Converting to Islam?

Question

My boyfriend is a Muslim and I am currently without a religion. He has taught me so much about the religion and i find it to be extremely beautiful, postitive and truthful. It makes so much sense. Well there are plans to marry my boyfriend someday (if God intends) But no matter what I will be converting to Islam. My question is to people who have converted aswell. Was it a good choice for you? Did you have a religion before? Tell me about your expirience.

Also, I come from a household where the women are the stronger ones and basically have the most authority. Because of this I have grown to be a bit outspoken and I often talk back. I also have the instinct to take authority and do whatever I want. Are there ways to get rid of this habit? I want to be more of a listener and do as I am told.

If you have nothing helpful or polite to say, don't answer! Thanks!

Thanks for the replies so far!

Let me explain that my boyfriend is not trying to change me. I'm happily making this decision on my own, but with his help!

And I don't believe that Jesus is the son of God...

Also, ever since he has introduced me to Islam I have felt like a better person. I have done things as well that are just over all better for myself and others. He has taught me to get close with my family and form a better relationship with them as well as other things.

I can understand how people are seeing me as a "doormat" or whatever, but I'm truely okay with that term if need be. My dream is to be the best wife I can be, and I will stop at nothing less.

I'll stay strong as suggested, I want a strong family aswell. i was thinking of ways to tone it down with my boyfriend, because I don't ever want to argue!

Alright, i'm going to do my speaking out...To one poster... I don't feel like going back to see what your nickname is because if you can't have respect for one's decisions, I wont give you mine.

First of all; 'American style' is something that has bothering me since I was able to have an opinion of my own. I hate american culture. Don't compare a religion to country, they're two different things. But if I wanted to do something american style, i'd have to say I actually was... considering I was born with the rights of religious freedom. Second, I don't look at other men to begin with. No matter if he was a muslim, catholic, or atheist, I wouldn't look at another man because i'm commited to him and only him. You use many stereotypes as well, which is ridiculous. I'm irish and I don't drink alcohal, does that BLOW your mind? I'll wear a hijab with pride. Do I NEED pork to survive? No, because that would be weak. You honestly have no affect on me, other than the fufillment of this post

To the person who said I had sex with others? If you actually read what I said, I explain that I lied to him about being with others. He is the only guy I have ever had sex with.

We both understand that what we did was wrong in the ideals of Islam but we both have begged for forgivness. I am his first kiss, first girlfriend... etc. He is not out looking for a good time. One of the reasons we plan on being together is because we lost out virginity together.

He admits, he isn't that faithful to his religion, but he's trying. I'm trying too, and we're helping eachother. So please re-read what I said, and understand my situation.

Answer 1

Alf mabrook (1000 congratulations) to you!!! I'm very happy for you that you are becoming close to God. I think He is using your b/f as a vessel to attract you to Him.

As for you being strong-minded... this is your nature, and I hope you don't suppress yourself, pack yourself down, just so that you can keep your guy. You are intelligent and outspoken, and he knows this of course. The key isn't to overtake him, nor is it to become quiet and "shut up" as you put it. The key is to cooperate and practice consultation with one another. Be strong, and know that the strong are the ones who control a sharp tongue (if that's the case, I don't know). Pray to God to help you improve yourself, not to transform into someone else.

As for kool_rock_ski_stickem's comments, he's 100% ignorant about Islam. Don't sweat him or anyone else who badmouths you or Islam. You will find this, though, because NoAmerica is mostly Christian, and most don't bother reading up on Islam.

Again, congratulations to you and to your b/f for you both doing what you can to become close to God. Alhamdulillah!

Answer 2

Your question is an interesting and complicated one.

I come from a Muslim family, but I do not practice the religion myself, and can tell you that moderate Muslims are no more restrictive than any other group of religious people.

However, among Muslims there seems to be a stronger tendency towards fundamentalism than with other religious groups, and in my opinion a woman who holds traditionally liberal, Western views might be ill-suited for such a household.

That being said, it's impossible to give you any sort of definitive answer, because many of the traits people associate with being Muslim are actually descriptors of Arabs. Islam has spread beyond the middle east to Africa, and Southern Asia (and elsewhere to a lesser degree). I think you'll find your experience will depend more on where you potential husband is from than just that he is a Muslim.

Please consider your decision carefully and good luck!

Answer 3

Dear Girl, Your nature and character are not compatible with Islamic culture, however, this will be history once you really devote your life in togetherness with the man you will share it. I didn't converted yet I have a religion, which mean that I do not qualify to answer you by experience. I live and work in Middle East for 25 years though and I can tell you that the rule is that the man convert to the woman's' religion yet when women converted from liberal background to Islam, the marriage didn't go well in most of the cases. Having said that, in most of the cases women convert in order to get married and escape poverty, not because they want it.
My advice is simple; ONLY YOU and your man can discuss and answer this but the major part of the decision will be on your side.
With love and trust, you will have a successful and good life together.

Answer 4

I am so happy for you! Before you make this life-changing decision, you should be sure that you are doing it for yourself as well as for God, and not just for your boyfriend. After you are positive about this, I can't wait. lol.

It's great to hear that Islam has had a positive effect on many people's lives because I am Muslim and I have found that the way I live my life has been better off than most Christians I know, no offense to them. I also agree with "Abdulhaq," I think that he has made some excellent points. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me, I'll do what I can to help you.

Insha'allah, things will go well, and that you will join us and become my sister in Islam.

Answer 5

As I always try to advice my reverted Muslim brothers and sisters that take one thing at a time, ask questions and try to find answers.

I don't need to tell you about how all human beings are equal in Islam as I am sure your soon-to-be husband has already done that.

There might be many points in your life where you might find things nonsense but if you look at the big picture, everything works with each other.

To the person who tried to pull a joke about 4 wives:
Islam is the ONLY religion that I am aware of which limits one to marry a maximum and a minimum, please do some reseach.
This also reminds to about a Texan brother who entered Islam few years back said "If you wanna marry 4 women, marry ONE Texan girl, she is equal to 4"

Answer 6

It's not that I'm trying to be in polite but.......you have to realize that islam does not believe that Jesus is the Son of God.......so converting to islam to suit your boyfriend in the end will not help you.......Do not DENY your SAVIOR which if you convert to islam you will
Also with islam the Man can be more brutish to the Woman than in any other religion on earth.........Think really hard and look these things up for yourself don't let me or anyone else talk you into anything.......Read and Look 4 yourself
God Bless you and yours

Answer 7

Welcome to Islam.
I would like to give some advice to Sister whom i do care fro.
First, please read more about Islam, learn, not for your boyfriend, it is for you , for your present and future.
Second, I am happy to know that you are " a bit outspoken ", keep it that way, a strong woman makes a strong Family, makes strong kids...that is part of Islam teachings.

Third, please read about the woman in Islam, from different sources, you will find that you will be more respected by your husband and kids, than being in any other religion. do not give up your rights as the true Islam teachings, hold to it and teach it to the others, mainly , your kids.

If you need help on th teachings of Islam, you could visit one or more of the below mentioned web sites.

May Allah bless you and your husband.

Answer 8

"Are there ways to get rid of this habit? I want to be more of a listener and do as I am told."

Do you hear yourself? Are you going to turn yourself into a doormat for this guy? What is wrong with you? Nevermind his religion for the moment. What about what makes you you? There are plenty of people on this site who will ask you the religious questions. I will just leave you with the personal one.

Answer 9

Well i'm a muslim but I have friends that have converted to Islam. They think that converting to Islam was a REALLY positive experience and it has given them strength and truthfulness (like you said). They were Christians before.

Oh yeah, to lose that habit, try to listen more and look at things from the other person's view.
sorry it didnt help much. but any questions you can email me.

Answer 10

good luck and congratulation. I have Muslim friends and believe me women are outspoken and they are not the way the media preview them as followers. I think Muslim women have more rights, but it is the middle eastern culture is different. In Islam, guys are not allowed to marry 4 women just like that, they could in certain situation, like his wife can't have kids, she is become sick and can't take care of his needs and many more exceptions.