Potty Training?

Question

My girl is just over 2 years and throws a fit every time I bring up "going pee or poop" on the potty. I'm not going to be one of those mothers that let their kids go until "they're ready". I'm not changing diapers before pre-school or kindergarden. She tells me before she goes, but she won"t do it if I sit her down, she begs for her pull ups and waits till their on....and she'll go for hours....and she throws a fit if i try to sit her on the potty. I've offered her everything...stickers, crayons, markers, even money to go on the potty. Now what???

Answer 1

Well as I hate to say it, she may not be ready to yet. I have a daughter who just turned 3 and we're still coaxing her to go. It has nothing to do with not being sturn, its just that the kid isn't going to physically go no matter how long you wait until they are ready mentally. In fact, by making the potty a negative experience by making her sit there and such, you may be giving her a negative complex about it.

It's great that she is already telling you before she goes!!! That is a wonderful step to be at. Now take her to the potty when you go and sit on the potties together. Keep doing the stickers or something. Stick with one reward, something she really likes. If she doesn't go, then don't giver her the reward, but instead tell her that maybe next time she can get it if she goes on the potty. Continue to hype that diapers are for babies, not big girls. Buy her some panties and show her that she can wear those if when shes a big girl and gos on the potty.

I wouldn't worry about it. Your at a very good stage at a young age. Most children potty train between 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 yrs. Don't worry about pre school or kindergarten. No child has ever gone to kindergarten in diapers!!!

Answer 2

I started out by buying a simple white potty that looked the closest to a regular toilet. No bells n' whistles. Then I got her the "Feel N Learn" pull-ups which are great because when they are wet, they feel wet to the child. Then we had a "sticker" program. I would put her potty in front of the toilet and we would both go potty together. Every time she was successful, she got a sticker that she placed on the bathroom cupboard beside her potty chair. That way she was able to see the rewards of her efforts. And I also made a big effort to praise her really dramatically! Then we'd both empty her potty into the toilet and wave and say "bye-bye peepees/poopoos, thanks for coming out!" She'd sometimes just sit on the chair and "pretend" to potty just so she'd get a sticker! But she quickly figured out that she needed to produce visible results... It took about 2 months. Then I took her shopping and let her pick out her own underwear (Dora). She was so happy to wear them and very, very proud. She had a few accidents but I never made a big deal out of them to her. It got tricky when we went out because it's important that as soon as said she had to potty, we had to pull over right away. I was sure NOT to fall back on the pullups just because we were out. It just prolongs the process. She was able to wear underwear during the day and a pullup at night. Then, eventually she lost the nightime pullup and I woke her at 2am and took her to the potty - every night for about a week. And then that was that.

Every child is different tho - the key is to make a big fuss when they go and not make a fuss if they don't. Good luck with it.

Answer 3

Wow, so many potty training questions tonight. I'm copying my answer from a previous question, so please forgive the 'he' and 'him's" but I'm too tired to retype.

First of all, make sure he is ready to potty train. My advice (and I potty train about 10 kids each school year in my pre k class) is to ditch the pull ups,they feel the same as diapers and keep the wetness away from the child. Buy training pants, which are lined with thicker layers of material in the crotch area. Expect accidents and lots of laundry initially, but it will be worth it in the long run. Many parents expect their child to tell them when they want to go. That is not so. When I'm potty training a child, I only begin when I notice the child is retaining urine for a long time; in other words their diaper is dry often when I check ( check every half hour at first), then you may notice that they "flood" around 10:00 each morning (or whatever time). This tells me the child has enough control of his bladder to hold it for awhile- good time to start potty training. After you see somewhat of a pattern developing for urinating, then try the training pants. Of course you'll be reading them all those cute little potty training kiddie books to prepare them before they start. You may even buy a little potty chair, but don't let them play with it; a toilet is not a toy. It may confuse some kids if they can play with it, then they won't want to pee in it. As you begin potty training, take your child to the potty about every 30 minutes. Have him sit for just a few minutes. Let him read the potty book if you like, and praise him for sitting, but reward with a sticker or M&M only if he actually pees, even if it's only 5 drops. I make a chart on a piece of paper with a picture of the child and it has about 6 places where the child can stamp the chart when they actually pee. They get to reward themselves by stamping the chart, and when the chart is full, they can get a special treat (keep it simple). Children will not learn to control their BM's until later, so don't expect it right away. And they will not tell you that they need to go; don't ask them, TELL them it's time to go- you are in charge. If they fight you because they want to play or go out, tell him "Potty first, then play (or whatever the desired activity is). Eventually, your child will not resist because he'll learn it's quicker to go and get it over with, and soon after that, you'll find he'll start going on his own. Each child is different in the amount of time it takes to potty train, so be patient, and don't punish if they dont go or if they have an accident; it will come in time. Punishment, yelling will only cause the child stress and they will regress in their training. I have had children with developmental delays potty train in three days and others potty train in 2 years (talk about being patient!!). But the difference in the kids that learned quickly is that the parents consistently followed the advice even thought it was a lot of work. The parents that didn't follow through at home had to buy diapers a lot longer. As a teacher, I insist on everyone involved with the child working together as a team so the child doesn't get confused or regress, and so they can progress and have success with potty training. Good luck.

Answer 4

I just got finished potty training my son (I say potty training... but really he did it). He'll be 3 in August, and sorry, but I have to say, he wouldn't do it until he was ready. He wouldn't throw a fit about it, but he just didn't have any interest. The problem with pull-ups is that they don't FEEL wet. If there was a potty around and Daniel didn't have any clothes on, he would use the potty, but if he was wearing his pull-ups, he didn't feel any need to use it. So if you're going to gain any ground here, you have to get her out of those pull ups.

Having said "they won't do it until their ready" there are some things you can do to encourage the situation.

Since it's summer time, just leave her naked from the waist down (or in a skirt with no underwear). Break the issue with the pullups. Put them away somewhere so she doesn't see them. Tell her you don't have any pullups (only special pants for night-time) and that there is no choice, she can't have them. Trust me, when she wants to go badly enough she'll either use the potty, or wet herself. Either way, it's a step up. So if she wets or poos somewhere other than the potty, don't get cross with her. Praise her for trying and show her the potty, tell her "next time, can you try to do it in there?"

Leave the potty in the room all the time. Its less stressful for her if she's used to seeing it around all the time and its not just something that comes out "when it's time". She'll get used to it more. Allow her to play with it if she wants to. Let her put toys in it, or even wear it like a hat, as long as she's showing an interest and not freaking out the moment she sees it. I know this can be controversial, because some say it teaches them that it's a toy. In my experience, my son no longer puts anything in his potty now that he's potty trained, but it certainly helps if they don't scream the moment they see a potty.

Try to find an encouraging reason for her to be potty trained. For Daniel, he is really excited about starting nursery in the fall. After he had his first nursery visit and saw how exciting it was, we told him he had to be "wearing big boy pants all the time" before he could go to school. That the teacher wouldn't allow kids in pull-ups. He was dry within days of telling him that.

I don't find "rewards" to be very effective. Daniel wanted the sticker after he went on the potty, and knew I would give him one, but it wasn't enough of any incentive to make him use the potty. I don't think kids that young really get bribery. LOL

Try her on the toilet. It's not many kids, but every so often you'll find one who refuses a potty but will just go straight to using a toilet. Buy a little step stool if you don't already have one, and try it. Allow her into the bathroom to see you using the toilet (if you don't already) and reinforce the idea that this is the way big girls go pee, only babies wear pullups.

Most of all, be consistant. Don't "give in" and put the pull ups back on her. You have to be prepared for some mess. There will be accidents (especially if she's being really stubborn about it).

And finally, don't stress about it. The more stressed you get about it, the more of an "issue" it becomes and the less likely she will be to do it. I understand you want to get over this hurdle, but 2 still isn't that old in the potty training game, so you will have to be patient. Trust me, she won't still be in pull ups when she's 18, you'll get there.

If all else fails, try the Dr. Phil method. I didn't use it, but I have a friend who did who said it worked. I'll have to find you the link for it....

Edited to add: Okay, this is the Dr. Phil method. http://drphil.com/articles/article/264/

Answer 5

Wait, wait & wait!!! Unfortunately, the more you insist, the longer she will hold out, and believe me, they can hold out longer than we can!
My daughter did the same thing to me and I did the same things you did. When I finally backed off, she just did it on her own. Don't traumatize her, all kids are different. My daughter is a very independent and well adjusted child, dispite the fact that she potty trained late!! Patience! Good Luck!!! You are a good mom! Don't worry about what other people will think!!!!

Answer 6

Im 13, i have a 2 year old brother, my advice...get those pull-ups that make the childs bottom cold whenever he/she wets it or something. It works. But also, encourage her.