. Can you?
A: Are you wearing a diaper?
Q: Why can't you be like your brother?!
A: Just lucky I guess.
A: Because I'm not really into geekiness.
Q: If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?!
A: Sure, maybe I'd land on a fat kid!
A: I don't know, would it mess up my hair?
A: Can't you do that at Disney World?
Q: Did you bring your lunch today?
A: No, I'm going to eat yours!
A: No, I just carry this bag around because it looks cool.
A: No, I'm going to puke up yesterday's and eat it again!
Q: So how was school today?
A: The police will fill you in.
A: A living [uh, heck] like always.
Q: Excuse me sir, is this the end of the line?
A: No, it's the front, we're all standing backward!
Q: Are you gonna eat that?
A: Only if you want it.
A: No, I'm going to have it bronzed and put on my mantle.
Q: May I have this dance?
A: Sure, I don't want it.
Q: (from doctor to patient) So, how are you today?
A: Great! I just really like your company.
A: Oh, I'm fine. I just needed some tissues.
Q: (from the clerk at the store) Will there be anything else?
A: Why? Wasn't this enough?
A: Not right now. I plan on coming back and buying the entire store one item at a time.
A: Thanks for reminding me. I'll be back.
Q: Are you going to eat that?
A: No I was trying to see if I could see it getting colder!
A: No I was seeing how long you'd go without saying something about it!
Q: So, you're raising a farm?
A: No, I keep the cattle for pets.
Q: Is this your e-mail link?
A: No, it's your e-mail link. Write yourself a note.
A: No, it's a request for a U.S. Postal mail carrier to come to your door and pick up your mail.
A: Yes, and please don't send any.
check ya later ♥
2006-07-12 01:32:57 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Nope, I just bought a new raincoat and wanted to try it out before it actually rains.
I used that one on my wife when she walked into the bathroom while I was in the shower.
2006-07-12 07:26:02 · answer #2 · answered by Stephen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh No!! I just went for a spin in the toilet bowl!!
No its my personal commuting coach, Gas/Petrol is so costly that i've purchased the stretcher and hired these guys to carry it around!
2006-07-12 07:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by nice_libra_guy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need, my friend, is Al Jaffe's book, Snapy Answers to Stupid Questions, put out by MAD Magazine! search for it and I am sure you won't be disappointed.
(What, did you think I came up with them all by myself...?)
2006-07-12 08:14:19 · answer #4 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"did you just have a shower??" - What - has it stopped raining!
"are they taking you to hospital??" - Wow - nah, I'm just wanted a hamburger and didn't have a ride into town!
2006-07-12 09:18:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No to every question you have asked and to every question you are thinking of considering to attempt and try to ask.
2006-07-12 06:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by police 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I had one this morning!
2006-07-12 06:38:58 · answer #7 · answered by hbsyumm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
" are you crying?"
"No my eyes are taking a piss"
2006-07-12 07:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋