i am going out with this guy and he has to know where i am everywhere i go. He is paranoid that i am going to not be there for him 24-7 and it is hurting my relationship with my family since he wants me to have him as my first priority before my parents. I am scared, since he gets upset easily, and i want to end it but in other ways i don't since i don't have anyone else to hang out with. Tell me what to do!!!
2006-07-11 19:00:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well sweetie it sounds like he is an extremely jealous person. Sometimes men love some one so much that they have to hang onto them all the time and don't want to share them with anyone else this includes parents. You can't be afraid of being alone.
Sometimes it's better to be alone for the right reasons then to stay with someone that makes you unhappy for the wrong reasons. If he gets upset easily and you would like to break up with him, I would suggest you have someone with you that you trust will be there when you break the news to him just in case he gets really upset.
Make sure your boyfriend isn't drinking alcohol at the time because that can make his anger worse. If you want to stay with him then you need to sit down with him and calmly say "sweetheart I need to discuss something with you and I dont want you to get upset with me. I'm only going to say what I'm feeling and what's on my mind to keep the communication between us strong."
If he agrees, start slowly with something like "have I given you a reason not to trust me?" and just say it as calmly and gentle as you can. The reason I say that is because there is some men out there if you are stern with them their defenses go up and they feel like that are under attack.
Next question "why do you feel like I'm going to leave you?" same calm and gentle. Then just take each question you have for him and let him respond after each one. If he says something you don't like don't react harsh, just say "ok, I'm sorry if that upsets you or if I gave you reason to think that"
If you would like more advice on this you can Instant message me or email me or even go to my blog.
Good luck to you sweetie.
blessings,
Kerri
http://360.yahoo.com/ask_kerri)
2006-07-11 19:14:26 · answer #1 · answered by Dolphin Babe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well honestly no women needs a man that tells her what she can and cant do. I understand some guys being worried about a girl cheating on him but in a relationship you have to have trust if you aint got trust then you arent going to have a relationship. No guy should come before you family considering there the ones that brought you here. So if I was you id have a talk with your man and tell him he needs to either trust you and let you see your family and go places without him getting upset or yall cant have a relationship because no man can force you or tell you what you can an cant do. Its simple, and also just because you think you dont need to leave him because there is no one else to hang out with there is a difference in hanging out and a relationship if your serious about a relationship you can find someone for you it might take time but the time is worth the wait in the long run! Hope this is helpful
2006-07-11 19:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should end it and start looking for a normal boyfriend.
It sounds like you don't even like this guy. You should never be in a relationship with someone you don't like.
You should be able to be single. If you can't cope without a boyfriend you should ask yourself why and maybe seek professional help with that. Being lonely sucks but it shouldn't be unbearable.
The sooner you dump this turkey the sooner you can find someone who is actually good.
2006-07-11 19:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by glenbrent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be careful.... HE is way tooooo controlling. And if you stay too long, he will soon have all control over you. I have seen it in the past with other people.
Remember, family first!!! And a real man, boyfriend will understand. He has his own insecurities. Dont let them be yours. He has some growing up to do.
And as far as hanging out with someone....ask yourself, is it worth it... hanging out with someone who wants to control you, is it worth it that maybe some day he will get out of control and maybe even hurt you. BE CAREFUL. Hang out with some girlfriends or even family till the next guy comes along....
2006-07-11 19:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by LM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now and run as fast as you can!!
It won't ever get better and it may get a whole lot worse!!
Most of these turn into emotionally and verbally abusive relationships, or even physical.
You can make other friends, and it is worth it to do so.
In the meantime, do things that you love to do, by your self. As you hang out in places you enjoy going, you will meet other like minded individuals.
2006-07-11 19:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a healthy situation.In fact, these are early signs of a possibly abusive relationship. This man is too possessive over you and this sounds like its still a new relationship. Stand your ground, set boundaries and if i were you, I'd get out of this ASAP. Go out there and make new friends. Respect yourself enough to know whats best for you.
2006-07-11 19:07:19 · answer #6 · answered by butterflying_dream 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are all major red flags of an abusive relationship. He is majorly controlling. My advise, from many past abusive relationships: Leave the relationship immediately!! It will only get worse & worse! Join a church group or any other group to get yourself involved with other people. Do it now.
2006-07-11 19:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that your family is first and that he has to understand that your family is 1st. remember you are always going to find someone to hang out with just give it time. And one tip, next time something like this happens the first time it happens, put your feet on the ground and stop it. just say
why are you treating me this way?
in that way he would know that he can not do it again.
2006-07-11 19:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by loopnet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a very unhealthy jealous personality. My sister just broke up with someone that is just like you described. One of the things that finally made her realize that she needed to get away from him was a phone conversation when she came over to my mother's house. It was something like "Who all is up there?" She says, "My Family". He says "What's that supposed to mean? Who is up there?" She says, "Everyone My mom, and 2 brothers... sisters" He says, "Can you name them? You know their names right?" So she names us and he says, "Anyone else?" Anyway.. this conversation led her to just tell him. She wasn't alone with him after that either, because she was afraid he might get violent.
I think that it's a control issue too. If he isolates you from your family and friends, then you don't have a support system if he treats you badly. Loose the creep. IMHO
2006-07-11 19:12:57 · answer #9 · answered by linetap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is way too clingy. You have to get rid of him because it won't change if you stick around. And you have your family to hang out with since you probably haven't seen them in a while.
2006-07-11 19:04:51 · answer #10 · answered by tjandjess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋